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My Korean Adventure

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Looking back at your posts I see two questions were not answered-- Should you share with her your cock lock agony? and Should you tell her about the Korean Air stewardesses?
Yes to both. But to the extent it enhances her pleasure and does not override the primacy of what she is doing over what is happening to you. You are to enjoy and suffer denial and loss of control as part of her adventure.
You say she is shy and submissive. Letting her dominate you then is likely a potent elixir for her.
Question: Given her submissive tendencies, which would you find more angst producing and exciting-- Min-Ju aggressively seeking out guys and getting what she wants from them. OR Being dominated by some guy who expands her experiences beyond what she would do herself? Question: Would your answer be different if dominant guy shared her with his friends. OR Arranged gang bangs?
 
We had a good chat this morning, and talked through a lot of things. We talked more about her friends and about what she told them about us, and we caught up on our days. I felt bad but I couldn't help myself from pestering her about the guy she kissed. She really seemed to like how fixated I was on it, and kept laughing. She finally asked, "Do you really want to hear?" "You know I do," I insisted. "Then beg me for it."

It's hard to describe how aroused I was to look into my pretty wife's face and have to beg her to tell me more about the guy she kissed. She wears her hair long, with straight bangs cut over her big dark eyes. She looks so eager and innocent. So I beg her. I beg her to tell me about the kiss, and I can feel the blood rising into my cheeks. She tells me he put his hand on her lower back and pulled her up against him during a slow song. They were on a crowded dance floor so probably none of her friends were able to see. His tongue pushed against her lips, wanting inside, so she parted for him. She felt his tongue entering her. His other hand moved up along the side of her breast, and knowing how much it would turn me on, she pressed her breasts against him, letting him feel for her nipple.

Maddeningly, she's wearing one of those modest tops that completely covers her cleavage, but my eyes are locked onto her boobs as she's telling me this. "Oh, is someone missing getting to see these?" she asked, coyly. Blood and heat flood into my face. I must have been beat red. "Yes," I say hoarsely. "How does it feel to know you're not the last guy to enjoy these?" She played with the straps of her top as though she was going to show me, but then smirked. I just groaned. It's so painful being helpless on the other side of a computer screen. She has such nice breasts, on the larger side for Asian women, a full B cup, with super sensitive nipples. She knows I love them. The truth is the fact that she let this other guy touch them was making my whole body buzz.

Min-Ju hasn't been wearing her wedding ring. Partly due to comfort, with all the travelling, but also partly to tease me. That reminded me of George's question, so we talked about whether she should say "I'm married but have permission to date" or just say "I'm single." We had fun talking through the different implications. Saying she had permission to date heightened the sense of the taboo in a way that we both liked, that she was married and so dating others was a forbidden fruit. But we also considered that a lot of Korean guys probably wouldn't understand that, so maybe the simpler "I'm single" was better. Min-Ju pointed out that saying "permission" implied it was my permission rather than her power and right, so it should be "free to date." Ultimately, I told her it was her call and her decision. She smiled and said "good answer."

We also talked about phone numbers. The guy at the club was just a lark and we both knew it. But I think she wished she could tease me about having his number and the idea of his calling or texting made me hot, so I asked if maybe she should give out her number to guys. She smiled and asked if other guys texting her while I was oblivious over here in America made me hot. She liked that. But Min-Ju is shy, and when it comes down to it she likes to feel submissive too, so then I got a little bold. "Maybe any time a guy asks for your number or asks for a date, you should have to give it? Maybe you shouldn't be allowed to say no?" She looked surprised and her face reddened. Then she nodded and kind of whispered, "I like that idea."

Then I got brave and asked if she's been taking her birth control pills regularly. She set her elbows on the table, propped her chin on her hands, and gave me a stern look. "I'm really unhappy with you for forgetting to leave the condoms for me," she said. "I know," I said, feeling embarrassed. "That was your job," she scolded. I nodded again, a little worried. Birth control is a huge trigger for me and she knows it, and truth be told, I think it's a big trigger for her, too. "If the guy has some it will be ok. But if he doesn't, well, then I guess he gets me bare and you just have to deal with that. As for how faithfully I'm taking the pill, that sounds like something I would talk about with my girlfriends, not with you, doesn't it?"

I could tell our chat left her horny. It left both of us horny, but it left her horny enough I think she wished she did have that guy's number.
 
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Tonight she's having dinner with some Korean artists. She teaches yoga at home but art is her main thing, and she's been working with a museum here to help stage an exhibition of this Korean artist's work. She's finally going to meet him and some of his professor friends. (He's older and I guess fairly successful over there.) It should be a low-key event. The arts crowd is less stuck in the conventional Korean-ness that stresses her out, so it should be fun for her and a good chance to network. I'm happy for her. On a lark I told her she should skip the bra. She laughed and shook her head, saying it's not that kind of dinner.

