Finally
- Thread starter2wheel
- Start date
We met him last night. Originally she wanted drinks or coffee. I asked where she wanted to go, she didn't care, but said if they have drinks available she'll have one. so I picked Ruby Tuesday, they have both.
She dressed in a very nice a FER sweater that brightened and framed her beautiful face. Had her hair done earlier in the day, pre-scheduled.
We were running a few minutes late, she is very time challenged, and offered to called him and tell him, I was pleased, it shows her engagement. She dialed then handed me the phone, URGH.
Anyway we meet and get a table, she orders coffee, me a Coke, he a Sprite. We talk & talk, She is very engaged and engaging, I haven't seen her like this in ages, I sense "she's on the make". But I don't have a sense of whether he's a go or no-go.
About 30 minutes is he picks up the menu, she follows suit. I wonder is she following his lead or is she being polite. I ask here if she is ready to eat, she grunts to the affirmative, I ask "appetizer now dinner later or dinner now". She says she is having app as dinner. OK, so I guess it's dinner time with him, unexpected.
We eat and chat more. I excuse myself to hit the head, giving them time to be alone. A minutes after I return she does likewise. He and I chat a few minutes alone, I told him I appreciate him showing up as I hear many guys flake out, that this has been a long journey getting here. He says he understands as this isn't his 1st time. She returns and reminds me about a bogus appointment at home and he hits the head as well. She and I barely have a moment alone, I sense this is a 'no-go', the checks are delivered, we pay and say our goodbyes.
On the way home, she said she was uncomfortable, either couldn't or wouldn't say why. He's not the guy for her, he was pleasant enough, but she said couldn't listen to any more of his 'dribble', that it became a painful experience. There wasn't any 'connection'. That he asked if this was a new experience for her, she told him yes and she returned the question, he said 10 years. She said this turned her off.
I said "OK, can win them all". I didn't push to get back to ads. I figured I'd let it simmer a day and do that tonight.
Here's a silly observation. If I were asked what type of guy she would want, I don't think I could honestly answer. She has always said she likes fat dicks, some of the ads we saw did have guys fitting that description, but she showed no interest, or didn't want me to know she actually had an interest. However, if I had to describe a type. It would be me, JUST NOT ME!
She dressed in a very nice a FER sweater that brightened and framed her beautiful face. Had her hair done earlier in the day, pre-scheduled.
We were running a few minutes late, she is very time challenged, and offered to called him and tell him, I was pleased, it shows her engagement. She dialed then handed me the phone, URGH.
Anyway we meet and get a table, she orders coffee, me a Coke, he a Sprite. We talk & talk, She is very engaged and engaging, I haven't seen her like this in ages, I sense "she's on the make". But I don't have a sense of whether he's a go or no-go.
About 30 minutes is he picks up the menu, she follows suit. I wonder is she following his lead or is she being polite. I ask here if she is ready to eat, she grunts to the affirmative, I ask "appetizer now dinner later or dinner now". She says she is having app as dinner. OK, so I guess it's dinner time with him, unexpected.
We eat and chat more. I excuse myself to hit the head, giving them time to be alone. A minutes after I return she does likewise. He and I chat a few minutes alone, I told him I appreciate him showing up as I hear many guys flake out, that this has been a long journey getting here. He says he understands as this isn't his 1st time. She returns and reminds me about a bogus appointment at home and he hits the head as well. She and I barely have a moment alone, I sense this is a 'no-go', the checks are delivered, we pay and say our goodbyes.
On the way home, she said she was uncomfortable, either couldn't or wouldn't say why. He's not the guy for her, he was pleasant enough, but she said couldn't listen to any more of his 'dribble', that it became a painful experience. There wasn't any 'connection'. That he asked if this was a new experience for her, she told him yes and she returned the question, he said 10 years. She said this turned her off.
I said "OK, can win them all". I didn't push to get back to ads. I figured I'd let it simmer a day and do that tonight.
Here's a silly observation. If I were asked what type of guy she would want, I don't think I could honestly answer. She has always said she likes fat dicks, some of the ads we saw did have guys fitting that description, but she showed no interest, or didn't want me to know she actually had an interest. However, if I had to describe a type. It would be me, JUST NOT ME!
2wheel said:
No chemistry, I guess. I wonder if he felt likewise. Anyway, it seems like a big step forward for your wife and, perhaps from your point of view, an interesting evening. Something of an adventure.
