A recent incident involving my wife
- Thread starterMKerr
- Start date
Status of my relationship with her has changed quite a bit. We do spend time together like watching TV, dinner, etc. but she also spends time by herself. For example, two nights ago at 8pm she said that she needs to talk to Hakkim at 8:30 and left the living room. I heard the bedroom door closing. At around 9:10, I heard water in the bath and then I think she slept around 10. The door was closed and next I saw her in the morning. She was wearing a red camisole, we had breakfast together and then I left for work. When I came back, she wasn’t at home. She came back after 2 hours.
However, last night was different. We watched TV together until 9 and then slept in the same room. She didn’t sleep naked and we didn’t have sex but she gave me a few nice kisses.
There is no consistency and I do what she tells me to do. I am not locked out of the bedroom exclusively but she locks the room when she needs her space. Her friend circle has changed as well…I will share more on that in a bit
However, last night was different. We watched TV together until 9 and then slept in the same room. She didn’t sleep naked and we didn’t have sex but she gave me a few nice kisses.
There is no consistency and I do what she tells me to do. I am not locked out of the bedroom exclusively but she locks the room when she needs her space. Her friend circle has changed as well…I will share more on that in a bit
His chat with me was very clear. Give her alone time when she wants or asks, don’t meddle in talks between them, don’t make surprising remarks on her clothing/dresses (like never say “wow, never saw you like this before”), not kicking me out of bedroom exclusively but don’t assume it is for granted every time.
He has introduced her to someone and they met on Saturday. Don’t know her name or how Hakkim knows her
He has introduced her to someone and they met on Saturday. Don’t know her name or how Hakkim knows her
Yes, he finally got his physical ownership of her last week
I came home at 4 and I saw room door closed which was unusual as she is mostly locked after dinner. I didn’t bother her and checked my phone to call Hakkim. I saw he called me 2 hrs ago which I missed. I called him back and he told me to not disturb her. He also told me he will be coming home at 6 and asked me to leave before that (!!!)
He later texted me at 9 that I can be back home
For those who are interested, i can share in more details
I came home at 4 and I saw room door closed which was unusual as she is mostly locked after dinner. I didn’t bother her and checked my phone to call Hakkim. I saw he called me 2 hrs ago which I missed. I called him back and he told me to not disturb her. He also told me he will be coming home at 6 and asked me to leave before that (!!!)
He later texted me at 9 that I can be back home
For those who are interested, i can share in more details
Lol yes we are all practically begging you for details. The more the better. How did things progress to this point? Have you spoken to your wife, or has she brought up, the fact that she is locking you out of the bedroom and having long talks with another man?
I was at my work and Becky was home. When I left at 7am, she was still in the bed and I decided to not bother her. When I came back at 4pm, I saw her bedroom door locked. This was a bit unusual as she is generally watching tv at that time. Also, when she locks her door, it’s generally after 7pm, when she prepares herself for Hakkim’s call and then sleep naked alone after that
Instead of knocking her door and asking, I thought of calling Hakkim to see if he has asked her. At that time I saw a call from him around 2pm which I missed as my phone was on silent because of a meeting. I called him back but he didn’t pick it up. He called me back in 15 min and he told me that he has informed Becky that he will be coming home today. He told me that she is ready now and it’s the right time. He also told that he knows Becky wants to experience him now. However, she isn’t comfortable submitting herself to him when I am at home and he asked me to leave before 6. Though I knew that I won’t get to see them in action but I was OK knowing that this is their preference. I didn’t disturb her but exchanged a few texts with her assuring her that she has my full support (not that she needed the assurance). I spent the next hour in my garage completing some work and then obediently left the house at 5:40pm. Before leaving I did two things - I sent a nice text to Becky telling her how much I love her and second I left a bottle of sparking wine and two glasses on the kitchen top
(More in a bit)
Instead of knocking her door and asking, I thought of calling Hakkim to see if he has asked her. At that time I saw a call from him around 2pm which I missed as my phone was on silent because of a meeting. I called him back but he didn’t pick it up. He called me back in 15 min and he told me that he has informed Becky that he will be coming home today. He told me that she is ready now and it’s the right time. He also told that he knows Becky wants to experience him now. However, she isn’t comfortable submitting herself to him when I am at home and he asked me to leave before 6. Though I knew that I won’t get to see them in action but I was OK knowing that this is their preference. I didn’t disturb her but exchanged a few texts with her assuring her that she has my full support (not that she needed the assurance). I spent the next hour in my garage completing some work and then obediently left the house at 5:40pm. Before leaving I did two things - I sent a nice text to Becky telling her how much I love her and second I left a bottle of sparking wine and two glasses on the kitchen top
(More in a bit)
I discover this fantastic thread.
As you said earlier, character traits are not fixed.
If you have a mild/weak authority trait and Rebecca has a strong authority trait, then she will be dominant in your relationship.
But if this guy has an exceptionally strong authority trait, then she will be subserviant to him, even more that hers is quite strong and she's not used to feeling weaker.
The message here is that these are triggers that have behavioral effects, and that they CANNOT be valued on a fixed scale (like if she had a 80% domination potential and him a 99% potential, letting open the possibility for a competition for who's the most dominant) but, on the contrary, in a relative way depending on who is participant in the relation : she is subserviant to him, she is dominant to you. And it gets even more uncontrollable under stress; that's why it's even more spectacular when he is a bit harsh with her.
As you said earlier, character traits are not fixed.
If you have a mild/weak authority trait and Rebecca has a strong authority trait, then she will be dominant in your relationship.
But if this guy has an exceptionally strong authority trait, then she will be subserviant to him, even more that hers is quite strong and she's not used to feeling weaker.
The message here is that these are triggers that have behavioral effects, and that they CANNOT be valued on a fixed scale (like if she had a 80% domination potential and him a 99% potential, letting open the possibility for a competition for who's the most dominant) but, on the contrary, in a relative way depending on who is participant in the relation : she is subserviant to him, she is dominant to you. And it gets even more uncontrollable under stress; that's why it's even more spectacular when he is a bit harsh with her.
