ONE NIGHT STAND or BOYFRIEND?
- Thread starteroutare
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Quote: "Although exciting, i can't help but feel a little scared of the idea of her consistently dating another man and the relationship that may form between them. In the same vein, I find that risk strangely hot. Its that sweet sweet mind fuck pain that i seem to enjoy. We have been together for over 15 years and have children so i believe in my rational mind that the risk of her leaving me is quite low but my irrational maid is going crazy!"
I wouldn't say that having a fear that you wife might leave you, if she regularly dates another man she finds attractive is "irrational".
Regardless of a long-standing relationship, a wife might develop very strong feelings for another man and even realise she needs him in her life. Affairs (which are very common) go one way or another... the wife leaves to make a new life, or decides to make a go of her current relationship. In situations like this one, the only difference is that it is all out in the open with approval and consent - but none of this means a wife will not fall in love and want to see if the grass is greener in the new, excting relationship.
I would love to hear views on my opinion.
I wouldn't say that having a fear that you wife might leave you, if she regularly dates another man she finds attractive is "irrational".
Regardless of a long-standing relationship, a wife might develop very strong feelings for another man and even realise she needs him in her life. Affairs (which are very common) go one way or another... the wife leaves to make a new life, or decides to make a go of her current relationship. In situations like this one, the only difference is that it is all out in the open with approval and consent - but none of this means a wife will not fall in love and want to see if the grass is greener in the new, excting relationship.
I would love to hear views on my opinion.
maltavmalta said:
No, I think you're absolutely right. Men who play games like this are playing with fire but either very, very foolishly don't expect to get burnt (as they see it as part of their 'thrill' and aren't in the real world) or are too far gone in their self-loathing to care either way. Neither is good.
You're basically letting your wife or girlfriend see someone else with your approval. You're basically saying to her that you don't really care if she's your girlfriend or not, so she might as well find someone who will love her and care for her whilst giving a damned good seeing to into the bargain! All right in front of her husband's eyes and with his (notional) consent! A nasty way to treat someone who doesn't feel wanted. There may be other perspectives but I suspect mine is the most common one.
maltavmalta: are you from the Mediterranean island from which you take your username?
Wrong wrong wrong!!!
Well as always most of the people on this site are living in a fantasy world. becontree2001uk you could not be more wrong in your assumption. The wife has had sex with many men over the past year, and to be honest, we have both grown a little tired of the whole scene. I have lost all faith in men. These "bulls" are flakes, break plans, cant get hard, cant perform in front of a camera, can't cum, all claim they have huge dicks only to find out they are no bigger than me, and the few that have been huge have no idea how to fuck a woman! All talk a big game but cant seal the deal. Disgraceful! As it turns out, the person who excites my wife the most is....ME - who would have guessed!! I guess that's why we got married in the first place! SO all of you self loathing creatures on this site - TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR LIVES - Fantasy is not real life!! When something makes you uncomfortable after you have cum - you probably don't want it to happen! (just a good rule of thumb) And all of you who want to have your wife to get pregnant by another man, and have the bull move in to your house and take over your life ------Its time to wake up!! Take charge of your life.
Another thing, all of you on here that are advocating these wimps hand their lives over to their wife's lover, think about what you are saying - Do you really think it would be cool to never fuck your wife again?? OR be locked in chastity for a year or more - you are kidding yourself.
Now before someone responds and says i don't understand the lifestyle - trust me i do. I have watched my wife with many men, participated, been locked in chastity, had her date men without me, date the same men several times etc. What many of you seem to forget is this is supposed to be a FUN and EXCITING SHARED experience between YOU and YOUR WIFE. A game between you two with the odd guy being invited in. Its not supposed to be the end of your marriage or your life, or your family. Most of you need to relax and see this for what it is. What i have read on this forum over the past year makes my head spin - What are you all thinking??? Anyway enough about me - anyone else realize this thread is over a year old?
Well as always most of the people on this site are living in a fantasy world. becontree2001uk you could not be more wrong in your assumption. The wife has had sex with many men over the past year, and to be honest, we have both grown a little tired of the whole scene. I have lost all faith in men. These "bulls" are flakes, break plans, cant get hard, cant perform in front of a camera, can't cum, all claim they have huge dicks only to find out they are no bigger than me, and the few that have been huge have no idea how to fuck a woman! All talk a big game but cant seal the deal. Disgraceful! As it turns out, the person who excites my wife the most is....ME - who would have guessed!! I guess that's why we got married in the first place! SO all of you self loathing creatures on this site - TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR LIVES - Fantasy is not real life!! When something makes you uncomfortable after you have cum - you probably don't want it to happen! (just a good rule of thumb) And all of you who want to have your wife to get pregnant by another man, and have the bull move in to your house and take over your life ------Its time to wake up!! Take charge of your life.
Another thing, all of you on here that are advocating these wimps hand their lives over to their wife's lover, think about what you are saying - Do you really think it would be cool to never fuck your wife again?? OR be locked in chastity for a year or more - you are kidding yourself.
