New boyfriend?
- Thread starterSoonToBe
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Steve,
Sue has always up to now treated Wednesdays as sacrosanct almost. Given the level of your conversations they are almost a superior bonding session that actual sex and a lot more dependable in terms of certainty in time. You need to communicate your need for this bonding even if your own love making sessions are being weaned away (how many do you think you have left now?). Has Sue indicated your usual event is cancelled or merely postponed? It is this that seems the more serious escalation to me.
Sue has always up to now treated Wednesdays as sacrosanct almost. Given the level of your conversations they are almost a superior bonding session that actual sex and a lot more dependable in terms of certainty in time. You need to communicate your need for this bonding even if your own love making sessions are being weaned away (how many do you think you have left now?). Has Sue indicated your usual event is cancelled or merely postponed? It is this that seems the more serious escalation to me.
Well, I got home a little bit ago - I admit it felt a little weird shopping for Sue knowing she's at Paul's. And now. it's quiet here and my 2nd beer is nearly gone which has lightened my mood.
She texted me earlier and again said she loved me and thanked me for being so good to her and then said she would call me before bed.
I admit it, I am wicked horny. When I sit and let my mind wander a bit I just have these intense thoughts and visions of her if you will. I think what it is though is that I know that she's reallly into it. In a way, I guess what I pushed into motion so long ago has now become the giant snowball at the bottom of the hill. Unless she's lying or is up for an academy award, I don't feel threatened by it. I'll put my psychology hat on and say that I think my admission of wanting to be the beta was partly what she needed. It seems that since then, things have accelerated and that she's become very accepting of what I think she shunned in the past.
It's weird because to me, sitting here alone in the house with a hard-on with a bit of a beer-buzz brewing, that when I think about it, when she was seeing Robert, she wanted this big emotional affair where she even admitted that she wanted to even fall in love with her boyfriend. But now, again, since my coming out to her, I haven't heard her mention emotions or even really felt it in anything she's said - but more so, it seems to be very sexually and physically oriented with her now. It's a little scary to think this way but maybe what she's really wanted was this - letting her boyfriend be the alpha for her. It seems crazy to me that in a way - if this is true - that in a way, it makes me want to give it to her even more. As Far2 and Squirm suggested, maybe she's truly seeing this as an intense sexual fulfillment for her, even when they're together, yes - I wince sometimes to say it but yes, they truly are making love - but as I am thinking back and letting myself take some time to think things through, her response to him is very physical but I don't see it as necessarily emotional.
I'm sure I'll read this back later and laugh at my buzz-induced thoughts but for now, all they've done is really get me horny! Even years later now, the thought of her screaming in pleasure beneath him in his bed is such a turn-on.
Peak - not sure how to answer your question. I am quite sure that Sue knows and expects that I'll be jerking-off tonight. I don't think it's necessarily a change other than of convenience as I know she values our time on Wednesdays as much as I do.
She texted me earlier and again said she loved me and thanked me for being so good to her and then said she would call me before bed.
I admit it, I am wicked horny. When I sit and let my mind wander a bit I just have these intense thoughts and visions of her if you will. I think what it is though is that I know that she's reallly into it. In a way, I guess what I pushed into motion so long ago has now become the giant snowball at the bottom of the hill. Unless she's lying or is up for an academy award, I don't feel threatened by it. I'll put my psychology hat on and say that I think my admission of wanting to be the beta was partly what she needed. It seems that since then, things have accelerated and that she's become very accepting of what I think she shunned in the past.
It's weird because to me, sitting here alone in the house with a hard-on with a bit of a beer-buzz brewing, that when I think about it, when she was seeing Robert, she wanted this big emotional affair where she even admitted that she wanted to even fall in love with her boyfriend. But now, again, since my coming out to her, I haven't heard her mention emotions or even really felt it in anything she's said - but more so, it seems to be very sexually and physically oriented with her now. It's a little scary to think this way but maybe what she's really wanted was this - letting her boyfriend be the alpha for her. It seems crazy to me that in a way - if this is true - that in a way, it makes me want to give it to her even more. As Far2 and Squirm suggested, maybe she's truly seeing this as an intense sexual fulfillment for her, even when they're together, yes - I wince sometimes to say it but yes, they truly are making love - but as I am thinking back and letting myself take some time to think things through, her response to him is very physical but I don't see it as necessarily emotional.
I'm sure I'll read this back later and laugh at my buzz-induced thoughts but for now, all they've done is really get me horny! Even years later now, the thought of her screaming in pleasure beneath him in his bed is such a turn-on.
Peak - not sure how to answer your question. I am quite sure that Sue knows and expects that I'll be jerking-off tonight. I don't think it's necessarily a change other than of convenience as I know she values our time on Wednesdays as much as I do.
