Her latest thoughts

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I've been thinking about this since the conversation began while we were away. The paragraphs below were written mainly on Monday and I've decided to leave them as-is rather than modify them.

To answer Rick's last question in my earlier thread - Sue did wait till Tuesday, after our return from vacation, to see Robert - I think for 2 reasons: one was that we knew we had a very long Monday ahead of us, but two, I like to think, was that I left her pretty well satisfied!!! lol.....

And now for what I had started the other day....

----

There's no better way to start it than to just jump in and say that Sue used the word slut to describe herself when we were away because she meant it.

Maybe CSC has it right.

Last night after we started talking she said that she's been letting herself think about things that she never would have before. It began weeks ago - actually before our big conversation that seemed to have opened things up between us. She said that in the heat of passion she'd say things to Robert that she'd later be embarrassed or reluctant to talk about. As I shared here - a gang bang or strangers or whatever. She admitted that it made the sex between them hotter - at times she said he would stop fucking her all of a sudden and "make" her talk or say something. She says mainly he enjoys hearing her ask to be fucked harder or deeper - but at other times she says he's done what we've done - talk about it in the present and not in the abstract - where she (both of them actually) will tell her how he feels and what she's thinking.

But what they talked about isn't the big thing - it's that in the last few months, she's realizing a lot about herself - and she's recognizing (and willing to admit) that one of the things she never did was what everyone assumed, that when she went on the pill as a teenager, that everyone assumed it was because she was or would be sexually active. And she said that - as I've said here - that there have only been a few times in her life where she let her desires out - back in college for a little bit and then again after her divorce where she said quite candidly "I slept around a LOT that year". As she continued she said that it's only now, again, that she is feeling like she can let these - obviously repressed - fantasies/thoughts/desires out. And she looked at me and held me tightly and said that it's because of me - because of how I've been with her throughout these past few years that she says she feels like she can share this with me a bit more.

I was honest - as I've posted here since Day 1 - that I knew this part of her was in there - and I told her how I could see it come out at times and how I could see the other guys helped her want it for herself. And I told her that as long as she wanted it for herself that it was something I'd be happy about.

It seemed like a logjam had been broken free. She looked at me and she said "it makes me feel slutty to only have my lover cum in me". She said it just like that - in total seriousness. Oh - she blamed me too - saying this wasn't what she'd thought about when all of this started - that she'd "behave like a slut and enjoy it!". And whereas she said that in a deadpan, she immediately pulled me close and said she loved me and thanked me for letting her get this out of her.

To answer Peaks question - I did ask her what she thought was in store for the future and at one point I joked with her "will I be arranging a gang-bang anytime soon?". She giggled and punched me and said "no silly - that's the point - it doesn't have to happen for me ... er ... us to enjoy it!". I'm sure she wanted me to hear something else in what she said but what I heard was that she didn't say she didn't want it to happen, just that it didn't "have to happen". So - in my head - Peak - anything goes!

What she did say again is what I'd started to post the other day - and that's that she's feeling that she is now feeling what she thought she could only feel if she had the proverbial "affair". Filling in the blanks in what she said and paraphrasing a bit - when she had thought she wanted to "fall in love" with Robert and do the whole affair thing - that she thought that would be the only way to experience something that she thought was what her desires were.

She said that she felt like she was holding back and just needed Mr. Right to unlock for her - and admitted that Don was close as he made her see that she did have desires. But what she really said was that it's been my acceptance and my willingness to open up myself that let her feel like she could. She looked at me and said that she never felt she could tell me she fantasized about a gang-bang or getting pregnant from Robert - and she said that even though she thought/knew they'd turn me on - that she just never felt she could open up about it. She held my hand and said that my admission that it turned me on myself and not just for her about not cumming in her. She said that admission by me, at least she thinks, is what made her realize she could tell me.

It all seemed surreal to me and I even told her "you sound like a guy with these thoughts" - never thinking that maybe my own desires had become hers too over these years of my and then subsequently, mutual for us. She said that she'd never let herself admit to thinking about it but now that she'd said it, she felt like - as I shared - that "we can have fun with it". As I mentioned that I was "okay" using condoms with her - the conversation continued with her admitting that "knowing my pussy is just for my lover's cum" was a massive turn-on to her and she seemed almost intoxicated that I found arousal in that too. And that is what led into the intense time fucking her just after that.

---
 
Harry - saw your other update to my earlier thread and I can answer you about her "meaningful" comment. What I recall is that she was explaining how she felt asking me such a thing - and was explaining that it turns her on that I use condoms with her. It was more of a comment on what is rather than a comment about past or future.