Did you call and give him your wife's decision, or are you simply not going to interact further with him? Seems like the former would be the appropriate thing to do....
It was interesting. I definitely got mixed messages from her.
I will absolutely make contact with him. As it is important for to be engaged in the process, it will take getting her back in front of the computer for me to send a message. It'll be mostly her thoughts which I type.
We have very busy schedules and by evening she's a bit too exhausted and overwhelmed by the day gone by to partake in the process.
I will absolutely make contact with him. As it is important for to be engaged in the process, it will take getting her back in front of the computer for me to send a message. It'll be mostly her thoughts which I type.
We have very busy schedules and by evening she's a bit too exhausted and overwhelmed by the day gone by to partake in the process.
So I got her back to the computer a few times in the last month.
To date between CL & AFF, she/we have looked at almost 500 candidates. Amazing that of that she has expressed a 'maybe' of 6 and a 'best maybe' of 1.
I sent them all an invitations to meet and greet. I see we have gotten back 4 responses, but I need to get her back to the computer to review and follow-up.
The anxiety on my part is quite palpable. The combination of a change of meds for me and the non-stop thoughts/fantasy/visualizations of her engaged with another guy has me in an almost constant sate of erection.
The day after we sent the invites I secretly recorded her in the middle of the day with her favorite toy.
Observations:
1 - She does seem slightly more engaged in the process
2 - She still looks for reasons to reject candidates rather than accept them
3 - I still feel the slow roll
4 - She did see one guy and said she thought I'd enjoy him - I didn't drill down with her for more info - alone or with her watching as before
5 - She did say one is a 'best maybe' so she is actually looking at the profiles
My quest continues.
To date between CL & AFF, she/we have looked at almost 500 candidates. Amazing that of that she has expressed a 'maybe' of 6 and a 'best maybe' of 1.
I sent them all an invitations to meet and greet. I see we have gotten back 4 responses, but I need to get her back to the computer to review and follow-up.
The anxiety on my part is quite palpable. The combination of a change of meds for me and the non-stop thoughts/fantasy/visualizations of her engaged with another guy has me in an almost constant sate of erection.
The day after we sent the invites I secretly recorded her in the middle of the day with her favorite toy.
Observations:
1 - She does seem slightly more engaged in the process
2 - She still looks for reasons to reject candidates rather than accept them
3 - I still feel the slow roll
4 - She did see one guy and said she thought I'd enjoy him - I didn't drill down with her for more info - alone or with her watching as before
5 - She did say one is a 'best maybe' so she is actually looking at the profiles
My quest continues.
Attachments
Custer, That is my hope , that once she gets back into fucking she'll realize how much she misses it and with my OK she'll return to her old ways. BUT I do see slightly less resistance, my view may be skewed by my desire or it may be spot on, I really can't tell. The slow roll is one thing, participation in the selection process is another.
See was in distress yesterday, but willingly agreed to today 3/26.
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Larry.
Larry is a new resident here in our community. We/she met him at the pool last year. There was an immediate connection between them. We all come from NY. As an aside, we live in a 55+ community below the Mason Dixon Line, almost every one here is a transplant, 8000+ homes.
Anyway, each time she sees him her eyes light up. he is very genial, a bit taller than me maybe 6'2" and a bit on the thin side.
The 3 of us have had lunch together several times at a community events. Occasionally I've had to leave her there with him. They hung out and talked for a time after I left. She is very comfortable around men, probably more so than women, not unexpected considering how many have been inside her.
By the way I see him quite often without her as he shares several community activities with me.
Last week he said he was heading back to NY to bring his boat back. She asked if he would take her out in it. I made notice that she didn't say 'us'. Of course he responded yes, than added what about me. She said that what she meant. He has a SO, she's still in NY, he told her he's getting tired of her.
A short history, when she was younger, in Brooklyn, she had a boyfriend that had a boat on, south shore, Sheepshead Bay. She said they fucked on the boat all the time, that it was great, all the motion.
Makes one wonder.
Anyway. So I'm laying in bed last night and thinking:
Could I deal with an acquaintance/friend being the third?
What about him and her alone?
Is this much too close for comfort?
Can one time become all the time?
Could she move from me to him?
Can he keep a secret?
Should I broach the subject with her?
Do I care?
See was in distress yesterday, but willingly agreed to today 3/26.
------------------
Larry.
Larry is a new resident here in our community. We/she met him at the pool last year. There was an immediate connection between them. We all come from NY. As an aside, we live in a 55+ community below the Mason Dixon Line, almost every one here is a transplant, 8000+ homes.