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Steve it is good that you and Sue are touching base, communication is the key in this lifestyle as this does truly seem to be a shared experience for you both even when you two are not physically together during some of the adventures. Sue checking up on you to make sure that you are still doing OK with everything and letting you know that she is OK is reassuring. With the Holiday's you and Sue will have the next two weeks to connect, communicate and explore your mutual feelings and reaffirm your respective desires.
As always, thank you for sharing.
As always, thank you for sharing.
Yes, she even called me a little while ago. She wanted to hear my voice and wanted to hear me tell her I was okay. She asked if I was drinking and I told her I'd had some earlier and was feeling relaxed and okay and quite horny.
I guess I sounded convincing because she asked me if I was going to "go have fun soon" I joked back about how did she know I hadn't already and she answered "I know you...". I asked her if she was having a nice night and where Paul was. She said he went downstairs to give her some time to call me and before I could ask she said "yes, earlier tonight" and then she giggled when I guess I made a sound and she said in a sexy voice "we're not going to sleep just yet". I groaned and she asked me, now in a more concerned voice "you okay over there?". I took a second and said yes and then told her that I had now had something to think about later. She giggled and said that I already had plenty and then she said she loved me and when I said it back to her she said "okay, let me go now". I admit it hurt to say ok but I did and we both hung up.
And now, yes, I am going to go lie back and enjoy myself before I let any bad thoughts start to sneak in. Right now the thought of her getting up and ready with him is in some ways as arousing as thinking of her getting fucked again. That she's going to come home tomorrow in different clothes and different everything is so crazy to think about.
I guess I sounded convincing because she asked me if I was going to "go have fun soon" I joked back about how did she know I hadn't already and she answered "I know you...". I asked her if she was having a nice night and where Paul was. She said he went downstairs to give her some time to call me and before I could ask she said "yes, earlier tonight" and then she giggled when I guess I made a sound and she said in a sexy voice "we're not going to sleep just yet". I groaned and she asked me, now in a more concerned voice "you okay over there?". I took a second and said yes and then told her that I had now had something to think about later. She giggled and said that I already had plenty and then she said she loved me and when I said it back to her she said "okay, let me go now". I admit it hurt to say ok but I did and we both hung up.
And now, yes, I am going to go lie back and enjoy myself before I let any bad thoughts start to sneak in. Right now the thought of her getting up and ready with him is in some ways as arousing as thinking of her getting fucked again. That she's going to come home tomorrow in different clothes and different everything is so crazy to think about.
Sounds like you both are having fun. Sure maybe its a little lonely last.night but thats because you need to establish a new type of intimacy that is yours. I think you are still holding on to the thought or some part of you still year s to be sexual with her. The sooner you selarate that like she has the better this will be for you. I say skip the condoms and give her shat she wants, trade them for blowjobs or handjobs. Just my 2 cents.
Well, I haven't had this feeling in a long time now - waking up alone. I did sleep quite well, strangely, and yes, wow did I enjoy myself last night - twice! And even now, after all of that, my cock is throbbing thinking about her with Paul this morning. It's weird but in some ways it's all of the rest of the stuff other than just the sex part - that turns me on. Picturing her with him in his bathroom this morning - her standing there naked drying her hair and him doing his business right next to her. I don't know why that turns me on so much to think about.
Far2 - I am going to wait for a signal from Sue that is what she wants. Right now she's only said it in an offhand way and only a few times which is a bit contrary to other times she's told me she will still want to have some sexual interaction with me. I AM coming to terms with understanding that this is more of a "when" than an "if".
Far2 - I am going to wait for a signal from Sue that is what she wants. Right now she's only said it in an offhand way and only a few times which is a bit contrary to other times she's told me she will still want to have some sexual interaction with me. I AM coming to terms with understanding that this is more of a "when" than an "if".
Steve it is good to hear that you are doing well this morning as Sue’s evening nears its end with Paul. You and Sue will have the next couple of weeks together and family, having only what I can imagine will be in-depth conversations about the experiences, desires, feelings and overall direction moving forward. Your correct, for men like you and I, the overall experience excites us in ways that most men will not understand and others could never accept. There is a wide range of beliefs, desires, interest, needs and understanding by many with this lifestyle spectrum. For some of us, it is much more then the sharing of the physical sexual side, it is also the sharing of the level of intimacy that the wife shares with her alpha man when they develop and have a true connection together. While this may or may not include deep emotions it does include some level of emotions and feelings which enhances the experience for everyone involved.
If Paul is “Mr. Right” with consideration to the next evolution within your relationship, for your mutual lifestyle choice that you have made with Sue, than you are correct, it is likely a matter of when you and Sue take it to the next level with her becoming more or less exclusive with Paul from a sexually penetrative perspective. I would not think this would keep you and Sue from maintaining all other aspects of intimacy, maybe she will allow you to give her oral from time to time.