To answer Dana's questions - yes - last night we did resume our "regularly scheduled programming" for Wednesdays - and yes, she made it clear that now that she is home and is seeing Robert again, that she would very much like me to resume using condoms with her. She was much more animated and open about it and said many times that it "touches me" in a way she'd never expected to feel when she thinks that within our loving marriage, that she only wants her lover to cum in her. She says that any time she thinks about it or feels anything sexual - she giggled and said "it must be what you feel at times - just turned on by thinking about it".

I'll post more later today about last night and some of what we talked very openly about.
 
STB,
Thanks for the update. I appreciate you must have been very busy to hold off posting until today.


You seem to have left yourself with some unanswered questions. Ones that perhaps even you don't yet know the answers to, but it looks like in the new spirit of even greater openness, you may know more soon. Maybe that makes you SoonToBe Told!

I'm curious to know what you think though about a few things.

Did you get any sense from Sue about when the affair with Robert will actually end. I understand she may start to help him find a new lover, and maybe stay with him until that gets serious, but that could take months, years.

Does your earlier comment about 'same as before' mean you can now expect to have to wait to be invited into your wife's pussy, be expected to wear a condom and teased / denied the rest of the time? Do you still think Sue would comply with a firm request by you for relief without these conditions?

When can you see your next bareback opportunity coming up (intended)?

Do you still think you are one of the luckiest men on this site? .. because I do!
 
Peak - what I am feeling, especially after last night, is that she is enjoying the freedom she seems to feel right now. Sort of like a kid in a candy store. It's a bit of a surprise but then, it explains a lot - of what I saw and remembered from so long ago, to what I've seen at times like on vacations and such where I'd see a glimpse of that side of her. But now, she's apparently accepting that she has had these thoughts simmering under the surface all along.

Some of it has become more and more clear - she's tried to explain how it makes her feel to "know" that me, her husband, doesn't cum in her. She says that she is doing this now (for lack of a better way to say it) after almost 30 years together - she can't explain it all - but she says that it makes her feel incredibly sexual and incredibly horny to, as I said, let herself think and know that she only wants her lover's cum to be in her. She said that she knew I enjoyed some aspects of this but that it is truly her own desire that has led her to, now openly, ask me to do so. I asked her if I'd spurred this desire in her through my own thoughts and she said no - and she said that while we both seem to enjoy the results, she says that she knows the feeling is rooted differently in both of us - she knows that I am aroused by the denial aspect of it but she says that it isn't denying me that turns her on. It took me a little bit to understand this but she says that she's not turned on by denying me, but more that she is only having him. I understood what she meant - putting it in a way that made more sense to me, I said "so it'd turn you on to only have him even if we didn't have sex at all" (don't read into that - it was meant to separate her enjoyment of it from the part of denying me - not as a comment on not having sex with me at all because she's been quite clear about that - that she still enjoys it with me quite a lot).

She hasn't spoken in specifics about when things may cool with Robert. If anything, she is somewhat deferring to him since - as she admits - she's quite content with things right now!!! But I do see things that are different - as you pointed out - she didn't run over there on Monday despite obviously knowing he'd have wanted her then. So there are some signs - another one - not seeing him till tomorrow (not tonight). I also think that as others pointed out - the time we had together while we were away may also have affected her.

Regarding whether I could, in a way, exercise a safe-word and ask for her bare - yes, I'm actually more convinced of that now, mainly because of the type of response I had from her when I did not ask for it when we were away right away - it's mainly in how I felt she reacted to my accepting her desires that I really do feel they'd be reciprocated should I ever really need it.

But when you ask about whether I now need to be "invited" to have sex with her - no, I don't think we've returned to that. I know that come tomorrow night and over the weekend, that I expect to resume what I'd think are more normal sexual relations with her including my seduction of her if necessary!!! lol.... But then again, with her new desire to openly embrace and "have fun" with some of this more explicit type of sex stuff - that I can't really answer just yet, but I expect to have fun exploring it all this weekend.

We will be going away in October for the fall foliage as well as birthday/anniversary celebrating - I expect that will be when she will want me bare again. It still feels strange/weird to say that I don't think I'll mind using condoms till then. But if I have time to post some of what came up last night it might explain things a little more in general about what she's thinking for us now in light of her latest thoughts....
 
STB

is it a good thing that you and sue are back to your normal. great update and it does sound like sue is cutting back a little with robert.

but do you think that she could go wide open with it if she see's it drawing to a close. to get all she can out of it at the end.

how would you feel if all she wanted to do was see robert in the end.

good luck and enjoy. keep us posted.
 
Dana - anything could be possible with how things play out with Robert in the end - a slow fade out or a big blowout at the end - either way it's something she'll have to decide.