(More later)
 
Great post.
 
Excellent update! Hopefully the dinner goes well. Her response to you birth control question kind of makes you wonder a little doesn't it?!
 
I had hoped I didn't have to confess about the Korean Air attendants, but I suppose you're right. That makes me nervous as I'm not sure how she'll respond, and it opens up the door for her telling her friends about my predicament. (They know Min-Ju denies me and doesn't let me cum, but they don't know about the cage -- I don't think they would know what that is.)

I've been sharing with her my desperation being locked, and she really likes hearing about it. But you're right that my denial and loss of control should be about her journey, not about what is happening to me. I could actually use some advice with that. I want her to have control. I want her to be able to dominate me. And she can -- she has that power over me and I'm so hopelessly hers and under her thumb. Especially in this cage I feel so hopelessly eager to please her, and think about her constantly. But I'm finding it hard to encourage her to take control, to truly dominate me, even cruelly, and to have her own adventure, without feeling like I'm telling her how to take control. Does that make sense? Any words of wisdom from those with more experience than me?

(I'm also worried we bit off more than we can chew with two weeks in this cage. I'm so hot. But I also worry I might need to ask for an emergency release, but I don't want to disappoint her. This was her idea and her surprise.)

George said:
Question: Given her submissive tendencies, which would you find more angst producing and exciting-- Min-Ju aggressively seeking out guys and getting what she wants from them. OR Being dominated by some guy who expands her experiences beyond what she would do herself? Question: Would your answer be different if dominant guy shared her with his friends. OR Arranged gang bangs?

Definitely the later. The prospect of Min-Ju aggressively seeking out guys and her own experiences is hot, but the possibility of her being dominated by another guy is by far the more angst producing. That's been my role, providing her with new experiences and sexual possibilities. Another guy coming in to give her that would really push me to the side and put me truly out of control. Even more anxiety producing, I think that's what Min-Ju wants. If the guy shared her with his friends? Wow, that would be really submissive. That would be intense. If she got that submissive, if she wanted that, I guess it would be out of my control.
 
Thanks for all the feedback, everyone.

zzzz said:
Excellent update! Hopefully the dinner goes well. Her response to you birth control question kind of makes you wonder a little doesn't it?!

Yes, it really does make me wonder. I'm pretty sure she's being good about taking them, or am I being naive?
 
Loved this thread!

Don't stop Koreanslut. You are living the life most cuck's only dream about in their heads.

My top 3 moments from this thread so far and would love to know more details of is

3) When she "outed" you to her friends. I bet you would have loved to have been a fly on the fall as her and gals gather and dish the dirt on her having the permission to find studs, as she wants. Not to be around and know they are dishes gossip about her freedom and being "outed" to her girls is always a hot read!! Yum Yum!!

2) Getting a scolding and talking to about her on her birth control. Having no power what so ever that she could forget or choose not to take it and have a "extra wild and dangerous" time is a huge turn on to read. To know she has all the power and can do as she pleases with her body even though she is in a marriage is soooo delicious I'm salivating as I write.

And NO. (1) "You remember I'm out of condoms, right?" -- and then clicked off her screen. I almost came in my pants when I read that. boom.
 
Regarding your question about potentially taking control by telling her to, or how to, take control is a valid question and shows your sensitivity.
Suggestions:
1) Things are moving pretty fast already. Perhaps you should let things develop while behaving like she is in control. Nudges appear to be enough.
2) Tell her the truth. Communicate. Communicate. Communication is critical while the rules of your marriage are in flux. Communication engenders love. You want cuckold angst and domination but not loss of love, Love, through honest, considerate communication and caring about her is what protects you from losing her.
3) Read on the Internet about 'toping from the bottom'. Many others have dealt with your 'Am I controlling by telling him/her to control' question.
4) Read other real life journeys on this site. I especially recommend "Soontobe', 'Coucoucocu', and 'Hi from Malaysia' as apropos to your adventure. Each is different showing some of the range these relationships can take. So far I think you are closest to 'Soontobe'. His postings are very long covering several years yet are well worth reading from the beginning. (A side benefit from doing suggestion 4. Your dick will hurt in its cage most of the time.
If you push for it she will find a dominate guy she can not say no to that she has feelings for. He will control her sex life. He might try to cut you out of any sex privileges. She will be questioning her morality, her sanity, and her enjoyable duties as a loving wife to you. Your job is to be there faithfully supporting her and helping her work out the storm of emotions she will be feeling. Imagine her angst when the 'Can't-say-no-to DOM' requires her to serve drinks and snacks at his house for poker night while wearing a see-though thong and a nippleless bra. Imagine her emotions when DOM bets her on a hand and loses. Imagine by the time she gets dropped off naked at your home the next afternoon she is sore everywhere and she can't remember the names of all the guys whom have been in her. However, if the last scenario feels wrong for you two, it won't happen. Why? Because she is truly in control of each relationship. She has a precious gift. Some call it the power of the pussy.
But as long as you two have love between you, you have control. If it is hurting you or your relationship too much, or you ask her to stop some or all of it, and you have love, she will stop the hurting.
And then there are future kids. Most new moms don't play. This allows your relationship to become more conventional. But what if the baby's father is not you? You have a duty to your wife and even more to the baby in your home to love him or her like any other father. Min-Ju is already playing possible conception risk games with you. Communicate. You two can agree on what 'other father' risks are best for you.
 