Looking forward to heading more in the coming weeks as you two have your upcoming conversations. Thank you for all of the sharing that you have done over the years.
If Paul is “Mr. Right” with consideration to the next evolution within your relationship, for your mutual lifestyle choice that you have made with Sue, than you are correct, it is likely a matter of when you and Sue take it to the next level with her becoming more or less exclusive with Paul from a sexually penetrative perspective. I would not think this would keep you and Sue from maintaining all other aspects of intimacy, maybe she will allow you to give her oral from time to time.
Looking forward to heading more in the coming weeks as you two have your upcoming conversations. Thank you for all of the sharing that you have done over the years.
SoonToBe said:
WOAH! Steve, was this a ‘slip of the pen’ while you were under the influence of a ‘couple beers’?
Does this mean that this has all been in ‘retrospect,’ that you are re-living and writing from what has happened years ago, and fitting it into present time?
I ask, not out of my doubt, but because I have been asked by those looking for a reason to doubt your aucentisity.
I would rather think not, but ask only for clarification.
Cheers, harry
No Harry - I see how my wording was weird - it was my trying to say that "years from now you'll look back on this and....." that was the spirit of the thought, apparently between the brain and the paper the clarity was lost.
lol
Far2 - as you said, yeah, I'm looking forward to the next few weeks to sort things out more fully for the both of us. She'll still be seeing Paul occasionally and I'd even had the fleeting thought of maybe going with her to his place, but I know and I think she knows too that the this is a time more for us and for us to be sure of things. At least that's what I will be wanting.
lol
Far2 - as you said, yeah, I'm looking forward to the next few weeks to sort things out more fully for the both of us. She'll still be seeing Paul occasionally and I'd even had the fleeting thought of maybe going with her to his place, but I know and I think she knows too that the this is a time more for us and for us to be sure of things. At least that's what I will be wanting.
I usually would not want to ‘take up space’ with portions of my own experiences, But as one who has read and contributed from the beginning, and before you begin a new thread, I will offer that I have indeed lived some of what ‘Paul’ has. And if that will help some understand the feasibility of what Steve writes, I, and perhaps he, will be gratified. I remember this well, but will not go into as much detail as I could. Steve, you may recall me telling you a little about this, by way of explaining that I have experienced both sides, and how quickly it can escalate.
Some 30 years ago, (before cell phones and internet) I made contact with a couple in Yuma Az. and on Good Fri. of that year, drove the 4 hours to their home. When I arrived she took me out to lunch, and showed me around town while we got better acquainted, finally stopping in at her husbands real-estate office so he, and I could meet in person and establish what they and I wished to do.
She was a beautiful woman, and had certainly established her acceptance of me and wish not only for sex, but to stay all night. I was indeed more than willing to comply.
When he closed his office we went out to dinner, which he paid for. After more talking we went to their home.
When the time came that we went to their bedroom, I ‘had’ her, then he ‘had’ her, (after cleanup duty) and I ‘had’ her again. Sometime during my second time with her, he disappeared, leaving her and I together in their bed for the night. Counting all, I fucked her 5 times, by morning, including in the shower with her bent forward, and me entering from behind. She was not only lovely but very good, which is how I can relate to Paul’s abandon of any thought of Steve while he is with Sue.
After breakfast, they expressed the desire that I stay the entire Easter weekend. I was pleased by their request, but hadn’t expected so much, so quickly. I had to call a girlfriend (remember no cell phones) to see if she still wanted to go hiking Sunday morning.
Obviously, using their phone to place that call was the ‘deal breaker’ and I never saw them again, But, Yes, though there are some things I question, the feasibility of Paul ‘staying the night’ at your home, then Sue ‘staying the night’ at his home, only 4 days later, I cannot dispute.
Cheers, Harry
Some 30 years ago, (before cell phones and internet) I made contact with a couple in Yuma Az. and on Good Fri. of that year, drove the 4 hours to their home. When I arrived she took me out to lunch, and showed me around town while we got better acquainted, finally stopping in at her husbands real-estate office so he, and I could meet in person and establish what they and I wished to do.
She was a beautiful woman, and had certainly established her acceptance of me and wish not only for sex, but to stay all night. I was indeed more than willing to comply.
When he closed his office we went out to dinner, which he paid for. After more talking we went to their home.
When the time came that we went to their bedroom, I ‘had’ her, then he ‘had’ her, (after cleanup duty) and I ‘had’ her again. Sometime during my second time with her, he disappeared, leaving her and I together in their bed for the night. Counting all, I fucked her 5 times, by morning, including in the shower with her bent forward, and me entering from behind. She was not only lovely but very good, which is how I can relate to Paul’s abandon of any thought of Steve while he is with Sue.