I'll share that last night - we both enjoyed our newfound openness with each other. She asked and I felt comfortable talking about it - and it actually felt good to talk to her. I told her that I understood her arousal with me not cumming in her and that I was thinking about it as I masturbated with her last night. She cooed and wanted to hear me tell her more. The lights were dimmed and again, I more talked at the ceiling than at her but I told her that it turned me on that she only wanted Robert to cum in her. I told her that I knew that was why she'd enjoyed watching me masturbate going back many many months now. She giggled and said that over time she'd really begun to like watching me - especially when she'd hear me moan and then watch me coax my cum out. I told her that with her admission - that it made me even hornier to know that she didn't want me to cum in her.

Obviously the subject of condoms came up and she asked me to tell her how I felt using them with her. I told her that it turned me on to know what she was asking me to do and that when I roll one up onto my hard cock - that it makes me even harder knowing why I'm doing it. I told her that I missed feeling her bare but then said that using condoms was nowhere near as bad as I'd remembered and that the knowledge that I couldn't touch the inside of her pussy with my cock was something that made me insanely horny. She smiled at me and said "I bought you some more - they're in the nightstand". Damn if that didn't really push me - that she'd gone out already and bought them.

As her part of the conversation she told me how erotic and sexual she feels when Robert cums in her - and how when she feels his semen wet between her labia later on - how it turns her on (as I've already said many times earlier) to know that only Robert is cumming in her. She did tease and taunt me that "he's cum so much in me now" and she proceeded to recap what I shared while we were away, that he'd cum in her some 20-30 times since the last time I'd had her bare. She asked me what I thought and felt about that - and I was honest - I told her that it turned me on that his semen was coating the inside of her pussy so much - and I told her that I often thought that "it all doesn't leak out - it turns me on to think of your body absorbing his cum". Wow did that make her squeal. I also told her that in my head, his semen had his hormones in it and that in my head, the more they fucked, the more she wanted him only to cum in her. She was quiet and told me that I wasn't wrong and she reminded me that she'd already told me that - where she felt more attraction towards him the more he was the only one to cum in her. She even told me that she'd sometimes thought that was what had led her to finally open up - these effects. I swear - I did not prompt her to say this stuff.

I told her that knowing she was carrying his cum in her almost all the time was something that made me horny every time I look at her. She coaxed me to "tell me more" and I told her that lately whenever I looked at her that all I could think about was his semen seeping out of her wet pussy. She giggled and said "you wouldn't be wrong a lot of the time".

We talked about her wearing panties around the house and she asked me if it turned me on. I told her in no uncertain terms that not seeing her pussy when she was intimate with Robert really heightened my arousal especially if I knew how she was beneath them. She asked me if that was the only time she "should wear them" after she'd been with him and I said honestly to her that it was ultimately up to her but that it did turn me on to be denied sight of her pussy for most of the week until the weekend. She giggled and cooed back that "we'll see - but maybe I'll give you some surprise peeks or more" and she mentioned how "sometimes I still want you to take care of me" (meaning licking her).

It was when she started to tell me how she loved to spread her legs apart and "give myself to him" that it really began to push me close to my first orgasm with her. She said what she's said about all of her lovers once she's comfortable with them - that she loves to "let him see all of me" and she admitted that doing so makes her feel like she is "more his".

All I can say is that all of the conversation really got my balls in a boil. Hearing her tell me of giving herself to her lover and hearing her gush about how deep and hot his cum is when she feels it inside her - well - that was it - a moment later I moaned and she knew what was coming. She leaned down closer to my rapidly moving hand and she just moaned "let me see your cum" - and that was it - a second later I erupted and I think even a little bit landed on her face or chin because she moved back quickly but never moved away!
 
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wow. Well done you two for making it work so well for both of you! We are all as hard as you... well maybe not quite as hard as you! ;-)
 
STB

is sue going out with robert tonight . and is she going to see him over the long weekend as well.

do you and sue have any fun time set up for the long weekend. and do you plan touse one of the new condoms this weekend.

keep us posted.
 
It's 2:30pm while I just got home from work, I also know that Sue left work at 1pm and I am just now recognizing that she is likely with Robert right now - and my cock hardened up just as I thought about that.

Having a little time on my hands and having had a bit of time to think about things - I have to, in some ways, pat myself on the back - it's taken 4+ years but she's come to where I'd wanted her to be - or more that she's accepting the things that I always knew were under the surface. I admit it is quite erotic to fantasize openly with her about more and more explicit sexual things but having her respond so readily and more importantly, as explicitly, it's such a weird thing to actually experience.

