Next steps?
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will2112001
Guest
I understand about being discreet. You can still go out and be discreet. Yes it takes more effort. You may have to drive an extra 15 miles. Has he ever Heard of Pro Flower.com. Its about making a woman feel special and wanted. (Not sitting in the Hotel room. While Your down playing BlackJack. Or Sitting in the Hotel Room while Your down drinking with you Buddies). I'm sure Sue felt Soooooo Good. No You don't have to Break the Bank. But sometimes a single rose goes such a long way.
Will/Harry, I'm not sure what I'm really supposed to explain to Frank. I don't think Sue wants the message to be that he needs to work harder. If anything I was going to tell him that she's going through some phases and that she didn't want him to think it was anything more than that this has gone it's course and that she, essentially, wants to move on to someone else as her lover that she focuses on. I hadn't planned on telling him to ramp up his game or he's going to lose her - from what I get from Sue, that ship has sailed already. But really, I think it's her realization that she doesn't want her lover to be our friend as she thinks that gets in the way of things at some point.
I suppose, in retrospect, he could and should have done more. But I do know that my not feeling threatened by him did allow me to grow and realize I can feel okay about letting Sue do more - such as go away with her lover - than I would have felt otherwise.
It still seems so strange at times to talk so nonchalantly about my wife having sex and more with other guys. I think perhaps more-so right now because she is sort of between-lovers.
What I can say is that I definitely have missed the slow simmering buildup of desires that I see in her now as she's exploring what she wants (or who she wants).
Gotta run.
I suppose, in retrospect, he could and should have done more. But I do know that my not feeling threatened by him did allow me to grow and realize I can feel okay about letting Sue do more - such as go away with her lover - than I would have felt otherwise.
It still seems so strange at times to talk so nonchalantly about my wife having sex and more with other guys. I think perhaps more-so right now because she is sort of between-lovers.
What I can say is that I definitely have missed the slow simmering buildup of desires that I see in her now as she's exploring what she wants (or who she wants).
Gotta run.
I think this will be good for Frank. Having had Sue for NSA sex for more than a year now has
been a very nice cushion to help him get over his divorce. But perhaps it is time for him to
move on and build a new life. I hope he can see it this way and all 3 of you can remain good
friends, with benefits
-Hiki
been a very nice cushion to help him get over his divorce. But perhaps it is time for him to
move on and build a new life. I hope he can see it this way and all 3 of you can remain good
friends, with benefits
-Hiki
Hiki - I've already posted that I'd like this to be the outcome. No hard or difficult feelings between us - and hopefully, the friends-with-benefits aspect too.
I think it would be great to have someone as a friend like Frank who I/we can be with as friends and to know that he and Sue will still have sex at times. I don't think Sue can fully appreciate this just yet but when we've talked about Frank in the future she's always left the door open to them getting together in the future.
Up until now there is no one other than here on this board that I can share my thoughts, feelings and experiences with. It might be nice to have a Son-of-John kind of relationship with another guy where this can be out in the open. If it'd work with anyone, it'd be Frank as (I'm hoping) he'll be easy going about this.
I think it would be great to have someone as a friend like Frank who I/we can be with as friends and to know that he and Sue will still have sex at times. I don't think Sue can fully appreciate this just yet but when we've talked about Frank in the future she's always left the door open to them getting together in the future.
Up until now there is no one other than here on this board that I can share my thoughts, feelings and experiences with. It might be nice to have a Son-of-John kind of relationship with another guy where this can be out in the open. If it'd work with anyone, it'd be Frank as (I'm hoping) he'll be easy going about this.
STB
when you talk to frank about it all well by now he has to have some idea that it may be over.
so hope that you and sue and frank can still stay friends and that would give you someone that you might be able to talk to about sue.
but also he may not like to talk about it at first but one can hope.
i hope it all works out the way you want it to with frank.
good luck and keep us posted.
when you talk to frank about it all well by now he has to have some idea that it may be over.
so hope that you and sue and frank can still stay friends and that would give you someone that you might be able to talk to about sue.
but also he may not like to talk about it at first but one can hope.
i hope it all works out the way you want it to with frank.
good luck and keep us posted.
Tricky few conversations for you STB. You might just have persuaded Frank that Sue doesn't want him anymore when oops, she has him again! You might try talking to him about Sue‘s new lover only for him to realise that you used to talk about him that way. Last time, he was dumped, now its a bit better but the result is the same. He needs to get out more. Why not offer to be his wingman sometimes? What would Sue make of that?
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will2112001
Guest
Truth be told. I have always had the feeling Frank was more of a Cuckold than a Bull. You underestimate just how many Men feel just as You do Steve. For whatever reason. I think You and Frank are Kindred Spirits.
Truth be told I have been harsher on Frank than I should have. He may have been asked to do something that was just not in Him. He really had a sweet deal. May Not have been up for it.
Truth be told I have been harsher on Frank than I should have. He may have been asked to do something that was just not in Him. He really had a sweet deal. May Not have been up for it.