After breakfast, they expressed the desire that I stay the entire Easter weekend. I was pleased by their request, but hadn’t expected so much, so quickly. I had to call a girlfriend (remember no cell phones) to see if she still wanted to go hiking Sunday morning.
Obviously, using their phone to place that call was the ‘deal breaker’ and I never saw them again, But, Yes, though there are some things I question, the feasibility of Paul ‘staying the night’ at your home, then Sue ‘staying the night’ at his home, only 4 days later, I cannot dispute.
Cheers, Harry
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Harry - believe me, had we not had our kids coming home with a corresponding curtailing of her/our fun, I would have put up a bit more resistance to the idea. But then again, had they not been coming home, I am equally confident that Sue wouldn't have asked/pushed for it to happen.
And yes Harry, thanks for posting that the intensity and spontaneity that we experience like this isn't unique to us or this time only. I can so empathize with what you posted, thanks.
And yes Harry, thanks for posting that the intensity and spontaneity that we experience like this isn't unique to us or this time only. I can so empathize with what you posted, thanks.
Steve, About Sue's overnight stay at Paul's condo, I predicted to another of your readers early on, that it would happen, and it has.
Now that it has, the next forseeable step, since she will have a reserve of work, and other clothing there is that she will want to spend several consecutive nights with Paul. Besides her comfort in sleeping with him, is the closer proximity to work, and her dislike of driving in snowy weather.
How are going to deal with her being away from you and home for 3, maybe 4 nights during a week?
Cheers, Harry
Now that it has, the next forseeable step, since she will have a reserve of work, and other clothing there is that she will want to spend several consecutive nights with Paul. Besides her comfort in sleeping with him, is the closer proximity to work, and her dislike of driving in snowy weather.
How are going to deal with her being away from you and home for 3, maybe 4 nights during a week?
Cheers, Harry
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Harry2614 said:
Steve, Harry does have a point within his post. As you know within the lifestyle choice this has always been a risk and or part of the excitement depending on your perspective. It would seem that we are all looking forward to reading the outcome of recent events and the follow up open conversation between you and Sue during the mutual reflection.
SoonToBe said:
Mindblowing - what an amazingly hot thing to say! And what an amazing gesture that would be to make...
SoonToBe said:
I think that this is the inevitable product of the best and strongest cuckold relationships. As the degree of sexual contact declines, many other ostensibly innocent gestures take on another level of meaning altogether.
***
Speaking of 'declining' sexual contact, I thought that I might add a suggestion – probably the Nth time you've heard it by now – that you might like to incorporate some play with a chastity device when Sue eventually 'takes a break'. While many, both on this forum and elsewhere, frequently talk about weeks or months in chastity – not something that would appeal to you, if I've read you correctly – there's also nothing wrong with chastity play in which you're let out every night.
What I think that this would allow for is a degree of sexual intimacy between you and your wife, even when your not being conventionally sexual with one another. Giving over access to your wife's whims, even if there's an unspoken understanding that you get out every night, can be a very intimate exchange. Imagine, for example, when your wife is staying overnight with her lover, waiting with baited breath for her phone call – not just to hear how she's doing, but also to have tell you where she's hidden the key for your device...
Anyway, food for thought. Thanks, as always, for continuing to share your story!
Jwff - at times I understand the appeal of chastity, but it isn't something that either of us are into. She's never mentioned it other than long ago now and I have excellent self-control that I don't need anything to keep my desires under control. If anything, I'm clearly aware that my arousal and desires while waiting for her in whatever way certainly intensifies over time - but that's also where she wants and has made it quite clear that she wants me to be able to enjoy those desires and that arousal when I want to.
But that ties into her definite enjoyment knowing that this past Wedesday night that as I lay in bed that she knew I was enjoying it even if I felt other feelings. And she made it clear that she enjoyed knowing I was masturbating to thoughts about her. She giggled at one point and said that she feels incredibly flattered now knowing that so much of what I masturbate to in my head are different visions of her. I had to laugh with her when I think about other guys who fantasize about movie-stars or models or even sexy-coworkers - but me - no, I get off on visions of Sue doing all sorts of things, but it's always her and she found that very touching when she realized what I was saying about her.
And yes, Harry, the writing is on the wall, especially after she came home and we talked more on Thursday. So, maybe it's better that I share things in order. I was quite horny on Thursday as I was still home after having spent the night alone. I'd seen Harry's and other posts and PM's to me that all said that Sue's comment about leaving some clothes at Paul's was very telling. I knew it was, but I also knew that this was something she was going to want - eventually - again, it's stuff that I thought was going to take a bit longer to get to - so that became the main focus of our discussion over the past 2 days.