I don't know how other cuckolds here feel, and as I've posted, there are many times when I think that what I like or am enjoying is just too bizarre - but then there is reality and the reality is that I like that she is fucking Robert. I like knowing he's filling her pussy with cum. It seems crazy but yet it is all I can think about when I look at her - that her most intimate places are filled with another mans cum. Even now I have my cock out and I'm stroking away as I am typing this - the thought just consumes me at times. But I do genuinely like that she spreads her legs for other guys.

It isn't always easy to talk as openly as it is at other times - but she really does make it easy to tell her stuff. I'm still not totally comfortable with baring my soul to her - yes because I still have some depraved thoughts, but also because it's just something that still feels awkward at times. But when she will respond in kind and will coax it out of me, as she enjoys doing on Wednesdays, then I do have to say that it feels incredible to not only be able to tell her weird stuff, but that she'll go along with it and not feel offended or disgusted.

I don't know of her plans for Monday yet - she may be planning on a rendezvous of some sort - she's said she'd be home by dinnertime tonight so I'm sure I'll find out more then. And yes, I noticed a new box of condoms has appeared in her nightstand - and as I promised her, I'll certainly be using them this weekend. As I've posted already, strangely, that thought is arousing to me!

It's kind of consuming my thoughts that she's with him right now - I can clearly imagine her in a variety of positions.....
 
She texted that she'd be home by 5:30pm or so - only 15 minutes now so I'm quite excited.

And that's what prompted me to come back and post one more thought - that even after all this time - it still turns me on to no end to know what she's doing. Knowing she's driving home right not to come home to me - yes, pussy obviously full of cum and all - but that it still turns me on to know what she's doing and that I still eagerly want her to come home - well, it just makes me feel good knowing it.

I'm not sure if I posted here or not but I'll be confirming it this weekend - but what I'm feeling is that she wants a bit of a return to what had been our normal routine of her and I just having sex over the weekend, after she's been to see Robert (as it was with Frank and Don before that) and of her teasing me in various stages - panties? - during the time between. The only, obvious, difference is that in this return to normalcy she's asked me to continue using condoms with her.

I keep telling myself I should be horrified by this - I just have these horrible memories of using condoms long ago - and then, yes some more pleasurable ones in the not so distant past. But now - I almost want to use them with her - yes, in a way to preserve her as she wishes for her enjoyment with her lover and for herself. And it's the last part that I think does it for me - that this time, it's truly what SHE wants - and it is such a turn-on to play with her with it like we are.

I will share before ending this post that I wonder how this would have played out with Don had I been this receptive to using condoms - whether that might have changed things and whether she might be with him. She still speaks of him at times in terms of what he seemed to bring out in her even before she was ready to accept it. But with that same thought, I will also say that I do not know how all of this would have worked out for me had this been something of Roberts desire and that I felt it wasn't something she truly wanted for herself. I don't know that I could have accepted that as a reason before - and I will say that I am not sure if I could accept that in the future.

Enough pondering and thought for now.
 
STB,
You have made this an interesting week for us. Yet again, a holiday has acted as a catalyst for change with Sue and yourself. Her first time back with Robert was always going to be just a big catch up. Full on passion. It will be interesting to see how she was last night and over the next few weeks. If she pulls away at all, and if so in which direction. You might even benefit from any change!
 
STB

how did it go with sue when she got home from bobbie's house last night. and does she plan to see him on monday again.

great poat peak. i was thinking the samething.

stb have a good long weekend and hope you get to enjoy sue somemore.

keep us posted.
 
Peak - you're correct - there's been a subtle but noticeable change in Sue's attitude toward Robert since we returned. Perhaps a little less imperative in her desires with him. She isn't going to see him tomorrow but has said that she will definitely be seeing him on Tuesday.

Friday evening was tortuous at first with her arriving home by about 5:45pm as if she'd just come from work when I knew better. I didn't chase her around the house - she kissed me and whispered to me "hope you're ready for me later" so I knew I should bide my time. Fortunately, our son who'd come home from college for the long weekend took his sister our for ice-cream and to meet up with her boyfriend so we had the house to ourselves for a while.

There was no secret that she'd spent the afternoon with him but when we were alone she teased me "so, wanna go up to the bedroom?" with this almost sarcastic tone and she giggled when I told her "hell yeah....". We kissed and she let me undo her top and unclip her bra right there in the living room and just as I was sucking her second nipple to hardness she moaned and pulled away and I chased her up to the bedroom.