Now before someone responds and says i don't understand the lifestyle - trust me i do. I have watched my wife with many men, participated, been locked in chastity, had her date men without me, date the same men several times etc. What many of you seem to forget is this is supposed to be a FUN and EXCITING SHARED experience between YOU and YOUR WIFE. A game between you two with the odd guy being invited in. Its not supposed to be the end of your marriage or your life, or your family. Most of you need to relax and see this for what it is. What i have read on this forum over the past year makes my head spin - What are you all thinking??? Anyway enough about me - anyone else realize this thread is over a year old?
Quote: "does anyone see any potential pitfalls in the scenario that my wife and i have created or is it full steam ahead?"
It was this comment that prompted my last reply. That said, I personally find the scenario VERY thrilling and exciting. If my wife was willing to do something similar, would I allow it/encourage it? Hell yes! We only live once and we might as well derive as much pleasure from life as we can. If it is thrills we are after - there is very little in life that is thrilling without an associated risk, and unlike mountaineering or extreme sports, there's not much chance of any of the participants being killed or maimed in this one!
It was this comment that prompted my last reply. That said, I personally find the scenario VERY thrilling and exciting. If my wife was willing to do something similar, would I allow it/encourage it? Hell yes! We only live once and we might as well derive as much pleasure from life as we can. If it is thrills we are after - there is very little in life that is thrilling without an associated risk, and unlike mountaineering or extreme sports, there's not much chance of any of the participants being killed or maimed in this one!
And a couple of questions if I may, the answers to which you have already touched on (I am paying attention!), but a little more detail and clarification won't hurt...
Would you say that you love your wife, or that you are still IN love with her still, like when you were dating?
Does the thought of her not being at your side (and with another man) hurt and does it make you jealous? If so, could you describe how your jealousy manifests itself, and how you control/temper it?
Do you have a desire to push things further, to encourage her to get more emotionally involved with another man she can really care for and join in a 'committed' relationship?
Do you think you could cope if the balance tips in favour of another? By that I mean, if she falls very much in love with him and wants to spend more time with him and shower him with more affection than she does you?
You describe your wife as your best friend. how would you feel if your wife develops a relationship with another man to the point where, rather than just being a boyfriend, he becomes much more - a soulmate and very good, close friend?
It would also be interesting to hear your wife's perspective on these issues. Have you discussed seriously any of these possible outcomes?
Would you say that you love your wife, or that you are still IN love with her still, like when you were dating?
Does the thought of her not being at your side (and with another man) hurt and does it make you jealous? If so, could you describe how your jealousy manifests itself, and how you control/temper it?
Do you have a desire to push things further, to encourage her to get more emotionally involved with another man she can really care for and join in a 'committed' relationship?
Do you think you could cope if the balance tips in favour of another? By that I mean, if she falls very much in love with him and wants to spend more time with him and shower him with more affection than she does you?
You describe your wife as your best friend. how would you feel if your wife develops a relationship with another man to the point where, rather than just being a boyfriend, he becomes much more - a soulmate and very good, close friend?
It would also be interesting to hear your wife's perspective on these issues. Have you discussed seriously any of these possible outcomes?
First, Maltavmalta,
Yes i get the thrill aspect and i do get excited to see her with other men. The reference to extreme sports is not the same. In those sports there is risk, but you do trust in your skill, equipment, etc. There is a level of safety. Some of these poor souls on this forum have removed every "safety" and have told their wives - "Please have a relationship that you fall in love with the other man" and when that does indeed happen they still refuse to fight for the woman they claim to love. They hide behind "i just really want her to be happy". Maybe none of them have considered that perhaps what their wives want is them to act like a man and fight for what they want.
I'll bet the 99.99 % of the guys on here introduced their wives to the idea of cuckolding for their own selfish pleasure. They were turned on by the idea of their wives fucking other men. Somewhere along the way they lost sight of the fact that this activity was supposed to be fun and exciting - not sad and depressing.
AS for your following questions:
- This "Love" vs "in love" is high school nonsense. We have been together 16 years, we are best friends and i am still totally excited to fuck her.
- Obviously I'm OK with the jealously aspect as i have let her have many sexual partners.
- I don't really have any interest with her having a committed relationship with another man. There was many times that could have happened - neither my wife nor i had any interest in that.
- Neither myself nor my wife have any interest in her having anything more than a sexual relationship with other men. We have discussed this several times and she has stated that she does not want that at all. So none of these are possible outcomes - for us anyway.
becontree2001uk, Yes you are indeed right - Each to their own. I agree fully. I just cant get my head around the idea of being excited by having your wife leave you for another man, But i don't have to.
My relationship with my wife and family is great. We like to sample different things of the "Fetish Buffet" and feel enriched by our experiences. Make no mistake, these are OUR experiences. So good luck to you all, just try to not ruin your entire lives for one particular sexual fetish.
