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Denial discussion

  • Thread starterSoonToBe
  • Start date
STB,
Be assured there are many of us keeping track. It's an uneasy time for you both and I for one don't feel easy about the usual banter and questions because they could so easily set the wrong tone if things change suddenly for you.

It is inevitable that sooner or later something will happen with Robert and Sue. None of us (probably including Sue) have any clue when. You know your wife though, whether it is quiet time or gentle hugs or time away, she will need you now if this is the start of the end.

It must be a different sort of angst for you as you wait though. Sue is not the only one who will need to rewire some brain functions / behaviours when it starts. This in a way will make it tougher for you sometimes because she will see it as affecting her, when some of it will equally (but maybe differently) affects you too.

Such as it is, we are all here to listen / help in whatever way we can if you need us.
 
Peak

i do agree with your post.

Stb keep us posted.
 
STB

i forgot to post. that hope all is well with sue and robert. he may have told her some bad news hope not.

keep us posted.
 
Only have a few minutes right now but thought I'd at least post what last revealed.

She was a little upset when she came home - but as she said "I knew this was coming" and she said that it's just a bit sooner than she'd expected it.
Robert shared with her that he's "very interested" in his new lady-friend and part of his conversation with Sue last night was to ask her opinion. Apparently he didn't feel his chase with Sue was very reflective of how he'd like to woo his new lady. Sue said she had to agree that she, and actually both of them, knew under it all that they weren't going to be the romantic couple (she said she knew she was never leaving me for him which made me feel good). She says he asked her all sorts of stuff - about if he was going too fast and she said quite the opposite and at one point told him that glaciers moved faster than he did - and she even suggested that his new lady friend may not want to wait quite to so long to have sex with him. And so on and so on.

But the biggest disappointment for Sue was that he said that he was going to be busy on Thursday this week - and that he was seeing his new lady on Friday. She wasn't upset so much as disappointed - as I said - that things were seeming to happen faster than she'd thought. I did point out that it's been quite a few weeks now that he's been interested and that she had to expect this.

Of course none of this prevented them from fucking! Partway through her talking to me last night I said "so, you must be horny still" - she looked at me like I had 2 heads and she said "oh, you thought maybe we didn't?" she giggled and said "sorry baby but I'm not ready to give THAT up just yet". I kissed her and said "unfortunately that may not be totally your choice" and she said something about enjoying it while she still can.

We did not talk about much outside of this - her and him. I suspect that tonight may reveal more - but that really, it'll probably be when we take a few days next weekend that things will come out more fully. In the meanwhile I hugged her and said I'd always be there for her and that she should take some time to get her thoughts and feelings together.
 
STB,
There is a part of you that Sue has not called on for a while. She has been using Robert for that. I don't mean the obvious physical bit (although that is true as well), but something emotional, connected to her fully bonding with a man. Robert has had a small bit of that lately and Sue will want it in you again shortly, at least until she finds someone new. I can't define it any clearer than that, but I do think when she calls on it, you maybe don't want to be playing any denial scenarios with her. It will be about what she needs, not what you may want.
 
Well said, Peak! I think she has gotten more than a little of that from Robert. I can't add any more than that.
Harry
 
Peak/Harry - I think I'm one step ahead of you in that last night I already suggested to Sue that our little time away next weekend should be a time when we focus on us and just us. She seemed to glow when I said that to her (before I'd seen your replies just now).

So - last night we sort of talked a bit before we got to have some fun. I asked her if she was okay about Robert and she said she was, as I'd kind of seen/felt, that she was disappointed and even a little sad at it having to end - but it was her who added that "it's good for him" and later that she wants it for him to be happy. Apparently she spent some time coaching him on how to read women a little better and again suggested that taking a long time to woo her may not be in his best interest if she's younger than him and may not have the curiosity that Sue had.

We obviously talked about the change that Sue's going to have - which I sort of started off by asking her if he had any inklings about when he might lure his new girlfriend to bed. She said that he still thought that might be a few weeks away and she giggled when I said "then you have a few more weeks" which made her giggle a bit. And with the shift to more sex-oriented talk she openly said "you know I'm going to want to find another guy, right?". I told her that I expected that and I also added that I thought the down-time between lovers might be good for us. She snuggled right up to me and said something like "just remember you're who I will always want". I told her as we talked closely that I thought it might be hard for her when things do wind down and that I thought it might be good for us to reconnect and I said something like 'go back to normal' between us. She hugged me and kissed me and said that she knows it's going to be even more depressing for her when that day does come but she kissed me and said "but I know you'll be here for me" and that'll be what's most important.