She "allowed" me to do the honors of undoing her pants and she smiled broadly when I pulled just her pants off leaving her panties - now with a visible wet-spot between her legs. We both lay back on the bed and she told me "you can have fun".... and then added "but stay on the outside, okay baby?".... Oh god did that get me turned on. As we kissed I ran my hand from her breasts to just the edge of the waistband of her panties. I think she thought I was going to go underneath but instead I whispered to her how it turned me on that she had these wet panties on and that was all that was in between my hand and her sweet pussy. She squealed as I rubbed her pussy all around and I could feel every nook and cranny through the taut cotton. Even the lacy edges between her legs were dampened. But what really struck me was the smell as I rubbed her - I guess beneath the panties, her pussy must have opened up because the stretched material went from damp to wet very quickly and the smell of cum filled the air. She giggled as she felt me feeling all around until she finally said "you can take them off you know"... and a second later as she felt me pulling at the waistband she said "just.... you know.... like I said.... " and with that I moved up and kissed her and I looked at her from only inches away from her face and I said in the sexiest voice I could "I know baby, I'll leave it all inside you".

A second later she lifted her butt and I slid the wet panties off her. The lights were on in the room - she hasn't cared about that in ages now - and what I saw even made me catch my breath. Apparently they'd made up for lost time because her entire pussy was soaked and what little pubic hair she had left untrimmed was now matted down. But what struck me most was how her vagina just sort of gaped open a bit - the lips were swollen and separated, especially at the bottom where I could see clearly inside her where the sticky mess inside her just glistened.

She leaned up onto her elbows and said "you wanna lick me a little?". In one motion I moaned a "uh huh!!!!" to her and I leaned forward to begin licking away at her. It tortured me to stay away from sinking my tongue deep into her - but she was very receptive to me tracing it around what I could now feel was the swollen opening to her vagina. As I ran my tongue around the tired ring of her hole she moaned deeply and seemed to totally relax beneath me. I licked the flat of my tongue against the insides of her labia just edging the sweet center that I was prohibited from. She moaned again as I folded the lips together towards one side and I ran my tongue all the way up until I just gently chewed at her swollen clit still in it's hood. As I moved up the other side she put her hand against the back of my head and as I got to the top of the right side - she pulled me tightly and I licked, sucked and gently nibbled at her clit until she moaned loudly and I felt her body tremble beneath me.

For as much as I'm sure Robert fucked her - when she came under my tongue, I tasted more of her sweet juices than the tang of his semen. But no matter - just the thought that I was licking the cum from her pussy that he'd fucked into it was incredibly arousing - but tasting the unmistakeable sweetness of her cum was what really got to me - that she still had more desire for passion in her!!!

I had a raging hard-on but the taste and sensation of licking at her pussy - but not pushing into her - licking at what seemed to seep from her - it was just incredible. I literally felt like I could have laid there all night - with her fingers gently running through my hair - and as she encouraged me to keep going she even pulled her legs back and wide for me - but all the while she would say, every now and then "not in me baby".

Finally - I admit that I couldn't take it much longer. If I stroked my cock I feared I'd cum so instead I was rubbing it gently against the bed-sheets feeling it so hard and knowing that I needed to be in her soon. When I felt her come down from one more orgasm I knew it was my turn. When I pulled my face and head up she groggily opened her eyes and looked up at me. As I knelt there she looked down at my hands and a huge smile came to her face when she saw me unroll a condom over my cock.

I know I've sometimes wondered if it really turns her on or if she's just saying it. But Friday night - the look on her face as I pulled the condom fully into place - the way she just lay her head back, closed her eyes and smiled - well, lets just say that it really left me no doubt that she loved that I'd do it for her - as she'd said - without her asking or having to remind me. Of course - she now knows pretty clearly that it's something I get a perverse sense of pleasure from too.

I can remember when I was younger - that I'd sometimes put a condom on and my cock would go soft or wouldn't stay as hard as it was. But not now - I can't explain it but I think my cock gets even bigger when I put the condom on!!! All I can say is that her eyes opened wide as I pushed my cock into her and she squealed and moaned "oh god - you feel huge!". And after a few moments of fucking she even leaned up onto her elbows to watch me fucking her and she said again "damn - you feel bigger than ever!!!". Talk about an ego boost. Even I could feel her pussy respond through the thin latex.

As we got into fucking I pushed her knees way back and I started really plunging deep into her. As I did, it seemed like a flood of wetness filled her pussy and all I could think in my head was "oh, this is where all his cum is" - way up inside her! But now - it was lubricating her pussy so it felt like silky butter as I plunged away.

These "bare" condoms really let you feel it - and I could not only feel how wet she was, how open she was, but also how hot it was so deep inside her. It was like lava in there and as it spread - the both of us could feel it and wow - she started to thrash around beneath me. Enough that you'd never have guessed that she'd spent the afternoon just a few hours earlier having the same kind of intense sex. But there was no mistaking it - she was cumming like a fountain beneath me and after she'd peaked one more time her pussy seemed to finally give out. Maybe that's the feeling of being totally "fucked out" - but after that point, she was like jelly beneath me and her pussy seemed to go totally relaxed. And while it certainly decreased the friction and feeling I had - at the same time - there can be no more intense feeling than for her pussy to go slack like that and just feel like it's waiting for me.