You mentioned that wearing the cock cage makes you want to serve her. That is the male response women who advocate male chastity rave about. Look up 'Wife led marriages" and 'Male chastity' and similar terms on the Internet. You will find several blogs that discuss the 'advantages' of having hubby in a cock cage.
How did Min-Ju become aware of cock cages? Why did she know it would work for you two? Did she buy it in Korea or take it with her on your 'immediately after marriage' trip? I bet you talked about it before. A most unusual three-week wedding anniversary gift. So by the time she comes home it will be 5+ weeks since you were in her pussy. What's your bet about how many other guys will have been in her by 5+ weeks?
 
This is great! I can't wait until she finds someone to dominate her hard. I am exited to hear all about it and how it makes you feel :) Keep up the great work!
 
MisterX, reading your "top 3" list made me re-live those moments in a really intense way. You're making me hard again, cruel man. I'm glad you liked hearing it. So a few more details:

3) Really I doubt they were too explicit about our situation, though Min-Ju said she was surprised how comfortable they got talking about sex and they did gossip about another friend (not in this group) who's bf knocked up his ex, so I could be wrong. Still, I met some of these friends. The whole point of our visit was to be introduced to family and friends and try to make a good impression, and now some of those same women are laughing. And egging my wife on. It definitely opens the door for her to be more detailed with her friends as things continue. I promised her whatever she decides to share with her friends is entirely up to her, even if it's really embarrassing for me. So we'll see.

2) I agree, the possibility that she's forgetting or "forgetting" is crazy hot. We've role-played in the past about her flushing her pills, or taking them out and making me crush them on the floor. There's a part of me that's screaming inside to ask her to flush them.

In some ways, the hottest part was the scolding. It's so out of character for her, though sometimes a bossy side comes out we call "bitchy Min-Ju". She knows she makes me hot when she does that. I think having everything be long distance, by video and email, makes it easier to say things she normally wouldn't.

Which bring us to #1): Yeah, that hit me in the gut, too.

George, thanks so much for all your suggestions. I'll look into them. If nothing else, it gives me something to distract myself with while I wait to hear from her. You're definitely right that in these scenarios ("DOM bets her on a hand and loses" - wow) I'm too focused on what my emotions are, and not focused enough on what her emotions will be.
 
koreanslut said:
Min-Ju hasn't been wearing her wedding ring. Partly due to comfort, with all the travelling, but also partly to tease me. That reminded me of George's question, so we talked about whether she should say "I'm married but have permission to date" or just say "I'm single." We had fun talking through the different implications. Saying she had permission to date heightened the sense of the taboo in a way that we both liked, that she was married and so dating others was a forbidden fruit. But we also considered that a lot of Korean guys probably wouldn't understand that, so maybe the simpler "I'm single" was better. Min-Ju pointed out that saying "permission" implied it was my permission rather than her power and right, so it should be "free to date." Ultimately, I told her it was her call and her decision. She smiled and said "good answer."

"Free to date" is better than "I have permission" or "I'm single" (I'm not big on lying in the first place, and if he thinks she's single it's a different dynamic). "My husband likes me to date" might be good, too.
 
I've read about "wife led marriage" before. Reading about that effect is one thing but now experiencing it, however moderately compared to others here, is really intense. I just really want to serve her. Even here on the forum I feel this weird need to answer every question and provide detail. The "wife led marriage" is something I've really wanted but I've been too nervous/embarrassed to bring it up. So I almost feel like my wife is reading my mind. We've played with denial a lot before (honor system only) but never for more than a few days. I don't know where Min-Ju became aware of cock cages. I've certainly never brought it up to her. So maybe she's been doing some research online? Reading up?