So as I said, when she came home I was very horny and seeing her wearing and looking different than how she'd left the day before really struck me. She always says it's our water (we have I guess very hard water) that elsewhere (or if there's a water-softener) her hair will just look different - that, her makeup and what she was wearing - oh my god did it turn me on to see her come in the door. She had on that dress that I'd seen her take with her. I eagerly followed her up to the bedroom and she asked me to help unzip her - and oh my god if that didn't get me hard and horny and so remind me of a similar time I'd felt the same thing - knowing that her lover had helped her dress and likely zipped it up for her. I swear seeing the dress fall off her shoulders and seeing her bare skin and then, the bra and panties that she'd taken. But honestly - what got me the horniest was seeing something that I hadn't seen in ages - the outline of a panty-liner in her panties - and the immediate knowledge that she had it to absorb Paul's cum from earlier that morning and the night before - it had me rock hard!!! I was so hoping to throw her on the bed but she looked at me and my hard cock and smiled and said "I know you're horny baby, but I'm hungry, can we get some dinner first?".
I can't even remember what we had - steaks on the bbq I guess - and as they cooked and I came in and out off the deck to warm up, she told me a little about her night. As we waited I remember at one point she came up to me and pulled me against her and we kissed and she looked up at me and said "can I tell you everything or should I stay away from the icky parts for you?" and she smiled and kissed me and then patted my butt and sent me out to bring in the steaks.
We had a glass of wine with dinner and then we sat in the living room for a while and she said we should talk before going upstairs because she knew I'd never "just talk" up there. She kissed me and she asked me again if she should tell me everything or skip the icky parts? I asked her what an icky part would be and she said "you know, something that you are uncomfortable hearing but was something I enjoyed". I sounded brave and said I could take it and then she said, "okay, how about how I was kissing him while I felt him cum in me?" I guess my silence for a moment said everything to her because she said "see, that's what I mean". I asked her what she meant and she said something like "that makes you feel uncomfortable, doesn't it". I guess I nodded my head but then said "but it turns me on too".
Well, that and her response started the discussion that we're still going on about. She said that she doesn't want to make me uncomfortable and that is partly where she always feels a bit of reluctance herself. I told her that I thought it was somewhat of a natural response and she agreed but she added that it's not how I should feel as the 'beta' person I wanted to be. We talked a bit in circles for a moment until she said to me that she is feeling more that what she expressed to me as wanting to have a whole-big affair - that she now thinks may really be more in line with what I have said.
Again I sometimes wonder if she is reading what I post here or if one of her pen-pals tells her things because the next things she said to me were that she is now thinking that what she had thought she wanted as an affair, that she thinks she now wants to feel like her boyfriend is truly taking the alpha role with her. And over the past 2 days she's said other things that people here have posted in addition to what I've said. Of course she hasn't said it exactly the same and has said them with her own flavor/flair but she came out and said that she would like to eventually have her sexual desires fulfilled by Paul. It brought me to come out and say that I thought it was all happening very fast - her staying over at his place and now talking about leaving clothes there - and now, talk about fulfilling the alpha/beta situation of her own desire when it was me that seemed to be the start of that discussion.
I didn't ask her about her pen-pals. There's little I post here now that would surprise her especially after these past few days now.
At some point on Thursday as if to make a point she turned to me and asked me if it turned me on that she still felt very warm and horny from spending the night with Paul and, making no question of it, telling me that they'd fucked before she'd gone off to work. I told her an obvious yes. She smiled and then said that she KNEW it would turn me on if she told me that she didn't want to have sex with me. I asked her how she knew and she leaned over and cupped my hard cock through my pants and said "because it does". I looked at her and she smiled and I knew for sure right then that we weren't going to fuck and I knew that she knew it turned me on.
She looked at me and said that I needed to come to accept my desire and stop letting myself be uncomfortable at what has to be. At one point she said something like "if you are my beta, then Paul WILL be my alpha" and that's when she went on to say that nothing is happening right now and that she is wanting to make sure about me before going much further. I asked her what she meant and she said that 'for now' that she just wants to know that she CAN spend the night at his place and that she only wants to leave just a few things there - like some extra panties, some stockings and she giggled and added "some panty liners" and laughed out loud. I told her that it sounded like she was moving in there tomorrow (exaggerating, yes) and she smiled and then said "no, that won't be till the summer maybe" and then she added "lets just see how everything works out" - and then she said "starting with New Years Eve".
