I've been thinking about this since the conversation began while we were away. The paragraphs below were written mainly on Monday and I've decided to leave them as-is rather than modify them.
To answer Rick's last question in my earlier thread - Sue did wait till Tuesday, after our return from vacation, to see Robert - I think for 2 reasons: one was that we knew we had a very long Monday ahead of us, but two, I like to think, was that I left her pretty well satisfied!!! lol.....
And now for what I had started the other day....
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There's no better way to start it than to just jump in and say that Sue used the word slut to describe herself when we were away because she meant it.
Maybe CSC has it right.
Last night after we started talking she said that she's been letting herself think about things that she never would have before. It began weeks ago - actually before our big conversation that seemed to have opened things up between us. She said that in the heat of passion she'd say things to Robert that she'd later be embarrassed or reluctant to talk about. As I shared here - a gang bang or strangers or whatever. She admitted that it made the sex between them hotter - at times she said he would stop fucking her all of a sudden and "make" her talk or say something. She says mainly he enjoys hearing her ask to be fucked harder or deeper - but at other times she says he's done what we've done - talk about it in the present and not in the abstract - where she (both of them actually) will tell her how he feels and what she's thinking.
But what they talked about isn't the big thing - it's that in the last few months, she's realizing a lot about herself - and she's recognizing (and willing to admit) that one of the things she never did was what everyone assumed, that when she went on the pill as a teenager, that everyone assumed it was because she was or would be sexually active. And she said that - as I've said here - that there have only been a few times in her life where she let her desires out - back in college for a little bit and then again after her divorce where she said quite candidly "I slept around a LOT that year". As she continued she said that it's only now, again, that she is feeling like she can let these - obviously repressed - fantasies/thoughts/desires out. And she looked at me and held me tightly and said that it's because of me - because of how I've been with her throughout these past few years that she says she feels like she can share this with me a bit more.
I was honest - as I've posted here since Day 1 - that I knew this part of her was in there - and I told her how I could see it come out at times and how I could see the other guys helped her want it for herself. And I told her that as long as she wanted it for herself that it was something I'd be happy about.
It seemed like a logjam had been broken free. She looked at me and she said "it makes me feel slutty to only have my lover cum in me". She said it just like that - in total seriousness. Oh - she blamed me too - saying this wasn't what she'd thought about when all of this started - that she'd "behave like a slut and enjoy it!". And whereas she said that in a deadpan, she immediately pulled me close and said she loved me and thanked me for letting her get this out of her.
To answer Peaks question - I did ask her what she thought was in store for the future and at one point I joked with her "will I be arranging a gang-bang anytime soon?". She giggled and punched me and said "no silly - that's the point - it doesn't have to happen for me ... er ... us to enjoy it!". I'm sure she wanted me to hear something else in what she said but what I heard was that she didn't say she didn't want it to happen, just that it didn't "have to happen". So - in my head - Peak - anything goes!
What she did say again is what I'd started to post the other day - and that's that she's feeling that she is now feeling what she thought she could only feel if she had the proverbial "affair". Filling in the blanks in what she said and paraphrasing a bit - when she had thought she wanted to "fall in love" with Robert and do the whole affair thing - that she thought that would be the only way to experience something that she thought was what her desires were.
She said that she felt like she was holding back and just needed Mr. Right to unlock for her - and admitted that Don was close as he made her see that she did have desires. But what she really said was that it's been my acceptance and my willingness to open up myself that let her feel like she could. She looked at me and said that she never felt she could tell me she fantasized about a gang-bang or getting pregnant from Robert - and she said that even though she thought/knew they'd turn me on - that she just never felt she could open up about it. She held my hand and said that my admission that it turned me on myself and not just for her about not cumming in her. She said that admission by me, at least she thinks, is what made her realize she could tell me.
It all seemed surreal to me and I even told her "you sound like a guy with these thoughts" - never thinking that maybe my own desires had become hers too over these years of my and then subsequently, mutual for us. She said that she'd never let herself admit to thinking about it but now that she'd said it, she felt like - as I shared - that "we can have fun with it". As I mentioned that I was "okay" using condoms with her - the conversation continued with her admitting that "knowing my pussy is just for my lover's cum" was a massive turn-on to her and she seemed almost intoxicated that I found arousal in that too. And that is what led into the intense time fucking her just after that.
