She told me how wonderful she felt when she'd gone away with Frank and how she felt that "being exclusive" with him beforehand - she felt had really increased how connected she felt with him. She looked me straight in the face and said "I want to feel that with Robert". She continued to say that she feels confident about her and I that she said "I want to see how it feels" and she mentioned more about what Phyllis had shared with her, that she'd thought was unthinkable back then. She said that Phyllis had said that a full-blown affair had made her feel so much more self-confident and so much more satisfied.
I was stroking away when she said that hearing me say that to her the other day had made her realize that maybe it really could work. She said that hearing me say that made her understand that I could accept this - just as Phyllis had said her husband did - and that maybe it could be good for us. She said that the times she'd done this before with Frank and earlier had made her realize how energized she could be about all of this. And she held my free-hand tightly when she said that "feeling confident about you (meaning me) is what I need to let it happen". She said that even just this week had given her an unexpected thrill - and she came out and said it - that walking around naked in front of me, and her knowing that she wasn't going to have sex with me - gave her an unexpected thrill. She looked at me and said "how are you going to feel about that when you haven't had sex with me in a while?".
If I wasn't hard already, I was now. I looked at her and said "oh, is that something that is going to happen?". She held my hand and paused for a second and then said "yes. if you were serious, then yes, at some point I'm going to want that." She looked at me and said that she couldn't believe she was going to say this but that "if I get emotional with him, then I am going to want to try it for a while". I almost didn't ask but at the same time, I couldn't not ask - "what does 'a while' mean?". She looked at me and said some of what she's said at other times - that "after 30 years, a break won't be so bad". That wasn't so bad to hear but she continued and said "if I feel strongly for him, than I'm going to want to". I think she was close to a tear in her eye when she said that. I moved up on my elbows and leaned against her and said something like "baby - you have an opportunity here to let yourself feel things that you may never have a chance to again" - I paused for a second and said "if it's something you feel strongly about, then I'll be okay". She leaned forward and hugged me and said that she never thought she'd be saying this as she loved me, but she turned her head away as she said "I think I'm going to want to try it at some point ... it won't be forever, but I think I'm going to want to know how it feels".
I don't think she thought I was going to be okay with it. It was my turn to pull her close and say that as long as it wasn't forever, that I'm sure that I'll, and then changed it to "we'll" be okay. I looked at her and said "I'm not sure what you're thinking but hopefully it's not more than a few weeks or maybe a month or so?". She pulled me close and said "I don't know but I'm sure we'll work something out". She still sounded so hesitant and tentative so I added "you said you'd help me out - right?" and I pointed out that nights like this when we talk openly and she helps me sexually were fulfilling for me. She kissed me and said "of course .... but I know how you need sex with me too". I held her and said "maybe you can give me a blow-job every now and then?" and then I went for broke and said "there's always the back-door!" which resulted in a giggle and playful slap from her at which point she said "well, Robert has said that I should make sure you happy" and she continued to say that she hoped that would be okay.
I held her and reminded her one last time that all of this did turn me on. She giggled at seeing my cock still stiff and as I lay back she watched me start to stroke it. She was still sitting there with her pussy sort of spread facing me. I looked at her and said something like - i know I'm going to miss making love to you at times - but I also know that we'll share other things like she said that will help. That seemed to calm her a bit more and she asked me to tell her more - I guess hearing me sounding calm and supportive had helped. I lay back and she guided my hand back to my cock and said "I love you for letting me do this". As I stroked my cock I told her that despite my misgivings (not my exact words) that I wanted to go forward with this and "see how it feels". She looked at me and said "tell me more...". It took me a moment to get my focus but I started to tell her that I wanted to see her being so sexually active that it consumed her (or I said something like that) and that I wanted to see and experience that with her. My cock was now fully there and I just let it go. I told her that I'd "enjoyed myself" many times thinking about what may happen. She looked at me with a questioning look and I hesitated at first but then told her that I'd cum many times thinking about how it will feel when she tells me that this is the last time we'll have sex for a while. I don't think she expected my honesty or to exactly hear that and she stared for a moment until I continued to say that I know if and when she may say that to me that just the thought that I might not get to fuck her for a while will be an incredible turn-on. She glanced at my rock-hard cock and smiled knowing I was telling her the truth. She leaned down to be near me and said "I'll bet you'll cum a lot won't you?". I groaned and told her that the thought of not getting to feel her and knowing that Robert will be taking my place was something that was incredibly intense for me.
She was getting into it and moaned back "will it turn you on seeing me naked and knowing you won't be having me?". I knew I was getting close and I managed to moan back a "...yes...". She groaned back that she's loving how she's felt so far this week doing exactly that - letting me see her and her knowing she won't have sex with me. She asked me "is that better than if I wear panties all the time?" I managed to groan back "oh yes...." and she asked me to tell her more. I only got as far as saying that I'd thought about how that will feel - how she'll be when she says it to me - and how I'll feel hearing it. When I got to telling her that I think about missing how she'll feel - between what I was saying out loud and all of the things in my head - that was it - I let go of another load as my hand was a blur. She squealed when I came again and leaned down and kissed me and said "I love knowing it turns you on" and a second later she said "I love you, I know it'll be okay". And a moment later she said "now, lets get you cleaned up!".
I have to run now - but can post more later - I probably missed most of what we talked about - I know I glossed over what she'd said, etc. And I can happily say that right now, my cock is completely spent and I have this awesome feeling of being well satisfied.