Anyway, each time she sees him her eyes light up. he is very genial, a bit taller than me maybe 6'2" and a bit on the thin side.
The 3 of us have had lunch together several times at a community events. Occasionally I've had to leave her there with him. They hung out and talked for a time after I left. She is very comfortable around men, probably more so than women, not unexpected considering how many have been inside her.
By the way I see him quite often without her as he shares several community activities with me.
Last week he said he was heading back to NY to bring his boat back. She asked if he would take her out in it. I made notice that she didn't say 'us'. Of course he responded yes, than added what about me. She said that what she meant. He has a SO, she's still in NY, he told her he's getting tired of her.
A short history, when she was younger, in Brooklyn, she had a boyfriend that had a boat on, south shore, Sheepshead Bay. She said they fucked on the boat all the time, that it was great, all the motion.
Makes one wonder.
Anyway. So I'm laying in bed last night and thinking:
Could I deal with an acquaintance/friend being the third?
What about him and her alone?
Is this much too close for comfort?
Can one time become all the time?
Could she move from me to him?
Can he keep a secret?
Should I broach the subject with her?
Do I care?
I continue to get mixed signals. But I think shes's getting on board.
Told her yesterday to grab her schedule and let's look at the candidates. She did so willingly, no delays as I generally see.
5 responded to our 'meet and greet coffee' and included a face pic where requested. We decided on 7 available dates, within a 3 week time period in April, we had a bit of miscommunication when she said "let's set it up before we move on to the next." I responded to the effect that it's a super slow roll, 3 weeks to meet with the 1st then another 3 weeks for the 2nd. She corrected my understanding, that what she meant was to set up the 1st upon confirmed to set up the second, and so on.
She saw I answered with our names, at first she was a bit annoyed, then said it was OK. I asked if it's time to include a pic of us as our ad was picture-less. She said without any delay, yes it was (nice surprise). We looked at a few pics of us, the most current about 6 months old, she didn't like it. So I scanned though our pics, I found what I thought was a decent pic she said she looks like crap, so I went backwards further, she said she didn't like any until she thought they were too old. I suggested that our friends, who we are to see today take a few of us. All they need to know is we don't have any recent pics. She said that was a great idea that she'd do herself extra nice. To me these are the actions of a active not passive participant.
As an aside we've been playing lately, something we haven't done is a very very long time.
We played Thursday, I tried to get in her but couldn't I thought she was 'too tight' and my erection dissipated. 1st time she let me try in ages.
As we were reviewing our candidates she said/asked how can somebody else get in her if I couldn't. I reminded her that her OB/GYN told her 'use it or lose'. That it'll take extra lube, perseverance and a firm erection. She reminded me that she can get her glass dildo in without trouble. She said OK, simple quick response.
Told her yesterday to grab her schedule and let's look at the candidates. She did so willingly, no delays as I generally see.
5 responded to our 'meet and greet coffee' and included a face pic where requested. We decided on 7 available dates, within a 3 week time period in April, we had a bit of miscommunication when she said "let's set it up before we move on to the next." I responded to the effect that it's a super slow roll, 3 weeks to meet with the 1st then another 3 weeks for the 2nd. She corrected my understanding, that what she meant was to set up the 1st upon confirmed to set up the second, and so on.
She saw I answered with our names, at first she was a bit annoyed, then said it was OK. I asked if it's time to include a pic of us as our ad was picture-less. She said without any delay, yes it was (nice surprise). We looked at a few pics of us, the most current about 6 months old, she didn't like it. So I scanned though our pics, I found what I thought was a decent pic she said she looks like crap, so I went backwards further, she said she didn't like any until she thought they were too old. I suggested that our friends, who we are to see today take a few of us. All they need to know is we don't have any recent pics. She said that was a great idea that she'd do herself extra nice. To me these are the actions of a active not passive participant.
As an aside we've been playing lately, something we haven't done is a very very long time.
We played Thursday, I tried to get in her but couldn't I thought she was 'too tight' and my erection dissipated. 1st time she let me try in ages.
As we were reviewing our candidates she said/asked how can somebody else get in her if I couldn't. I reminded her that her OB/GYN told her 'use it or lose'. That it'll take extra lube, perseverance and a firm erection. She reminded me that she can get her glass dildo in without trouble. She said OK, simple quick response.