Like I said - I do know her.

But as with most Wednesday nights - once we were both in the right place (and after that conversation, yes she maybe was a little down, but she was also very up about me) and after kissing another few times she looked at me and said "so - you still horny?" and she gently patted my crotch and felt my hard cock. It was my turn to giggle back and I simply answered "duh". As we started to get more friendly she looked at me and said "just you tonight, okay?" and I understood what she was saying. She leaned back next to me up on one elbow and she told me again how "it really turns me on to watch you". I didn't really need much more encouragement and I told her that I loved having her watch me. I slid my jeans and boxers off and pulled up my t-shirt so I was almost naked and I lay there and let her watch. She was quiet at first until she asked me "what are you thinking about?" I told her that I was thinking how wet and slippery her pussy lips probably were at that moment. She giggled and even blushed a bit at what I said.

She told me to pretend she wasn't there and that she wanted me to tell her "what kind of kinky stuff you think of". I didn't need to really think hard or make anything up as I told her that I usually thought of her. She slid down next to me and I could feel her breasts and her hard nipples against my arm which got me horny. It took me a few minutes to get into a groove and get a good line of images/thoughts in my head. I slowly shared them with her. Yes, it still feels awkward at times - especially like last night - when it is more one-sided and she wants to more hear me than banter back and forth. I told her I was thinking about her - maybe at a party where she had a bit too much to drink. She moaned and saw that I was really hard already and she said "tell me more". I told her how I'd be watching her from afar and she moaned when I said that I noticed a couple of guys were interested in her. She seems to really respond when I share with her details so I told her "I could see your nipples were hard through your top - and so could they". That really drew a deeper moan from her and I just continued saying what came into my head. I didn't share everything with her but enough that she was aware of what was in my head. I told her how horny I felt when she said that she liked this one guy and wanted to sneak away for a bit. There was more to what I'd said but that's the gist of it. I told her how horny I was (in my fantasy) waiting for her to come back.

She'd started to play along and said something like "too bad you could follow me and see or hear us". I was into it - in my head I had images of her somewhere with her skirt flipped up over her butt and her panties down around her ankles and she giggled when I told her that and she moaned back at me "was he big?" and that made me moan and stroke even more. She ran her hands down my body and down my leg and then back up and cupped my balls as I kept stroking. I told her how she came back to me maybe a half-hour later and how she looked at me and said "now it's your turn".

I know it doesn't sound like much and I'm probably overlooking a lot of the small comments and shared moans - but I knew I was close and so did she as I told her how once we were in a bedroom I took her clothes off her and saw her naked used body. She seemed to be turned on herself as I shared my thoughts - especially at telling her how horny I felt. I know that I was moaning and that she must have also known that I was getting close because she slid down a bit to watch me more closely. With her moving away from being so close to me as I spoke it became easier to fantasize out loud. I told her how in my head we kissed and I got undressed and as we lay together in bed and that in my fantasy - as she lay back on the bed she spread her legs and I saw that she was very wet and creamy. I didn't think about it before but as I said that I told her that "I put the condom on" and that how as I entered her she told me "... I did him and his friend..." - and just a moment later she squealed as I seized on this thought and came all over my stomach as she watched.

She turned her head to look back up at my face and I cannot explain the look on her face other than to say that she was very horny and aroused - but it was the incredibly sexy voice and way she said "oh god does that turn me on these days". She turned back to watch me stroke out the last few drops and she put her hand over mine as she pulled out the last few drops and she kept my softening cock in her hand as I took mine away. I could hear her moan as she held my cock and when it was soft she giggle and lay it against my leg and she sat up next to me. Again she played with my cum - tracing her fingers through it - she even drew a heart on my stomach with it. As she did she giggled and said "so - turns you on to think of me being slutty like that, huh?". She pulled together a glob of my cum onto her finger and as she brought it up to my mouth she said "you never know - one day...." - and as she said that I sucked at her finger which made her moan again.
 
I had a few minutes and thought I'd post about some PM conversations I've had with others today.

One person asked me if Sue was still into fantasizing and sharing her more erotic and explicit fantasies with me and also whether she still shares them with Robert. I haven't posted much because other things have happened that have distracted us a bit but she does still enjoy it with Robert and I know from what she has shared that they still do. It's her openness overall that encouraged and even enabled me to say what I did last night with her. I think we were making a lot of progress with that and now the change in Robert's status has put this perhaps into a pause mode for now.