The mood had shifted and I wasn't sure what was going to happen with our evening. "So I can tell you everything?" and when I nodded yes she asked "can I tease you?". I asked her what she meant and she giggled and said "well..." and with that she unbuttoned and unzipped my pants and pulled out my rapidly hardening cock. She looked up at me and gave my cock a tug and said "well, should I tease you with how Paul gets to fuck me while I am playing with you?". And to my surprise she looked up at me and said "should I tell you how he feels in me while I do this?" and all of a sudden she leaned over and took my cock in her mouth and gently sucked at me. "Mmmmm" I groaned back and she continued to talk and said "you just lean back and I'll take care of you" and she sucked me in her mouth again and then said something like "while I tell you how Paul and I made love last night".
Well, I can't recall much more of her exact words because in between each sentence she would stroke and then gently suck at my cock. When I was fully hard in her hand she told me "there, that's about how hard he was too" and after that she began to suck me more rapidly. "I'm all wet still" "he was so wonderful in me" and stuff like that she would say in between each time she'd suck me more deeply. But towards the very end she looked up at me and said "I like it just feeling his cum in me" and she sucked me just a bit more but I think she knew I was about to burst because she never let up and I guess she could tell because just as I was about to let go I saw her eyes look up at me and the look in them was just so intense that I closed mine and I let it happen. She eagerly sucked at me as I felt jet after jet, spurt after spurt fill her mouth. Her hand stroking at the same time and gently cradling my nuts and then gently squeezing them until I couldn't cum any more and she let my now shriveled cock out of her mouth. I thought she was done but a second later I felt the bed move and as I opened my eyes, there she was moving in to kiss me. In the instant before we kissed I realized we were about to snowball and I loved the thought. Our tongues danced and spread my very tart tasting cum between our mouths and I felt her moaning. A moment later I could tell she was moving her tongue and pushing all of it into my mouth. I didn't mind and swallowed a moment later.
I will say she surprised me last night, when after and despite our continued alpha/beta discussion, that last night she offered me a quickie with her before bed. She kissed me and did tease me that this was "one more and only 4 or 5 more times". Damn did that make me horny and as we started to fuck she looked at me and said "you'd better really start enjoying these last few times". I surely did!!!!
But what I really wanted to put out there is the discussion we had after sex last night. She again came out and said that I needed to accept that if I want to be the beta, that I need to start accepting that her sexual desires ARE going to be fulfilled with Paul. She held my hand and asked if it was pushing it when she suggested that maybe "by summer we can try a bit more, what do you think?" and she looked at me and asked me if I thought I might be ready to try out being more of a beta by summer. I asked her what that meant and she said "that it might maybe just be me and Paul by then?..... you know, with you not doing anything with me". I told her that I wasn't sure I could answer that to which she shushed me and kissed me and said "okay, lets just do it as we are and we'll decide together along the way". She held my hands and again repeated that she doesn't think any less of me or love me any less because something like this turns me on and that I should try to work on not feeling so uncomfortable and to just accept that it's what I want to have happen and to let it.
Of course she turned to me after that and said "now, if you aren't sure baby, that's okay too ...... but you need to let me know that soon too baby as I don't want it to be unfair to Paul" and she looked at me and said "that's why I really want you to tell him, so that it's clear to all of us" and then she said "and of course, I am taking New Years eve to be the other part" and that for her, if I accept going back to condoms, that it's also a clearer sign from me to her that says more than what I can say through my words at times.
So yes, the train is continuing to run down the tracks. I won't say I'm not nervous or hesitant or even a bit scared. But I also think she's right. The one thing she's said that others have also told me is that if I do want this - whether it's something I want forever or just something that I want to experience for a short(er) period of time - that if being the beta-man for Sue is what I want, then I need to stop fighting it. I guess I need to eventually stop expecting to have sex with her when she comes home or after she's been with Paul and in the short term - demonstrate my desires by willingly using condoms with her as planned. And yes, I guess the reality is that, at some point it will happen fully - that she'll want to only be with him. I'm excited by the idea of finally experiencing it, but yes, at the same time I'm a bit green about it too.
But that ties into her definite enjoyment knowing that this past Wedesday night that as I lay in bed that she knew I was enjoying it even if I felt other feelings. And she made it clear that she enjoyed knowing I was masturbating to thoughts about her. She giggled at one point and said that she feels incredibly flattered now knowing that so much of what I masturbate to in my head are different visions of her. I had to laugh with her when I think about other guys who fantasize about movie-stars or models or even sexy-coworkers - but me - no, I get off on visions of Sue doing all sorts of things, but it's always her and she found that very touching when she realized what I was saying about her.
And yes, Harry, the writing is on the wall, especially after she came home and we talked more on Thursday. So, maybe it's better that I share things in order. I was quite horny on Thursday as I was still home after having spent the night alone. I'd seen Harry's and other posts and PM's to me that all said that Sue's comment about leaving some clothes at Paul's was very telling. I knew it was, but I also knew that this was something she was going to want - eventually - again, it's stuff that I thought was going to take a bit longer to get to - so that became the main focus of our discussion over the past 2 days.