This is not in any way a criticism of Sue, but it seems odd to me that she would not deal with Frank herself, rather than tasking you to do it. If I were frank, I might assume that that the change was motivated by you, rather than her.
Whoever talks to him, can't you just tell him that Sue wants to dial it way down, in terms of the frequency or regularity of her time with him? That she wants to be open to finding other lovers as well? That way, she can adjust Frank's expectation that he can have regular (and brilliant) sex with Sue. Maybe she'll favor him with her charms sometimes, and maybe not, just have to play it by ear.
Whoever talks to him, can't you just tell him that Sue wants to dial it way down, in terms of the frequency or regularity of her time with him? That she wants to be open to finding other lovers as well? That way, she can adjust Frank's expectation that he can have regular (and brilliant) sex with Sue. Maybe she'll favor him with her charms sometimes, and maybe not, just have to play it by ear.
Frank
Steve, I hope you play it well with Frank. I think it will be no easy task, and it would be better if Sue accompanied you with an agreed dialog already rehearsed.
They would have been lovers 2 years, April 11, 2013, but longer that you and Sue have known him. Although Frank has carefully avoided becoming, 'emotionally' & 'Romantically' involved, he has provided Sue with many hours of sexual pleasure. Has she told you what, she has told Frank, other than that their sex will be less frequent?
This has been a totally different experience than it was with Brad, and with Don. Then the decision to 'break,' was obvious and timely. With Frank, you both wanted the 'friends with benefits' relationship they have had, and may continue to have, tho less frequently. But there is more to consider:
I still think he doesn't fully understand the relationship you and Sue have, that allows her to have other lovers (especially where it involves your 'denial'). He may not fully understand, even if you tell him, but if he is to know that Sue wants to explore more sex with other men, you should try to explain why.
In Frank, I think you have chosen a 'normal man'. It could be that neither you, or Sue know how to relate to a 'normal man' from a cuckold/cuckoldress perspective, but you have done it for nearly 2 years.
I think that there is nothing wrong with Frank. He responded normally to a woman (Sue) who enticed him into a sexual affair. Since you were already friends, he was understandably cautious, and when he came to know you had knowledge of it, he assured you that he would not attempt to take her from you. He has kept his promise Whether he could have 'taken' her is not the issue. That he respects your marriage and friendship is.
Although Frank don't fulfill Sue's desires now, he did fulfill her desires in the beginning. He has stepped up to most of what she has asked of him. Thats better than most marriages, Isn't it?
It's just that Frank wouldn't "push", Pull" and "dominate" her. That is what she is looking for now. That too will pass.
When it does, Frank could still be there to 'catch her'. And he may be the best one to do it! She did say that she will always have a "soft spot" for him, Didn't she?
You should not be anxious to move on to the next level. Let Sue do the exploring. You have had your turn at 'pushing the boundaries'. Now she will go even further. She will scare you even more than you have scared yourself. Then she will be back. You must be prepared to be her champion when she does!
Cheers, Harry
Steve, I hope you play it well with Frank. I think it will be no easy task, and it would be better if Sue accompanied you with an agreed dialog already rehearsed.
They would have been lovers 2 years, April 11, 2013, but longer that you and Sue have known him. Although Frank has carefully avoided becoming, 'emotionally' & 'Romantically' involved, he has provided Sue with many hours of sexual pleasure. Has she told you what, she has told Frank, other than that their sex will be less frequent?
This has been a totally different experience than it was with Brad, and with Don. Then the decision to 'break,' was obvious and timely. With Frank, you both wanted the 'friends with benefits' relationship they have had, and may continue to have, tho less frequently. But there is more to consider:
I still think he doesn't fully understand the relationship you and Sue have, that allows her to have other lovers (especially where it involves your 'denial'). He may not fully understand, even if you tell him, but if he is to know that Sue wants to explore more sex with other men, you should try to explain why.
In Frank, I think you have chosen a 'normal man'. It could be that neither you, or Sue know how to relate to a 'normal man' from a cuckold/cuckoldress perspective, but you have done it for nearly 2 years.
I think that there is nothing wrong with Frank. He responded normally to a woman (Sue) who enticed him into a sexual affair. Since you were already friends, he was understandably cautious, and when he came to know you had knowledge of it, he assured you that he would not attempt to take her from you. He has kept his promise Whether he could have 'taken' her is not the issue. That he respects your marriage and friendship is.
Although Frank don't fulfill Sue's desires now, he did fulfill her desires in the beginning. He has stepped up to most of what she has asked of him. Thats better than most marriages, Isn't it?
It's just that Frank wouldn't "push", Pull" and "dominate" her. That is what she is looking for now. That too will pass.
When it does, Frank could still be there to 'catch her'. And he may be the best one to do it! She did say that she will always have a "soft spot" for him, Didn't she?
You should not be anxious to move on to the next level. Let Sue do the exploring. You have had your turn at 'pushing the boundaries'. Now she will go even further. She will scare you even more than you have scared yourself. Then she will be back. You must be prepared to be her champion when she does!