Another person that I PM'd with this afternoon brought up the question of condoms and the future - and he specifically asked me if I thought I would go bare with her next week when we go away. My response was as it always is - if it's what she wants and she's willing to say/ask for it - that I would (obviously) agree with her request. She's said again at other times that for her - she feels in some ways as I already posted, that my willingness to not cum in her seems to reinforce that I love her for more than sex and that my eagerness to still be with her signals to her that I want her for more than just how her pussy makes my cock feel. What I didn't share on the PM or earlier is that it is crazy - but it actually turns me on to think of using condoms with her. (In my head in a way I have now become one of those guys in line to be with the ****** at that frat-party so long ago.)

With all of that said, I don't think it should surprise anyone that - while she hasn't said it directly, it's been something I can feel her thinking - after things end with Robert, I won't surprise me any more if she were to still ask me to use condoms with her. There is just something about how she'll play with my cum - on my stomach or in the condom - and the look in her eyes in general that it turns her on. It's crazy to think about - that she'd both deny me and herself at what she is so turned on by, having her pussy wet with cum. She hasn't said anything about any of this yet - but as I posted earlier, when we reach this point, she'll need my support and love - and if she feels that it something important to her, that I would surely support her.
 
SoonToBe said:
With all of that said, I don't think it should surprise anyone that - while she hasn't said it directly, it's been something I can feel her thinking - after things end with Robert, I won't surprise me any more if she were to still ask me to use condoms with her. There is just something about how she'll play with my cum - on my stomach or in the condom - and the look in her eyes in general that it turns her on. It's crazy to think about - that she'd both deny me and herself at what she is so turned on by, having her pussy wet with cum. She hasn't said anything about any of this yet - but as I posted earlier, when we reach this point, she'll need my support and love - and if she feels that it something important to her, that I would surely support her
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Steve-referring back to post #11 and 13 where I suggested you and Sue are now involved in a "new marriage" and you talked about the concept as a sort of "new norm" or perhaps a set of "new norms" in terms of how you two relate to each other now and in the future, do you see long term condom usage, or at least long term intermittent condom usage as something that will become one of the "new norms". Would you be prepared for this reality?
Also with this same theme in mind, it would appear that in light of the current climate of your and Sue's relationship and some of the "new discoveries" that have surfaced, it may be benificial for Sue to find a Lover who is more Dominant and who would be willing to play with the both of you in that capacity, in order to achieve the next level. What would your take be on this becoming a reality?
 
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SB

have you and sue talked about your up coming wekend away yet. if so what have you both wanting to do.

ha sue talked any more about robert and his new girl. has sue talked about her looking for a new guy yet.
or is she going to wait till afer holiday's to look again.

hope that you both have had a great weekend so far.

kepus posted.
 
Well, it's the end of a looong weekend and once again I'm up and monopolized with a problem at work - despite wanting to post earlier this weekend.... Right now, at almost 2am, we're waiting on a signoff that things are fixed so I have some time to kill.

It was just as well that I was busy as I think not seeing Robert is having an effect on her. I offered more than once to talk with her about it but she didn't seem comfortable. It's time like this when I wish she had a girlfriend or someone else she could confide in. She did admit earlier tonight as I watched a little TV with her before bed, that she missed him - and then she said that she also missed the desire she once felt from him. I told her that she needed to give it time and that she also needed to give herself time too. She hugged me and said I was so good to her.

She thought she'd try to keep it from me, that on Friday night, she was distracted - that is until I told her that "it's okay if you're upset". She loved that I was perceptive enough to see through her attempts to hide it. That broke the ice and it wasn't long till we were getting naked in bed. What was different was that she wasn't quite as wet as usual - and I guess the condom can be a little dry even with the little bit of lubricant it has on it - so she moaned for me to add some more. That did the trick - for sure....

I hoped we were going to mess around again tonight but I knew earlier that I'd need to be on this call waiting around so it wasn't going to work to be too busy to jump onto the call when needed. She hugged me and giggled that we got to lie in bed together and watch some TV for a change without it turning into a quick romp...

In the meanwhile, it's left me horny so after I post here and after I get the ok to drop off the call, I'll have some alone time.

CSC - I think you may be correct with the intermittent thing. It is very weird that this has become a new dynamic between us - but it seems to bring a certain amount of added intensity when we're together and in tune with each other. In a way, it's a continual reminder - at least for me - that she wants to have sex with her lover. Whether it continues post-Robert is something I"m not so sure of. But if she wanted it, then as I've already posted, I'm sure I'll agree.