As for where she bought it, I can't think Korea has them for sale, so it seems like she must have bought it here. Which means she's been planning this. Which means it came packed in our luggage, waiting for me. Instead of bridal lingerie, she chose to lock me up!

Come to think of it, maybe the three weeks of no full sex was part of her tease? There were times we could have sneaked around on her parents but she didn't want to. (It could just be the awkwardness of sex in your childhood room.) But I know she's been super horny. At one point we even looked around in the storage closets in her old things for the Hitachi "personal massager" she used to have. We never found it; wouldn't have mattered anyway -- too loud.

All I know is yes, I'm in her chastity. And yes, she's super horny all the way over there in Korea and has already kissed a guy. And yes, we haven't even really consummated our wedding. And yes, it's going to be 5+ weeks before she's back. As for your question "what's your bet how many other guys will have been in her by 5+ weeks?" -- do I have to answer that?
 
All answers are optional. This is your life, your story, your decisions.
You are a very good writer. Your added details help the readers understand and respond to you better. And I bet your writing about the details helps you figure things out. More detail is a win-win for everyone.
 
Just had a quick IM session with Min-Ju before she had to go run some errands. Her art thing last night went well, which makes me happy. She sounded really excited about it. She said people were mostly nice and they had some interesting conversation. A couple of the women were weird to her, and one of the old guys (I guess the "big shot") acted like she didn't even exist. But the up-and-comer she's curating was nice and was excited for the show she's putting together over here. She said he bought her a dress as a thank you present. That seems a little odd to me, but Koreans are pretty serious about their gifts and propriety. I'm not sure how I feel about a man buying my wife a dress and her accepting it, even if this is just about hierarchy. She kind of dodged my question when I asked what it was like. All she said was "short." I'm guessing she feels awkward about it. She hates when her mother buys her clothes. Knowing Korea's obsession with luxury brands, it was probably expensive, too.
 
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Giving a woman one hardly knows a dress seems a little odd to my American ears. But, then say he wanted to get her something 'just for her' that she could pack in her luggage. A dress makes sense, but a purse would have been less personal. Either he knew her size?? or they shopped together. If so, they had some personal time together. Did she try it on for him? Did he push her into something sexier (shorter) than she would have picked without his insistence? Call me conspiratorial, but I feel some mild flirting occurred with the knowledge they would see each other again when the exhibit is installed. Perhaps they will go out after the exhibit opening to celebrate, likely with others, but not you. And who knows later after the party?
I think she is looking.
 
Hmm, things are changing here. He's invited her to an art opening tonight in Samcheong-dong (in Seoul). She's pretty excited to go. Her cousin says she should wear the dress to be polite and show her appreciation. Her cousin is rich, self-possessed, and very aware of conventional Korean expectations and hierarchy. I don't think she likes me too much as an American, even though she studied in the states too, so I feel especially vulnerable that she knows about my wife's permissions. She dates a lot, and was apparently especially amused by my wife's revelations. Anyway, her cousin says she has to wear the dress. And I'm expecting this to be a source of stress for her, so I start offering assurances that it's ok if she doesn't wear it and that she should wear what feels comfortable for her. But Min-Ju interrupts a little testy: "No, I'm wearing the dress." She quickly apologizes and says she's sorry, she just feels rushed because she's getting her hair done today, and has to have time to get dressed up and put her make-up on so she's not late "to his event."

That last phrase hits me in the gut a little. I had just assumed she was excited about the art opening, but the way she emphasized his event made it seem like she's excited to see him. I hadn't really considered him a potential source of her interest. He's older, he's got to be at least 30, and, well, I don't know. I'm starting to realize maybe I don't know my wife as well as I think.

I really hadn't considered this might be a dating situation, but maybe it is? I struggled with wanting to ask and to push her, but I didn't say anything. I'm trying to just let this be hers. We'll see. One thing I did realize is she's not wearing her ring and he doesn't know she's married. That definitely puts new light on his choice in buying her an expensive dress.

Whatever else, sometime tonight, in the early morning hours while I'm sleeping, she will be at an art opening in a fancy part of Seoul, wearing the dress another man got for her as a present, drinking wine and enjoying his company.
 
I think you should push her harder. Think about it, it is really the only control you have over the situation. If I were you, (and I wish I was right now lol) what I would do is to push her harder by laughing at how she is too chicken to do anything with strange men, and that you are starting to think all she is a scared little cock tease. Make it seem like you have this undeniable need to serve a total *****, but that she needs to live up to it. Telling her that she has to fuck every guy that tries to fuck her is a good start. It won't work right away, but it will shortly after, and trust me you will love the results :)
 
You should im her that she must do everything he tells her to. The rush you will feel from that will be amazing.
 
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