Harry - Peak has it correct. Guys referred to Robert and Tony as she's now totally convinced she'll fuck him next Friday. It's funny, in bed, that's almost all she can talk about. We had sex last night (with a condom) and as she lay back and spread her legs she looked up at me and asked me what I thought Tony was going to think! She'd trimmed/shaved the sides and the bottom and had left a little patch above her pussy. I told her she looked beautiful and very sexy - as she did - something about seeing the darker pink/redness of her vagina more clearly was incredibly erotic especially when she'd spread it open more.
I'll also add to the corrections above in that the conversation about her saying we shouldn't overthink things was really about her (and I) saying that what we're doing now is pretty darn exciting and arousing for the both of us - and that she just wants to keep things as they are for now and to basically not try to plan or think too much about the future.
Jax - I can see your question on why I/we seem to be backtracking or whatever and why you're questioning my thoughts regarding the lifestyle-vs-role-playing thing - when to your mind, we're already fully in the lifestyle.
I guess the truth is that maybe I don't want to believe that this has already become a foregone conclusion and that we're already there. But you're right, and Sue really hasn't changed what she's been saying - so in a way, maybe I need to accept that this has truly become who we are. I suppose that part of it comes from my still feeling and thinking/knowing that if I did need to have her bare for some reason - that she would say okay. In my narrow way of thinking - in my head it would go from fun/role-playing to lifestyle if she were to ever say "no" to that need.
Is that a weird way to think about it? I guess in my head, if she were to truly adopt that attitude, then it would be a point where she would deny my desire even knowing that it isn't what I would want/agree - in a way - enforcing what we are role-playing. To me, that is where it becomes a lifestyle - as opposed to something we're just playing with. That, in my head, ties back to Pnis's comments about when he said he'd be the "hand husband" - that that decision, that point, it goes from fun/play to a bit more serious. I don't feel that Sue and I are at that point yet.
I guess my admission and confession as others have perceived, is that I'd like to experience that - but not with the sense of permanence that Pnis has conveyed in his situation. I don't know how to explain it otherwise - but at the same time - I fear taking that step, not knowing if it would be temporary or permanent. Of course I know that within our relationship - it's doubtful it'd be truly permanent as opposed to just a phase or a desire of hers for a shorter period - but I also don't know that.
And for Harry - this also where my desire to see her "fall for" someone comes into play. In many ways, it's much the same as if she found someone who'd be more dominant and that would captivate her. What I see in her at these times - she's let herself get a little carried away with Brad emotionally. Don on the other hand played a bit of the dom role for her - and here too - when it was at it's height - the arousal and excitement I could see in her was just incredible!!!! I loved seeing her feeling consumed with sexual desires and I loved experiencing feeling her wanting more with him in whatever way. With Don, I did love seeing her seeming to "need" to be with him and needing to feel like she wanted to fulfill his desires. Much in the same way that a lustful-love desire would reveal itself. I'm not sure if that makes any sense. Clearly I wouldn't ever want to lose her - so perhaps the term Love is a bit too strong - maybe Lust would be more appropriate. But it would be really intense to experience her longing to want more time and more sex from him - and yes, denying me at that same time - just not sure to what degree I want that denial.
One thing that I know that we both find exciting is that she hasn't truly "fully cum" with me in almost 2 months now. It turns us both on that we are both very aware that she needs to feel her guy cum in her and that the intense deep fucking as he does is what gives her the fullness of her orgasm that she find herself missing with me until Christmas. In a way she's denying herself too. It's not that she doesn't cum when we have sex - indeed she's laughed that most women would be elated with what she experiences with me - but since she's felt the ability to really let herself go physically with Robert and for him to give her that intense deep-seated orgasm that leaves her virtually unconscious - it seems like it's only intensified the wait until we have that moment again. I have to say that knowing what she is missing - knowing she's had it with Robert - and knowing that I haven't felt her shake and tremble uncontrollably beneath me in a long time now - it's incredibly arousing.
She told me that she hopes she can relax enough and let go with Tony enough to share that moment with him. Oh god was that incredible to hear from her last night and almost immediately made me fill the condom.
Gotta run
I'll also add to the corrections above in that the conversation about her saying we shouldn't overthink things was really about her (and I) saying that what we're doing now is pretty darn exciting and arousing for the both of us - and that she just wants to keep things as they are for now and to basically not try to plan or think too much about the future.
Jax - I can see your question on why I/we seem to be backtracking or whatever and why you're questioning my thoughts regarding the lifestyle-vs-role-playing thing - when to your mind, we're already fully in the lifestyle.
I guess the truth is that maybe I don't want to believe that this has already become a foregone conclusion and that we're already there. But you're right, and Sue really hasn't changed what she's been saying - so in a way, maybe I need to accept that this has truly become who we are. I suppose that part of it comes from my still feeling and thinking/knowing that if I did need to have her bare for some reason - that she would say okay. In my narrow way of thinking - in my head it would go from fun/role-playing to lifestyle if she were to ever say "no" to that need.
Is that a weird way to think about it? I guess in my head, if she were to truly adopt that attitude, then it would be a point where she would deny my desire even knowing that it isn't what I would want/agree - in a way - enforcing what we are role-playing. To me, that is where it becomes a lifestyle - as opposed to something we're just playing with. That, in my head, ties back to Pnis's comments about when he said he'd be the "hand husband" - that that decision, that point, it goes from fun/play to a bit more serious. I don't feel that Sue and I are at that point yet.
I guess my admission and confession as others have perceived, is that I'd like to experience that - but not with the sense of permanence that Pnis has conveyed in his situation. I don't know how to explain it otherwise - but at the same time - I fear taking that step, not knowing if it would be temporary or permanent. Of course I know that within our relationship - it's doubtful it'd be truly permanent as opposed to just a phase or a desire of hers for a shorter period - but I also don't know that.
And for Harry - this also where my desire to see her "fall for" someone comes into play. In many ways, it's much the same as if she found someone who'd be more dominant and that would captivate her. What I see in her at these times - she's let herself get a little carried away with Brad emotionally. Don on the other hand played a bit of the dom role for her - and here too - when it was at it's height - the arousal and excitement I could see in her was just incredible!!!! I loved seeing her feeling consumed with sexual desires and I loved experiencing feeling her wanting more with him in whatever way. With Don, I did love seeing her seeming to "need" to be with him and needing to feel like she wanted to fulfill his desires. Much in the same way that a lustful-love desire would reveal itself. I'm not sure if that makes any sense. Clearly I wouldn't ever want to lose her - so perhaps the term Love is a bit too strong - maybe Lust would be more appropriate. But it would be really intense to experience her longing to want more time and more sex from him - and yes, denying me at that same time - just not sure to what degree I want that denial.
One thing that I know that we both find exciting is that she hasn't truly "fully cum" with me in almost 2 months now. It turns us both on that we are both very aware that she needs to feel her guy cum in her and that the intense deep fucking as he does is what gives her the fullness of her orgasm that she find herself missing with me until Christmas. In a way she's denying herself too. It's not that she doesn't cum when we have sex - indeed she's laughed that most women would be elated with what she experiences with me - but since she's felt the ability to really let herself go physically with Robert and for him to give her that intense deep-seated orgasm that leaves her virtually unconscious - it seems like it's only intensified the wait until we have that moment again. I have to say that knowing what she is missing - knowing she's had it with Robert - and knowing that I haven't felt her shake and tremble uncontrollably beneath me in a long time now - it's incredibly arousing.
She told me that she hopes she can relax enough and let go with Tony enough to share that moment with him. Oh god was that incredible to hear from her last night and almost immediately made me fill the condom.
Gotta run