If I could be sure that we could find someone who'd respect our relationship while at the same time pushing her and us, then I think I'd be in favor of it. I know she feels strongly about the things Don did for her in terms of making her more self-aware of being wanted and of wanting to fulfill his desires. In that sense, yeah, it'd be a lot of fun to see someone who could push her - dominant or however. I think I'm also in a better place to deal with something like that. I know that it kind of freaked me out when Don started to ask for more with her - but we're both at different places now that I think - again, if he was someone who'd still respect our relationship (and not try to pull her away or pull us apart), then it could be okay and maybe even some fun if not at least some intense angst and arousal!

Anyway - I'm going to post here as the call is resuming right now with some testing results.
 
STB,
The end seems to be arriving quicker than you expected. Although if Robert has started a sexual relationship with his new woman (it has to be said, following Sue's suggestion) then it would appear an honourable thing for him to do break off relations with Sue. Of course things might not work for him with his new woman, but then I'm not sure how long Sue could stand being the 'rebound' girl. It could get stale quite quickly perhaps.

However, back to you. I have suggested the scenario before but your comment about what Sue misses is Robert's desire for her prompts me again. Couldn't Sue see that same overwhelming desire in you?

Your latest sexual encounters with her have been passionate but all seem to have been led by and initiated by Sue. Maybe it was this that led me to suggest that you needed to put something more in now that Robert was fading (sorry, no pun intended). What would happen for instance, if after a hot session with you poised outside her pussy with your bare cock, you slowly but insistently just pushed it in and carried on. It might show her that in spite of her (and maybe even your) continuing preference for condom use, your simple desire for her was overwhelming and made you take control for a change. How do you think she would react?
 
STB

now that sue is missing him is she going to see him. today to fix that want or need in her.

keep us posted.
 
Peak - I'm thinking I may have not said it best, she feels the desire from him waning. I did ask her what she meant and she said that he probably doesn't even know he's doing it but that she "can feel it". Perhaps desire isn't the best word but its how she liked to feel when she was with him - that he wanted her. I know it turned her on a lot at times that she felt he always wanted her - I told her that couldn't last forever and she said she knows it - and added that she hoped I was okay hearing that she missed it.

I suppose she's feeling a bit vulnerable - there were a few times when she couldn't ever let herself do these things if she didn't feel a confidence in me about it all - so I guess my support/encouragement, and agreement, may have let her get to the point where she notices the change in his attitude even without him necessarily knowing it (yet).

Regarding her breaking it off with him - she's waiting for him to tell her that he's having sex with her before she wants to change anything. I told her that it may have happened this weekend and she said that it's possible and that she'd try to talk to him today. I don't think she's under any illusions that she was just a rebound girl for him though. But maybe that's what's given her a feeling that she could explore herself more with him knowing there couldn't be any long-term committments? She's said things about "being glad she could open up with Robert" and at other times she's used those words "explore myself" too.

That's actually what I'm hoping I can steer this towards - that we can continue to explore this stuff ourselves. It's incredible to see her aroused as we share a fantasy and put her in it. I'm not sure that I agree that our latest encounters have been totally her doing - I think her feeling my desire for her contributes a lot to the results of which neither of us seem to be complaining. To answer your quesiton about me plunging into her bare out of desire - I don't think she'd resist it and would most likely feel the need if I truly felt it that strongly. I have thought of it often - even if not to fuck her until I cum but to just push into her and feel what she's only given to her lover now for weeks on end. Oh - don't think that desire isn't there - it's there virtually all the time. But I have to say that restraining it and channeling it into fucking her deeper and harder with the condom on has given us really intense and very soul opening results.

I do think there are about to be changes - very soon in fact - as I don't believe Sue will enjoy a once-a-week time with Robert nearly as much as twice or more. I haven't told her this, but I suspect she is going to soon feel used - that she is merely providing her pussy to him and that by nature of just it being once a week, it's going to change quite quickly.

It is a very unique feeling to, in a way, feel sad for her. It's weird that I'm sad that her lover is leaving her and that her pussy may return to just being mine, even if just for a short time. But I do feel sad for her in that I think she thought that there was, perhaps, more she could have learned and experienced - but that is just my thoughts on it.
 
Dana - just saw your post - no she is not seeing him today - that doesn't work schedule-wise for either of them right now.
As of this morning, her hopes were to see him on Tuesday.
Gotta run.
 