---
To answer Rick's last question in my earlier thread - Sue did wait till Tuesday, after our return from vacation, to see Robert - I think for 2 reasons: one was that we knew we had a very long Monday ahead of us, but two, I like to think, was that I left her pretty well satisfied!!! lol.....
And now for what I had started the other day....
----
There's no better way to start it than to just jump in and say that Sue used the word slut to describe herself when we were away because she meant it.
Maybe CSC has it right.
Last night after we started talking she said that she's been letting herself think about things that she never would have before. It began weeks ago - actually before our big conversation that seemed to have opened things up between us. She said that in the heat of passion she'd say things to Robert that she'd later be embarrassed or reluctant to talk about. As I shared here - a gang bang or strangers or whatever. She admitted that it made the sex between them hotter - at times she said he would stop fucking her all of a sudden and "make" her talk or say something. She says mainly he enjoys hearing her ask to be fucked harder or deeper - but at other times she says he's done what we've done - talk about it in the present and not in the abstract - where she (both of them actually) will tell her how he feels and what she's thinking.
But what they talked about isn't the big thing - it's that in the last few months, she's realizing a lot about herself - and she's recognizing (and willing to admit) that one of the things she never did was what everyone assumed, that when she went on the pill as a teenager, that everyone assumed it was because she was or would be sexually active. And she said that - as I've said here - that there have only been a few times in her life where she let her desires out - back in college for a little bit and then again after her divorce where she said quite candidly "I slept around a LOT that year". As she continued she said that it's only now, again, that she is feeling like she can let these - obviously repressed - fantasies/thoughts/desires out. And she looked at me and held me tightly and said that it's because of me - because of how I've been with her throughout these past few years that she says she feels like she can share this with me a bit more.
I was honest - as I've posted here since Day 1 - that I knew this part of her was in there - and I told her how I could see it come out at times and how I could see the other guys helped her want it for herself. And I told her that as long as she wanted it for herself that it was something I'd be happy about.
It seemed like a logjam had been broken free. She looked at me and she said "it makes me feel slutty to only have my lover cum in me". She said it just like that - in total seriousness. Oh - she blamed me too - saying this wasn't what she'd thought about when all of this started - that she'd "behave like a slut and enjoy it!". And whereas she said that in a deadpan, she immediately pulled me close and said she loved me and thanked me for letting her get this out of her.
To answer Peaks question - I did ask her what she thought was in store for the future and at one point I joked with her "will I be arranging a gang-bang anytime soon?". She giggled and punched me and said "no silly - that's the point - it doesn't have to happen for me ... er ... us to enjoy it!". I'm sure she wanted me to hear something else in what she said but what I heard was that she didn't say she didn't want it to happen, just that it didn't "have to happen". So - in my head - Peak - anything goes!
What she did say again is what I'd started to post the other day - and that's that she's feeling that she is now feeling what she thought she could only feel if she had the proverbial "affair". Filling in the blanks in what she said and paraphrasing a bit - when she had thought she wanted to "fall in love" with Robert and do the whole affair thing - that she thought that would be the only way to experience something that she thought was what her desires were.
She said that she felt like she was holding back and just needed Mr. Right to unlock for her - and admitted that Don was close as he made her see that she did have desires. But what she really said was that it's been my acceptance and my willingness to open up myself that let her feel like she could. She looked at me and said that she never felt she could tell me she fantasized about a gang-bang or getting pregnant from Robert - and she said that even though she thought/knew they'd turn me on - that she just never felt she could open up about it. She held my hand and said that my admission that it turned me on myself and not just for her about not cumming in her. She said that admission by me, at least she thinks, is what made her realize she could tell me.
It all seemed surreal to me and I even told her "you sound like a guy with these thoughts" - never thinking that maybe my own desires had become hers too over these years of my and then subsequently, mutual for us. She said that she'd never let herself admit to thinking about it but now that she'd said it, she felt like - as I shared - that "we can have fun with it". As I mentioned that I was "okay" using condoms with her - the conversation continued with her admitting that "knowing my pussy is just for my lover's cum" was a massive turn-on to her and she seemed almost intoxicated that I found arousal in that too. And that is what led into the intense time fucking her just after that.
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