Hurrah! My final post and a “NEWSFLASH” for the morbidly curious.
OK Muleman, I will happily comply with your “request” to knock it off unless specifically and clearly invited to say something. I take it back, I’ll knock it off period, I too have had enough. I’m not sure why exercising your option to simply “change the channel” and not read what you already know you don’t want to read won’t work for you, but no matter. Maybe it’s a bit like a car wreck, for some morbid reason we just have to look. Regardless, I expect you are done looking now and I’m done with the frank, preaching, professor act you are unable to tolerate. You may not believe me but I feel your pain and am sorry if I caused too much of it, both for you and any others feeling the same. I ask that in exchange for readily honoring your perfectly valid request in giving you my silence on this you forgive one last post. The tone is not serious, it’s meant to be humor so I hope you can grant me this. Sorry, I couldn’t get on line and wrote it while waiting for my connection to return, otherwise I wouldn’t bother. I just can’t waste it, you know it’s like when you get really, really hard and just have to squirt. Like when a really hot white wife is dressed in heels, nylons and that sheer, wispy nothing for a top and she is absolutely in love with your cock, so much so that she is making a complete slut of herself in front of her pussy husband who just sits there while she worships your hot, throbbing, over sized cock. You know that feeling you get when you’re just about to unload all over the slut’s face and you know she won’t clean it off, but wears it home with hubby and makes him clean it off for her? You know, it’s kind of like that. There, I found a way to contribute. I hope that buys enough of your grace for this last tidbit.
I sincerely hope that despite the frustrations many of us have over world affairs, and any that I may have added, that there are no hard feelings. I have none. That said, please change the channel or risk this last post. I expect I sound as ridiculous to some of you as the CEO below sounds to me. Life is funny isn’t, is it a picture of a pretty girl or an old lady, two people about to kiss or a vase? Difficult to say sometimes.
AP Wire - This just in.
A start up company called “Anomaly” is going public tomorrow. Shares of Anomaly will be selling on the NASDAQ under the ticker TADA. Founder and CEO of the new company Dick M. Asse, affectionately called “Big” by his friends, says he expects trading to go wild at the open with shares of TADA selling like hotcakes, at least in America.
The new company is founded on a revolutionary discovery, overlooked in the aftermath of 911, until now that is. D. M. Asse says he got the idea for his new company from casually talking with friends, reading a couple of stories and looking at pictures he happened to see relating to the public debate over 911 and the surrounding conspiracy theories. “One day the light just went on” exclaims Mr. Asse. “My buddy Joe and I were sitting around one night, it started out just like most evenings, having a few beers too many if you know what I mean”, says Mr. Asse laughing with a boy’s impish charm. “We were talking the usual horseshit, like could Superman take Batman and stuff like that, when all of a sudden like it dawns on me, you know. Those engineer guys with all their fancy education, degrees and such are just a bunch of morons. The collapse of the twin towers on 911 once and for all proved you don’t need all that so called ‘science and engineering’ nonsense to make really complex structures like skyscrapers and stuff fall down in a perfectly controlled fashion, you know so that they fall all nice-like into their own footprint” he continues. “All you gotta do is have some kind of explosion near the top of the building that is big enough to take out maybe 10-15 percent of its cross section. You know, Joe and I didn’t even know what ‘cross section’ meant until we got busy studying on this” he embarrassedly admits with a chuckle. “Hell, 911 proved the blast doesn’t even need to be placed in the center or even be symmetrical in any way. Even I would have thought it would need to be perfectly in the center on practically every sort of building, you know, so it would fall straight down and not topple towards the side having all the damage … no matter how it was constructed. But, if a randomly placed explosion can neatly bring down one tower, and then be repeated with the same results like it did on 911, that’s good enough for me” he confidently exclaims. “But just to be sure, we’re going to place the charges as close to the center as we can”, he quickly adds with only the slightest hint of a disquieting unease.
When asked how he came up with the TADA ticker symbol Mr. Asse replied, “I wanted something that captured the feeling I had that very first moment I came up the idea, but something with my name all over it that included my family as well. I have a big family, seven kids and the little woman of course, that makes nine of us in all. Somehow I just came up with ‘TADA’. If you say it Ta-Da, you know like ‘Ta-Da I just did something wonderful’ it totally captures that eureka moment feeling I had. I decided TADA would stand for ‘The Asse-nine Demolition Anomaly’, so now that’s the official name of the company. I just know the name is a really good fit somehow”.
The revolutionary new technique Anomaly will be using to conduct controlled demolitions is expected to cut demolition costs by over 90 percent. Many industry insiders are at a complete loss as to why no one has ever thought of this before. “This is utterly revolutionary in the industry …” writes ‘DIY Boom-Booms’ magazine, “… and already most of our lifetime subscribers from the not-so-major to the ‘now you see them now you don’t variety’ of demolition contractors scrambling to play catch up because of the enormous potential for vastly improved profit margins”.
Hoping to send shares of TADA skyrocketing at the market open, Anomaly plans to bring down their first building with an event that will undoubtedly be one for the history books. The ‘DIY Boom-Booms’ sponsored kick-off gala will take place in the town of Moronia with the town mayor, a true and native born Moronian himself, leading the festivities. So confident of this new technology is the mayor, he says they will be bringing down the old Sky-Hi Hotel located in the center of town and tightly nestled between the old, old folks’ home, the new children’s hospital and the recently expanded day care center. “It will be a most memorable event for sure, history in the making that can forever be attributed to the proud citizens of Moronia. I dare say it may well prove to be our defining moment, our finest hour, representing the essence of what it means to be a true Moronian”, proclaims the mayor.
End of Wire -
Follow up – NASDAQ trading was halted today on shares of TADA shortly after the market open when a major tragedy was reported in the town of Moronia. Just moments before the tragedy occurred, Anomaly CEO “Big” Asse was heard to say, “Here, hold my beer and watch this …”. Story developing ….
Pretty funny, huh? Please forgive me everyone, I’m obviously out of my cotton-pickin mind. Bdee-Bdee-Bdee … that’s all folks!
I’m done Super-Moderator Mule, thanks for your patience and for allowing this post, I hope.