3/30
We had a few pictures taken on Sunday by a friend. Monday we looked at them and she said she doesn't look very good, I agreed. Yesterday I set up our camera for self-timer to take our own pics. She looked in the mirror and said she needs to do her hair, we were heading out the door. I said OK tomorrow night she said OK.
This sounds like someone who actually wants to look good to attract another.
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4/2
Anyway, each of the last few evenings I've tried to get a pic, but other things jumped in front. Then, I had a medical issue which stopped all forward progress. I'm back home now and recuperating, and will be back in full swing by Tuesday 4/5. We told our candidates they'd hear from us by 3/28.
As we're laying in bed last night, without any prompting or cues from me, she tells me that she's getting her hair done Wednesday, when she returns we'll take pics.
Sexual relationship that involve other people are very complicated and complex, and ours, though not yet consummated, is no exception. I'd like to speculate based upon her initiation of that statement but I won't look a gift horse in the mouth. Wednesday is 4 days away and a lot can happen in a short period of time.
We had a few pictures taken on Sunday by a friend. Monday we looked at them and she said she doesn't look very good, I agreed. Yesterday I set up our camera for self-timer to take our own pics. She looked in the mirror and said she needs to do her hair, we were heading out the door. I said OK tomorrow night she said OK.
This sounds like someone who actually wants to look good to attract another.
-----------------------------------
4/2
Anyway, each of the last few evenings I've tried to get a pic, but other things jumped in front. Then, I had a medical issue which stopped all forward progress. I'm back home now and recuperating, and will be back in full swing by Tuesday 4/5. We told our candidates they'd hear from us by 3/28.
As we're laying in bed last night, without any prompting or cues from me, she tells me that she's getting her hair done Wednesday, when she returns we'll take pics.
Sexual relationship that involve other people are very complicated and complex, and ours, though not yet consummated, is no exception. I'd like to speculate based upon her initiation of that statement but I won't look a gift horse in the mouth. Wednesday is 4 days away and a lot can happen in a short period of time.
Well, it's Thursday morning. Apparently I had the days mixed up, at least that what she said. Her hair was colored on Tuesday and will be cut on Sunday. She says that was her target. I misunderstood, I didn't argue, the closer we get to the goal post the more it seems to move, and I don't want to give it a reason to move. Some of the dates we set aside for 'meet & greet' are now behind us, so back to the schedule, urgh, anther hurdle.
I didn't drill down on the responses from our candidates, (if I do I can't mark them unread - and we are doing this together) if you remember our target date was 3/28. Behind us now, but what I could see is they think they're out of the running.
Hurry Sunday!
I didn't drill down on the responses from our candidates, (if I do I can't mark them unread - and we are doing this together) if you remember our target date was 3/28. Behind us now, but what I could see is they think they're out of the running.
Hurry Sunday!
Attachments
Well after a few difficult weeks she's up and out of bed. I off-handedly mentioned to her we need to set new 'meet and greet' availability. She said "oh yeah, forgot".
Anyway, we have house guests for a few days. Yesterday one of them took their camera to take some scenery pics. Wife asks her to please take our our photo, that we haven't in a while and we need one. After she took a few, wife looks at the results and says "I like the 2nd pic, we can use that one". Mind you this wasn't a private comment.
Do you think this is a comment from a disinterested woman?
So I expect to have her look at her calendar later and then pickup the process where we left off.
Anyway, we have house guests for a few days. Yesterday one of them took their camera to take some scenery pics. Wife asks her to please take our our photo, that we haven't in a while and we need one. After she took a few, wife looks at the results and says "I like the 2nd pic, we can use that one". Mind you this wasn't a private comment.
Do you think this is a comment from a disinterested woman?
So I expect to have her look at her calendar later and then pickup the process where we left off.
I sent a note to candidates telling them that we're up and about and ready to continue our quest with our available dates for a 'meet and greet' along with our photo.
I didn't send all once but each day sent to 1 candidate in order of her preference. I didn't want to have date conflicts. So over the last 6 days I sent 6. Got 2 responses 4 no responses, we have 1 'meet and greet' date set up for tomorrow.
As a side note of how rude it is not to respond. Here I am ready to share the Holy Grail, my wife and her marvelous form, warmth, and pussy and these guys don't even have the common courtesy to say 'thanks but no thanks'.
I didn't send all once but each day sent to 1 candidate in order of her preference. I didn't want to have date conflicts. So over the last 6 days I sent 6. Got 2 responses 4 no responses, we have 1 'meet and greet' date set up for tomorrow.