So as I said, when she came home I was very horny and seeing her wearing and looking different than how she'd left the day before really struck me. She always says it's our water (we have I guess very hard water) that elsewhere (or if there's a water-softener) her hair will just look different - that, her makeup and what she was wearing - oh my god did it turn me on to see her come in the door. She had on that dress that I'd seen her take with her. I eagerly followed her up to the bedroom and she asked me to help unzip her - and oh my god if that didn't get me hard and horny and so remind me of a similar time I'd felt the same thing - knowing that her lover had helped her dress and likely zipped it up for her. I swear seeing the dress fall off her shoulders and seeing her bare skin and then, the bra and panties that she'd taken. But honestly - what got me the horniest was seeing something that I hadn't seen in ages - the outline of a panty-liner in her panties - and the immediate knowledge that she had it to absorb Paul's cum from earlier that morning and the night before - it had me rock hard!!! I was so hoping to throw her on the bed but she looked at me and my hard cock and smiled and said "I know you're horny baby, but I'm hungry, can we get some dinner first?".
I can't even remember what we had - steaks on the bbq I guess - and as they cooked and I came in and out off the deck to warm up, she told me a little about her night. As we waited I remember at one point she came up to me and pulled me against her and we kissed and she looked up at me and said "can I tell you everything or should I stay away from the icky parts for you?" and she smiled and kissed me and then patted my butt and sent me out to bring in the steaks.
We had a glass of wine with dinner and then we sat in the living room for a while and she said we should talk before going upstairs because she knew I'd never "just talk" up there. She kissed me and she asked me again if she should tell me everything or skip the icky parts? I asked her what an icky part would be and she said "you know, something that you are uncomfortable hearing but was something I enjoyed". I sounded brave and said I could take it and then she said, "okay, how about how I was kissing him while I felt him cum in me?" I guess my silence for a moment said everything to her because she said "see, that's what I mean". I asked her what she meant and she said something like "that makes you feel uncomfortable, doesn't it". I guess I nodded my head but then said "but it turns me on too".
Well, that and her response started the discussion that we're still going on about. She said that she doesn't want to make me uncomfortable and that is partly where she always feels a bit of reluctance herself. I told her that I thought it was somewhat of a natural response and she agreed but she added that it's not how I should feel as the 'beta' person I wanted to be. We talked a bit in circles for a moment until she said to me that she is feeling more that what she expressed to me as wanting to have a whole-big affair - that she now thinks may really be more in line with what I have said.
Again I sometimes wonder if she is reading what I post here or if one of her pen-pals tells her things because the next things she said to me were that she is now thinking that what she had thought she wanted as an affair, that she thinks she now wants to feel like her boyfriend is truly taking the alpha role with her. And over the past 2 days she's said other things that people here have posted in addition to what I've said. Of course she hasn't said it exactly the same and has said them with her own flavor/flair but she came out and said that she would like to eventually have her sexual desires fulfilled by Paul. It brought me to come out and say that I thought it was all happening very fast - her staying over at his place and now talking about leaving clothes there - and now, talk about fulfilling the alpha/beta situation of her own desire when it was me that seemed to be the start of that discussion.
I didn't ask her about her pen-pals. There's little I post here now that would surprise her especially after these past few days now.
At some point on Thursday as if to make a point she turned to me and asked me if it turned me on that she still felt very warm and horny from spending the night with Paul and, making no question of it, telling me that they'd fucked before she'd gone off to work. I told her an obvious yes. She smiled and then said that she KNEW it would turn me on if she told me that she didn't want to have sex with me. I asked her how she knew and she leaned over and cupped my hard cock through my pants and said "because it does". I looked at her and she smiled and I knew for sure right then that we weren't going to fuck and I knew that she knew it turned me on.
She looked at me and said that I needed to come to accept my desire and stop letting myself be uncomfortable at what has to be. At one point she said something like "if you are my beta, then Paul WILL be my alpha" and that's when she went on to say that nothing is happening right now and that she is wanting to make sure about me before going much further. I asked her what she meant and she said that 'for now' that she just wants to know that she CAN spend the night at his place and that she only wants to leave just a few things there - like some extra panties, some stockings and she giggled and added "some panty liners" and laughed out loud. I told her that it sounded like she was moving in there tomorrow (exaggerating, yes) and she smiled and then said "no, that won't be till the summer maybe" and then she added "lets just see how everything works out" - and then she said "starting with New Years Eve".