STB,
Thank you for that insight. Seeing the the real depth and complexity of your relationship with Sue shows yet again how closely you are tied together and how solid your partnership really is. Maybe it is this that enables her to seek out other lovers and you to not only cope with it but to enjoy it with her. That you both want this is what makes it bearable when the inevitable friction points arrive. With you two, this friction doesn't just not erode your love, it positively etches it deeper into your souls somehow. It's remarkable and great to witness.
 
We're all online again with this problem to make sure it's okay tonight so again as I'm listening in, I can post a bit here.

We didn't talk all that much tonight - she seemed preoccupied with other things most of the evening and as if to reinforce us getting away next weekend, our daughter and Sue had an estrogen battle going for a while there. Before I left her I lay behind her as we watched TV and I hugged her deeply and spooned up behind her. She could definitely feel my hard-on through my boxers and her long-t-shirt and she reached back and held it and giggled at how horny I get around her. I thought that moment might be good to share here.

I thought of what Peak had asked here earlier and I whispered that I felt like pulling up her shirt and fucking her. She moaned and from the way she hunched her hips back, I think I could have done it and she'd have enjoyed it. But I didn't. I ground up against her and held her and kissed her and I told her the other stuff that I'd posted here too - that I wanted her - all the time. She snuggled back against me and said "you'll have me soon enough" and she turned to kiss me - but the way she lay next to me, I can't explain it, but to me it left no doubt in my mind that she would have gladly let me pull up her shirt and fuck her spontaneously like that.

But it was late and I knew I had to be on this call by 11:30pm - so there really was no point in pushing it as I would have wanted far more time than the 15 minutes that I would have had.

She confirmed that she's seeing him tomorrow but again, there's just something in her voice that says to me that something's changed. She even looked back at me and said "it's okay with you, right?", and before I could answer she added "it's probably the only day this week anyway". I know that at first I even felt a little sad for her but as I rethought how that second part sounded, I could swear it also sounded a bit nonchalant about it as if it was something she expected or wasn't surprised by. I think that's new - in the past, when we've planned to go away, she would sometimes intensify things beforehand, but not this time.

Anyway - we're about to hear about whether things are stable in a few minutes at work so I'm signing off now.
 
STB,
Another evening that you wait for Sue's return. I wonder if now it is starting to feel different. Like springtime after another winter maybe. Sap rising in places it hasn't been for a while. Or maybe just a little more poignant. The end of another chapter with the knowledge that another unknown one will follow soon enough. Excitement or relief. Or a bit of both?
 
Peak - a bit of both for sure. She came home, again with some kind of attitude going on - she's now downstairs on the phone with her mother, not sure if something's changed with her dad - he's been too stable for too long it seems.

To be honest, I'll say that I too am a bit disappointed that it is ending for her and Robert. There is still something that is just incredibly arousing to me knowing that she shares herself so willingly with a guy I've still never met. It's like there are 2 sides of her - the sedate normal exterior - and beneath her panties lies this totally other person. I like what he's done for her - while she may be disappointed or preoccupied or whatever - under it all, I think we both feel that there is a much stronger bond between us. Weird to think that using condoms may be emblematic of that in a way. But he's gotten her to open up in a way that I'd long hoped for - and what's more rewarding is that it's who she really is (or at least seems to be) and that the person I found and got so excited about so long ago has now come back again. So, yeah, I'm going to miss that he fucks the heck out of her.

I'd also have to say that it is exciting. I'm not sure that you can understand my arousal at thinking of her finding another lover - and as others have suggested, possibly going through a few different guys before finding the next Mr. Right. It's interesting in that some of her conversation with Robert about seducing his new paramour was her suggesting that many women will still sleep with a guy if they feel that'll help things along and that he shouldn't be so shy about wanting it from her. I was also thinking that perhaps she's foretelling her own attitude?

Things seem precarious right now so I'm not expecting much of anything for tonight other than maybe some talk-time later, I know that I'm about to head down and exercise for a little while and pacify my own thoughts till tomorrow.
 
I'd also have to say that it is exciting. I'm not sure that you can understand my arousal at thinking of her finding another lover - and as others have suggested, possibly going through a few different guys before finding the next Mr. Right. It's interesting in that some of her conversation with Robert about seducing his new paramour was her suggesting that many women will still sleep with a guy if they feel that'll help things along and that he shouldn't be so shy about wanting it from her. I was also thinking that perhaps she's foretelling her own attitude?
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I know that others including myself have posed this question previously but, other than the idea for Sue to take some type of community college course and possibly meet someone through that type of situation, as you had mentioned once several posts ago, has there been any further plans/discussion/decisions on how/when/where she will meet her next man.
What qualities are you hoping for her to find in her next Lover.
 
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