Cheers, Harry
SoonToBe said:
Steve, We are not the ones to ask these questions. You need to seriously ask Sue what she expects you to tell Frank.
Better yet, talk it over, then take her with you, (or invite him to your house when the daughter is not there for the evening) Have dinner, and a couple beers, and discuss it like the adults you are. But do discuss it. And do it without sex.
Cheers, Harry
Quote: Hiki, "I wonder about her cover story with Robert, i.e. your inability to have sex with her, due to medical reasons. In order for that story to pass in the long run, she'll have to always be "clean" for him, i.e you will have to [use] condoms, or be denied fully. Or am I reading too much into it at this stage?
-Hiki
No, Steve, You are not giving Sue enough credit! She is being very creative at fulfilling her desires.
Cheers, Harry
-Hiki
SoonToBe said:
No, Steve, You are not giving Sue enough credit! She is being very creative at fulfilling her desires.
Cheers, Harry
STB,
I do agree with the gang here, if you are going to speak to Frank, you need to be delivering Sue's message. If it isn't what he wants to hear, he is bound to find a way to check back with Sue and he needs to hear the same things if he does.
It is an interesting situation though and must increase your cucky angst a bit. I mean you have explain that he can't give Sue what she needs and the implication will be clear to him that you can't either. The problem really is that he will think he has already taken Sue to the heights of ecstacy and he doesn't have the imagination to understand what is missing. That was the problem in the first place.
On the issue of your 'impotence', I wouldn't worry about it. There are many forms it can take, many of which respond to full or partial cure from a variety of treatments both mental, physical, pills and injections. The initial (but vague) explanation from Sue is good though because it will enable her to get close to a normal moral guy who may not be comfortable 'stealing' another man's wife but is ok if he thinks he is providing something lacking in the marriage. Of course a true dom maybe wouldn't care about this but I think it is a good opener. Sue could then say her new lover caused you to seek treatment / lose weight / get your head sorted so that a limited sex life resumed. Still leaves her needing the top up if she wants to play it that way.
Or she could just deny you!
Have she given you no clue at all which way she is thinking?
I do agree with the gang here, if you are going to speak to Frank, you need to be delivering Sue's message. If it isn't what he wants to hear, he is bound to find a way to check back with Sue and he needs to hear the same things if he does.
It is an interesting situation though and must increase your cucky angst a bit. I mean you have explain that he can't give Sue what she needs and the implication will be clear to him that you can't either. The problem really is that he will think he has already taken Sue to the heights of ecstacy and he doesn't have the imagination to understand what is missing. That was the problem in the first place.
On the issue of your 'impotence', I wouldn't worry about it. There are many forms it can take, many of which respond to full or partial cure from a variety of treatments both mental, physical, pills and injections. The initial (but vague) explanation from Sue is good though because it will enable her to get close to a normal moral guy who may not be comfortable 'stealing' another man's wife but is ok if he thinks he is providing something lacking in the marriage. Of course a true dom maybe wouldn't care about this but I think it is a good opener. Sue could then say her new lover caused you to seek treatment / lose weight / get your head sorted so that a limited sex life resumed. Still leaves her needing the top up if she wants to play it that way.
Or she could just deny you!
Have she given you no clue at all which way she is thinking?
Normal guy
Sorry, Will, I'll have to agree with Peak on this one. I already pointed out that Frank is a 'normal guy' which I define as a guy that is not familiar with the 'Cuckold Lifestyle'. That is most likely what Sue will find in her 'work environment', and at the after work parties. It's a 'gamble' that she will find a 'dominant man' there, or at least one that admits 'up front' that he is 'dominant'.
Sorry, Will, I'll have to agree with Peak on this one. I already pointed out that Frank is a 'normal guy' which I define as a guy that is not familiar with the 'Cuckold Lifestyle'. That is most likely what Sue will find in her 'work environment', and at the after work parties. It's a 'gamble' that she will find a 'dominant man' there, or at least one that admits 'up front' that he is 'dominant'.
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will2112001
Guest
I keep running those words over and over in My Mind. Moral? Normal?
Maybe if You could explain Your definition?
I'm sorry Peak, You take it as a pissing contest. Its not meant that way.
I think a lot of People would find this Very Board anything but Moral or Normal.
And the people who read and post here???? OMG
Maybe if You could explain Your definition?
I'm sorry Peak, You take it as a pissing contest. Its not meant that way.
I think a lot of People would find this Very Board anything but Moral or Normal.
And the people who read and post here???? OMG
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will2112001
Guest
Harry2614 said:
Sorry Harry, I don't agree Frank is a "Normal Guy". No Normal Guy stays in a two year relationship as the other guy. Without either trying to find a Girlfriend of His own. Or making a move on the Woman. That is not NORMAL!!! 3 hours every Thurday night? Maybe an odd weekend day? Its just not normal to not want a woman of Your Own!!! One You want to spend time on Xmas. Your Birthday. Holidays. Special Moments. Not One You borrow from someone else. A Woman of Your Own, After 2 Year?????