The mood had shifted and I wasn't sure what was going to happen with our evening. "So I can tell you everything?" and when I nodded yes she asked "can I tease you?". I asked her what she meant and she giggled and said "well..." and with that she unbuttoned and unzipped my pants and pulled out my rapidly hardening cock. She looked up at me and gave my cock a tug and said "well, should I tease you with how Paul gets to fuck me while I am playing with you?". And to my surprise she looked up at me and said "should I tell you how he feels in me while I do this?" and all of a sudden she leaned over and took my cock in her mouth and gently sucked at me. "Mmmmm" I groaned back and she continued to talk and said "you just lean back and I'll take care of you" and she sucked me in her mouth again and then said something like "while I tell you how Paul and I made love last night".
Well, I can't recall much more of her exact words because in between each sentence she would stroke and then gently suck at my cock. When I was fully hard in her hand she told me "there, that's about how hard he was too" and after that she began to suck me more rapidly. "I'm all wet still" "he was so wonderful in me" and stuff like that she would say in between each time she'd suck me more deeply. But towards the very end she looked up at me and said "I like it just feeling his cum in me" and she sucked me just a bit more but I think she knew I was about to burst because she never let up and I guess she could tell because just as I was about to let go I saw her eyes look up at me and the look in them was just so intense that I closed mine and I let it happen. She eagerly sucked at me as I felt jet after jet, spurt after spurt fill her mouth. Her hand stroking at the same time and gently cradling my nuts and then gently squeezing them until I couldn't cum any more and she let my now shriveled cock out of her mouth. I thought she was done but a second later I felt the bed move and as I opened my eyes, there she was moving in to kiss me. In the instant before we kissed I realized we were about to snowball and I loved the thought. Our tongues danced and spread my very tart tasting cum between our mouths and I felt her moaning. A moment later I could tell she was moving her tongue and pushing all of it into my mouth. I didn't mind and swallowed a moment later.
I will say she surprised me last night, when after and despite our continued alpha/beta discussion, that last night she offered me a quickie with her before bed. She kissed me and did tease me that this was "one more and only 4 or 5 more times". Damn did that make me horny and as we started to fuck she looked at me and said "you'd better really start enjoying these last few times". I surely did!!!!
But what I really wanted to put out there is the discussion we had after sex last night. She again came out and said that I needed to accept that if I want to be the beta, that I need to start accepting that her sexual desires ARE going to be fulfilled with Paul. She held my hand and asked if it was pushing it when she suggested that maybe "by summer we can try a bit more, what do you think?" and she looked at me and asked me if I thought I might be ready to try out being more of a beta by summer. I asked her what that meant and she said "that it might maybe just be me and Paul by then?..... you know, with you not doing anything with me". I told her that I wasn't sure I could answer that to which she shushed me and kissed me and said "okay, lets just do it as we are and we'll decide together along the way". She held my hands and again repeated that she doesn't think any less of me or love me any less because something like this turns me on and that I should try to work on not feeling so uncomfortable and to just accept that it's what I want to have happen and to let it.
Of course she turned to me after that and said "now, if you aren't sure baby, that's okay too ...... but you need to let me know that soon too baby as I don't want it to be unfair to Paul" and she looked at me and said "that's why I really want you to tell him, so that it's clear to all of us" and then she said "and of course, I am taking New Years eve to be the other part" and that for her, if I accept going back to condoms, that it's also a clearer sign from me to her that says more than what I can say through my words at times.
So yes, the train is continuing to run down the tracks. I won't say I'm not nervous or hesitant or even a bit scared. But I also think she's right. The one thing she's said that others have also told me is that if I do want this - whether it's something I want forever or just something that I want to experience for a short(er) period of time - that if being the beta-man for Sue is what I want, then I need to stop fighting it. I guess I need to eventually stop expecting to have sex with her when she comes home or after she's been with Paul and in the short term - demonstrate my desires by willingly using condoms with her as planned. And yes, I guess the reality is that, at some point it will happen fully - that she'll want to only be with him. I'm excited by the idea of finally experiencing it, but yes, at the same time I'm a bit green about it too.
STB
I know this is jumping ahead some, but you posted Sue had said that she may move in with Paul this summer.
how does that make you feel, and what about the kids , want they be at home then.
so if she does move in with him is it for aweek at a time or does she want it to be. for the hole summer andis becouse the kids will not be coming home at that time.
so it sound's like you and sue need to talk alot more about that as this goes foeward now.
well all i can say is take a hold of it and hang on and have fun with it if that is what you want.
stay happy and keep us posted.
I know this is jumping ahead some, but you posted Sue had said that she may move in with Paul this summer.
how does that make you feel, and what about the kids , want they be at home then.
so if she does move in with him is it for aweek at a time or does she want it to be. for the hole summer andis becouse the kids will not be coming home at that time.
so it sound's like you and sue need to talk alot more about that as this goes foeward now.
well all i can say is take a hold of it and hang on and have fun with it if that is what you want.
stay happy and keep us posted.
- Status