Don't think that i will never request that she fuck another man, because i probably will, WE just wont let it ruin OUR relationship, marriage, family, etc.
Yes i get the thrill aspect and i do get excited to see her with other men. The reference to extreme sports is not the same. In those sports there is risk, but you do trust in your skill, equipment, etc. There is a level of safety. Some of these poor souls on this forum have removed every "safety" and have told their wives - "Please have a relationship that you fall in love with the other man" and when that does indeed happen they still refuse to fight for the woman they claim to love. They hide behind "i just really want her to be happy". Maybe none of them have considered that perhaps what their wives want is them to act like a man and fight for what they want.
I'll bet the 99.99 % of the guys on here introduced their wives to the idea of cuckolding for their own selfish pleasure. They were turned on by the idea of their wives fucking other men. Somewhere along the way they lost sight of the fact that this activity was supposed to be fun and exciting - not sad and depressing.
AS for your following questions:
- This "Love" vs "in love" is high school nonsense. We have been together 16 years, we are best friends and i am still totally excited to fuck her.
- Obviously I'm OK with the jealously aspect as i have let her have many sexual partners.
- I don't really have any interest with her having a committed relationship with another man. There was many times that could have happened - neither my wife nor i had any interest in that.
- Neither myself nor my wife have any interest in her having anything more than a sexual relationship with other men. We have discussed this several times and she has stated that she does not want that at all. So none of these are possible outcomes - for us anyway.
becontree2001uk, Yes you are indeed right - Each to their own. I agree fully. I just cant get my head around the idea of being excited by having your wife leave you for another man, But i don't have to.
My relationship with my wife and family is great. We like to sample different things of the "Fetish Buffet" and feel enriched by our experiences. Make no mistake, these are OUR experiences. So good luck to you all, just try to not ruin your entire lives for one particular sexual fetish.
Don't think that i will never request that she fuck another man, because i probably will, WE just wont let it ruin OUR relationship, marriage, family, etc.
In light of your first opening post then, would you say that you have re-evaluated how far you would like your wife to go, in regards to pursuing a relationship outside of your marriage?
This is of course perfectly understandable! But it does seem that your initial enthusiasm for your wife to have a boyfriend has cooled, (unless of course I misunderstood how far you wanted things to go at the outset). A boyfriend is a very different proposition from a purely sexual partner with no feelings attached - and so much harder to handle for most people.
This is of course perfectly understandable! But it does seem that your initial enthusiasm for your wife to have a boyfriend has cooled, (unless of course I misunderstood how far you wanted things to go at the outset). A boyfriend is a very different proposition from a purely sexual partner with no feelings attached - and so much harder to handle for most people.
outare said:
She is right, you pushed for it. You would be amazed at how well a woman can have playtoys and still maintain multiple relationships with both you and her lover. I find it interesting that although my wife has her lover she is very specific that she does this for me and that she has no problem compartmentalizing her feelings for both of us. Women are made specifically for multiple mates. It is completely built in to them and as long as you cultivate her by loving, accepting and listening to her I don't think you have much to worry about. On the other hand; if you try to stop her or forbid her from doing something, it will end up being an obsession for her and you will suffer for it. Unless she isn't safe once she begins you will need to be supportive and loving.
Over a year has passed since that quotation.
She is not interested in having a boyfriend - just the odd playmate. Have we both cooled to the idea?.....not really, she is just not interested in having an emotional relationship with anyone other than me. I don't forbid her to do anything. We have discussed it and both of us have become slightly tired of the whole situation. mostly due to the flaky guys we have encountered. Will we continue to entertain the idea? most likely until the next new kink comes along!
Maltavmalta, you continue to separate myself and my wife in your statements. "I" have not re-evaluated the situation - "we" have re-evaluated the situation. This is a shared experience for us - a team sport if you will. What i see in many posts on here is the Cuck Vs Wife&Bull. Our situation is Wifesharer & Wife Vs. Bull. No one comes in between us - And that's the way WE think this situation works best for us.
And just for the record - I am able to please her much better than her so called "boyfriends and bulls"!!
She is not interested in having a boyfriend - just the odd playmate. Have we both cooled to the idea?.....not really, she is just not interested in having an emotional relationship with anyone other than me. I don't forbid her to do anything. We have discussed it and both of us have become slightly tired of the whole situation. mostly due to the flaky guys we have encountered. Will we continue to entertain the idea? most likely until the next new kink comes along!
Maltavmalta, you continue to separate myself and my wife in your statements. "I" have not re-evaluated the situation - "we" have re-evaluated the situation. This is a shared experience for us - a team sport if you will. What i see in many posts on here is the Cuck Vs Wife&Bull. Our situation is Wifesharer & Wife Vs. Bull. No one comes in between us - And that's the way WE think this situation works best for us.
And just for the record - I am able to please her much better than her so called "boyfriends and bulls"!!