I do wish I could have cum and filled her with my semen - I know that it felt like it boiled out of me as I came profusely in her pussy - but nonetheless, she made an effort at the end to tighten it up just a little and wow, that was how she felt as I pushed into her for the last two or three thrusts. Afterwards we both just lay there together. I could feel her body beneath me - she felt hot and sweaty - but her pussy just felt like an empty glove, warm, wet and limp. She didn't even move as I got up to my knees but she did get herself up on her elbows as I pulled out of her - and my god did she have a glow about her when she saw the tip of the condom was filled and how halfway up my cock there was cum all around it.

I lay back as she did the honor of removing the condom and I was pleasantly surprised when she leaned over and sucked my cock clean. After that though, I wasn't surprised when she moved right up and snowballed with me! After we lay back against the bed she held the full condom in her hands and pulled me over onto her and kissed me passionately - she played with my cum in the tip of the condom for a second and then she looked at me and said "thank you, I love you baby". I was about to get out of bed when she coughed and said "ahem?". It was my turn to giggle as she spread her legs beneath me and said "you made me all messy again". I smiled at her playfulness and as I leaned forward to lick her pussy and thighs clean she gigged and again said "thank you - I love sharing with you like this".

I need to finish this soon - so I'll just add that we didn't do anything last night but she's been hinting all day today that "we should open that bottle of wine later....".
 
STB

great update hope you and sue enjoy your holiday.

keep us posted.

ps has sue said how her and robert will go from here.
 
Wow STB, your mutual joys and love jeeps growing. Communication, compassion, and the wish to be good to one another shines through.
Interesting, Sue's intensity toward Robert appears to be declining. One could say that is due to knowing the relationship must end sometime, or a decline in novality, and the acknowledgement that new lovers are in her future. But instaed, as Sue generally does, I think she has stated the key reason, that being how easily you two 'got back together' again during vacation and how fulfilling it was for you both. It appears to me that Sue is headed for an accomodation--twice a week with her lover, teases to you at all times, condom sex generally one per weekend with you (more on holiday weekends) and a very loving demeaner and even more playfulness between you. Your care for Sue, and your communication sincerity have carried you two through shoals many couples would crash upon. Cpngrats.
 
Just a moment for an update but last night was quite nice for both of us. She was quite into prolonging foreplay - she giggled at how long she had me hard for before we got down to business.

We talked, again, quite openly and she seemed much more at ease in sharing her thoughts. She said several times how wonderful it was that I was okay about using condoms with her and she even admitted that it's become a bit of a fetish with her (not her words) that she wants to only feel Robert in her. She said several times how erotic and how incredibly sexual she feels all the time knowing what we're doing and said that many times she'll feel herself get wet "out of nowhere", or that when she's showering or getting changed, that at times she'll put her fingers in her pussy and when she feels how wet she is and "knowing it's my lovers" - she almost seemed to cum just from telling me that. I guess the worry she may have felt about me is now gone because she seemed to have no qualms about telling me how she feels. As we talked, she seemed very comforted by how into it was with her. I told her that it made me horny just to look at her and think that she can feel his cum all slippery between her pussy lips. She giggled and asked me to tell her more.

And - my time is up for now.... More later...
 
Great STB, I knew condoms wouldn't be anything but exciting for both of you. It is amazing how much Sue wants this but what does surprise me is how much she is letting you use them. I thought for sure she would go back to spacing your penetration out more than she is. It would be good for you I bet. Also, do you see a day where you two will discuss what she wants next and if you will have any additional imput as maybe being able to watch her with her next lover or watching them out on a date like when she did with Don. That was an amazing time, what are your thoughts?
 
One other thing, maybe Sue could get some pictures of their love making for you before her time is up with Robbie that way you can see what he looks like after the fact? Hmmm
 
My thoughts earlier were to share what I told her. It's actually something I wanted to put down here because I've been thinking about it - and now, talking about it with her.

Far2 - while you are talking about how frequently we are having sex - I also just have to post here that while the condoms truly aren't so bad - it is much more the mental angst I feel and the edge I feel we are riding in terms of borderline denial. I told Sue that one of the things that turned me on to think about is that Robert gets to feel all of her - and I told her openly that it turned me on to continue to think of this stranger who is now the only one to feel her pussy bare. I told her that it drives me crazy to know that she wants to do this - but I also made no mystery that yes, it turns me on immensely to think that only he is cumming her.