As a side note of how rude it is not to respond. Here I am ready to share the Holy Grail, my wife and her marvelous form, warmth, and pussy and these guys don't even have the common courtesy to say 'thanks but no thanks'.
Things went, well, not well, not sure.
Yup, that's my assessment.
She made sure to be on-time, unusual considering she is so very time challenged.
We spent a nice 1/2 hour chatting in McD's over coffee. She asked a lot of very good questions; is this your 1st?, are you looking for OTO?, what kind of action takes place - (MFM, MMF, MF M watching, MM F watching)?, where action takes place, home or motel?, is he a social drinker?, etc.
She told him she hasn't yet gotten her head around this yet. She asked him if he was OK with getting together as friends, HUH. I noticed she didn't add the word 'first'.
Told him we would let him either way, nay or yea.
On the way home we started talking which was slowly turning in a argument. She repeated she couldn't get her head around this. That she knows I think it'll help us but she thinks it'll go the other direction. I rhetorically said how much worse can our sex life actually be? Told her we had a few new AFF responses, she wanted to know if they were unsolicited message or responses. She said if she wanted to get laid she doesn't need me. I agreed that is true but this is about US, that her fucking someone on her own would be about HER, NOT US. She said she doesn't like to be watched. To me if feels like she thinks this'll be a cuckold type of encounter not a 3-some type. Not sure it makes a difference. As a side note, when I used to tell her stories during playtime, the stories I told her where she was being watched gave her the most intense orgasms.
I will pick this up again with her Wednesday evening.
At this point all the mixed messages, I couldn't bet on any outcome.
Yup, that's my assessment.
She made sure to be on-time, unusual considering she is so very time challenged.
We spent a nice 1/2 hour chatting in McD's over coffee. She asked a lot of very good questions; is this your 1st?, are you looking for OTO?, what kind of action takes place - (MFM, MMF, MF M watching, MM F watching)?, where action takes place, home or motel?, is he a social drinker?, etc.
She told him she hasn't yet gotten her head around this yet. She asked him if he was OK with getting together as friends, HUH. I noticed she didn't add the word 'first'.
Told him we would let him either way, nay or yea.
On the way home we started talking which was slowly turning in a argument. She repeated she couldn't get her head around this. That she knows I think it'll help us but she thinks it'll go the other direction. I rhetorically said how much worse can our sex life actually be? Told her we had a few new AFF responses, she wanted to know if they were unsolicited message or responses. She said if she wanted to get laid she doesn't need me. I agreed that is true but this is about US, that her fucking someone on her own would be about HER, NOT US. She said she doesn't like to be watched. To me if feels like she thinks this'll be a cuckold type of encounter not a 3-some type. Not sure it makes a difference. As a side note, when I used to tell her stories during playtime, the stories I told her where she was being watched gave her the most intense orgasms.
I will pick this up again with her Wednesday evening.
At this point all the mixed messages, I couldn't bet on any outcome.
2wheel said:
That sounds a lot like your wife told him, "I don't want to do this" (without being quite that direct).
2wheel said:
That's OK. Lots of people.... possibly women to a somewhat greater extent than men.... need to feel like they've become friends with someone before they feel like having sex with that person.
2wheel said:
Then, your wife told you: "I don't want to do this."
2wheel said:
Good reply. I like it. But, your wife's comment and your reply indicate that the aspects of your relationship she values most highly are not aspects that you value highly.
2wheel said:
That's a good point. Some people.... a fairly large percentage of people, I would guess.... consider sex highly private, in part because during sex all of their attention is focussed on their partner and visa-versa. If someone else is present, it's very difficult to perform... get wet and feel properly into it (if female), or get it up and fuck to ejaculation (if male).
2wheel said:
With this, you signaled to your wife you don't get it....
2wheel said:
....so, she spelled it out for you.
Thank you Custer for breaking it down into pieces. Of course everything you say is absolutely accurate.
We've all heard the line:
don't .... stop
don't ... stop
don't .. stop
don't . stop
don't stop
This may be the case in a single event if/once we get started. It might be for future events if/once we get started. Not sure is this is before we get started.
My alternative isn't pretty.
We've all heard the line:
don't .... stop
don't ... stop
don't .. stop
don't . stop
don't stop
This may be the case in a single event if/once we get started. It might be for future events if/once we get started. Not sure is this is before we get started.
My alternative isn't pretty.