She cooed and was just so playful as I told her this. She rubbed the bare head of my cock up and down between her pussy lips and taunted me that "this is all you get to feel baby" - knowing how turned on I was at the thoughts. At another point she pulled me close and told me how hot I was making her and how she wanted to feel me in her.

I told her again of how much it turned me on about what she is doing. She seemed to really be into hearing me tell it to her so as she rubbed the tip of my cock up and down she coaxed me to tell her more. I would pause momentarily with my cock poised at the wet opening to her vagina and she and I both knew that I could have easily leaned forward and pushed into her without any effort - I did tease her and almost pushed the head of my cock into her and man did she moan - but she squealed even more as I pulled it out and resumed rubbing it up and down.

I felt like I was almost in a trance - like I was watching all of this from the other side of the room or something. She was moaning pretty loudly but it sounded like just a faint echo for a little while there. All I could think about was how sweet her pussy felt and how if I wanted more of it - that I needed to put a condom on. In my head - it became like the most intense moment of it all. I pulled back for a moment and I looked at her and I can't explain the really wonderful feeling that came over me looking at her like that. Her pussy was spread apart in all its glory - and I do mean spread and wet from my cock rubbing up and down and bringing out whatever remained in her. It went from a distinct pink on the outsides to a glowing red on the inside.

I know it's going to sound like BS or something like that but I have to say, how clearer can it be, that I truly enjoy her fucking him. Seeing her spread like that and knowing that I am voluntarily giving it up (or so I tell myself) and giving this pleasure to her - and in turn - him. It's weird to really feel at that moment - something I just can't explain other than to say at that moment - in my head, putting on that condom and then having intense sex with her - knowing she's getting off on it too (and damn if I didn't feel it again from her as her pussy got soaking wet).

There's probably some here who can relate to the feeling. It feels good to give into something that seems so forbidden. It feels intense to want my wife, maybe even more, because of what she's doing. Fucking her - even with the condom on - looking down at her naked body and knowing Robert enjoys her this same way!!!! I don't fully understand it - other than to say that it just friggin' turns me on.

I'll admit that at time I wonder and even think it might be true - that I'm living out some unlocked fantasy of mine through her. I know that I'd long joked but was serious that if in some sort of dream world I was a woman - I'd be the biggest slut there was. Am I, in a way, living this out vicariously through Sue? I've thought about it - it's kind of weird - but that's the only thing I can think of that would maybe be some kind of crazy psych theory on what turns me on so much about her doing this.

So - Far2 - yes, I guess I'm a little surprised too. But she's said it turns her on - so maybe it's just that? Not sure. I know that the whole scene has brought out a fire in her that's been simmering, I guess, for a while now. I haven't discussed with her anything else - not about the future and not about denying me more, etc.

One thing I have thought about is asking her if I could maybe watch her once before things calm down between her and Robert. I will ask her but for right now, I want to watch and see what happens going into the fall season - I know that we are both coming into a busy period at work before the holidays are upon us in just another 8 weeks or so. But yes, I've thought that it would be intense to put some true images to the visions I've long had. I don't think that either of us want something as "public" as that was with Don - she's mentioned that she doesn't like how she felt treating me that way in front of others. Pictures - I would hope - would be something I could do as part of observing them.

I'll just close by sharing the thought that while this seems easy on the surface, most of the time it is - yes, easy. But I also have to say that I never feel or have (well not recently) felt threatened by anything she is doing. I sounds weird to say it but now, after 4+ years, dare I say it's not such a shock that she has sex with another guy. It sounds weird to say it, but it is the truth. It turns me on that she does this - and yes, given even just a momentary thought will throw me into arousal - but at the same time, it no longer shocks me or surprises me. Of course that it's "just Robert", as I said, combined with how supportive she is for me, that makes it a lot easier. I can also say that when she backed away from the deep-affair desire of hers, that it left me very relieved and heartened - going that far might have had a deeper impact on things. Right now, in a way, she's still within the original bounds of things we'd discussed long ago - and how one of the criteria we both had on how our marriage was - was how we dealt with time with each other and how we valued time together as a sign of things.

Anyway - enough rambling for tonight... G'night all.
 
Well, she's gone off to bed earlier than me and told me that I should go and enjoy myself.
So, I am here now thinking of how strange things are when I take the time to think about it from the more "normal" perspective.

She did see Robert tonight and came home about 7pm - needn't have mattered as neither of our kids were home - our daughter enjoying her last evening before school resumes and our son now back at college. She came bounding in with a beaming smile and the tell-tale look on her face. I may have even detected a slight shift in her gait - maybe in my head - but as I said, strangeness from above, in that the thought of what she was doing earlier gave me the most crazy feeling of pride and love for her. She kissed me and said she was starving - and once she realized no one else was home she regaled about how horny Robert seemed. I joked with her that she's cut back on seeing him lately, from sometimes 3x a week to now seeming more like 2x. Her reply was that was something they both wanted - and she admitted that while the sex is still incredible with him (her words) - that she says the both admit that sometimes less is more. She kissed me again and said "I'll take 2x like tonight vs 3x any time" and she hugged me and looked at me and again said "thank you".

We talked idly about other stuff - she is involved with a new project at work - and a bunch of other stuff that I couldn't focus on. She noticed it and asked me what I was so preoccupied with. I just said it - I didn't mean to really say it so bluntly but when she asked, I was in the midst of this moment of sexual fantasy and desire for her that when I suddenly snapped back to her conversation, I blurted out "that you're probably full of his stuff right now". She continued to talk for a second longer - I guess she didn't hear me right away but then she stopped and she was quiet for a second and then she came closer to me and kissed me very passionately and said "yes baby, I am" and she smiled and she said "that's such a turn on, what you said" - and she reached down and felt my crotch and she continued "you're really hard " and she looked at me and said "can you wait till tomorrow night?".

I know she felt my cock throb as she said it. Mind you this all took like 15 seconds - but it seemed like it was all in slow-motion. A large, very knowing smile drew over her face and she said quietly to me "maybe you can use another condom tomorrow night ... we'll see....". We hugged and kissed again and this time I knew she could feel my hardon against her body - she pulled back but I held her pelvis to mine and she smiled and said "that's if you can even wait that long....". She giggled at the lump in my pants as I let her go - as she turned from me and walked up the stairs I called to her and said "I love you". She stopped mid-step and turned back and said "me too".

A part of me wanted to follow her upstairs - but I also knew she hadn't said anything nor made any motion to call me up to follow her so I left her and gave her the privacy she wanted. I pulled the leftovers out of the refrigerator and she was back down just a few minutes later in a pair of shorts and a loose t-shirt. I could see the outline of her nipples when it pulled tight against her. She came up behind me and hugged me and again said she loved me.

I wanted to turn around and ask her to tell me how he ravaged her but I didn't give in and reasoned (later confirmed) that she wants to tease/tell me about it tomorrow night. Our daughter came in just before 9:30pm and that sort of occupied the rest of the night with the 2 of them going through clothes for what she'll wear tomorrow for first day of her senior year in HS. Finally Sue came to our bed to watch some TV about 10:30pm. She changed into her long t-night-shirt for bed after which it was my turn in the bathroom. Sure enough - in the hamper were her panties and the crotch was very wet. I was curious and I picked them up - thinking I'd give them a sniff - but that wasn't needed - as soon as I brought them closer the smell was obvious.

The thing was - I stood there for a few minutes (or so it seemed) and all I could think about was the reality that I held in my hands - and the reality that my cock was stiff and throbbing at the thought of it. I know that sometimes I have doubts or second-thoughts (yes, I do - they're few and far between these days but....) - but at that moment earlier this evening as I held her panties, knowing they were wet from her and Robert's tryst earlier - I cannot describe to you the kind of deep seated arousal I had. In a way, I'd almost say that it was even more erotic finding confirmation that way than even having her flash or show me her pussy. I genuinely stood there getting more and more aroused at just the thought.

I think she knew I was horny when I emerged a few minutes later and that was when she said I should go and have some fun if I needed to.

So - here I am - yes, I'm horny and will not be able to sleep until I have some relief. What's even more crazy is that thinking I may get to have sex with her tomorrow night - yes, with a condom - it's very intense. I can't say it's exactly what I was hoping for when I said that I wanted to push things a bit more with her - but at one point she said "it's just a different kind of denial" - and she's right. I do very much miss feeling her bare pussy and the feeling of filling her most intimate place with my semen - but at the same time - I am going to go out on that limb again and say that it is incredibly satisfying, perhaps more-so in some ways as feeling her bare is a very physical sense of fulfillment. But merging her desires and denial together through a condom - it's weird but it seems to fulfill me both physically AND mentally. That my wife would essentially give herself to her lover and deny me that same pleasure - its intensely satisfying - and to Far2's question of more frequency - I think it's not just more frequent but that it is also much more intense when we do have sex now. It's weird but she even seems to respond more fully and deeply too.

Writing the above has given me a strange sense of desire right now. I have the intense urge to strip down, put on a video and stroke away. But at the same time - there's a growing sense that I can stem the desire and let it build till tomorrow. But to do that means I need to click send now and walk away.