Denial 2015
- Thread starterSoonToBe
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Cocu/Squirmy,
Whilst I can understand your knee jerk reaction to a perceived slur to Steve's story I do wish you had read the question because it doesn't contradict your sentiments. I too have followed and supported Steve's threads for many years. It is one of the great cuckold stories of our time. But. With all that history comes a continuity. Sue can't have blue eyes two years ago and brown now for example. I have not questioned whether Sue consults Steve nor whether he wants what he currently gets. He does. No the simple issue is how Sue can change her values so abruptly and what can influence that. It runs to the core of the story and, with Sue in control, it means that Steve's desires are utterly irrelevant. So my questions have remained with their single focus. How can she be so loving and caring one year and unloving and uncaring the next. I stress her view. I know Steve says he wants this treatment. The question is not the same. I will not defend myself like this again. It detracts too much but I felt I needed to clarify your misinterpretation.
Whilst I can understand your knee jerk reaction to a perceived slur to Steve's story I do wish you had read the question because it doesn't contradict your sentiments. I too have followed and supported Steve's threads for many years. It is one of the great cuckold stories of our time. But. With all that history comes a continuity. Sue can't have blue eyes two years ago and brown now for example. I have not questioned whether Sue consults Steve nor whether he wants what he currently gets. He does. No the simple issue is how Sue can change her values so abruptly and what can influence that. It runs to the core of the story and, with Sue in control, it means that Steve's desires are utterly irrelevant. So my questions have remained with their single focus. How can she be so loving and caring one year and unloving and uncaring the next. I stress her view. I know Steve says he wants this treatment. The question is not the same. I will not defend myself like this again. It detracts too much but I felt I needed to clarify your misinterpretation.
Peak, yes many of us have followed Steve on multiple forums as he has shared his story over the years. I would not consider it a knee jerk reaction as I myself have lived through relation(s) were they have transitioned, grown and in some cases regressed over time. I would agree with you that this is one of the great cuckold stories of our time although I would think you would see that over the years Sue has taken Steve’s desires/fantasies and has made them her own in her own way as Steve as also evolved from the husband of a hotwife to the beta/sexually submissive husband of a more sexually dominate woman as the has found the woman that she once was when they first met each other. Steve has covered this in great detail.
With that said, it does not seem that Sue as changed her values so abruptly as you say and Steve has covered the changes in their sexual relationship in great detail. As far as to whom or what may have influenced those changes, Steve has covered in detail. Sue has taken on a more dominate role in association with Steve’s omission to Sue that he wanted to explore his beta desires and she is giving Steve everything he wanted, while early on it may not have been exactly like Steve might have expected, that is part of the process of becoming, being more beta while your partner assumes the more dominate role within the relationship.
A woman such as Sue can become dominate, can take another sexual partner, can continue to enjoy a loving intimate and romantic relationship with her husband while being more or less sexually exclusive with another man. Yes all of this can be possible as Steve as provided encourage and support along the way.
Your question “How can she be so loving and caring one year and unloving and uncaring the next.”; I would suggest that Sue continues to be loving and caring which has not changed, yes the dynamic within their overall relationship may have evolved although it does not seem to me that Sue is not longer loving and caring as you (Peak) would suggest. The relationship evolution seems to be all in line with Steve’s published desires. Sue continue to care about what Steve desire and continues to make sure that everything is OK with him.
As a wrap up, no one is attacking you on this forum therefore there is no reason for you to feel that you must defend yourself here. The only thing that was being said was that Steve is not obligated to answer any question or concern expressed by us regular readers, no matter how often it is asked or expressed or how much any of us might like him to say what we want him to say. We would also hope that none of us readers offend Steve as we all would like for Steve to continue sharing his story, his life experiences with us the readers in a manner in which he can do so without feeling as if he and/or Sue are being judged by us.
With that said, it does not seem that Sue as changed her values so abruptly as you say and Steve has covered the changes in their sexual relationship in great detail. As far as to whom or what may have influenced those changes, Steve has covered in detail. Sue has taken on a more dominate role in association with Steve’s omission to Sue that he wanted to explore his beta desires and she is giving Steve everything he wanted, while early on it may not have been exactly like Steve might have expected, that is part of the process of becoming, being more beta while your partner assumes the more dominate role within the relationship.
A woman such as Sue can become dominate, can take another sexual partner, can continue to enjoy a loving intimate and romantic relationship with her husband while being more or less sexually exclusive with another man. Yes all of this can be possible as Steve as provided encourage and support along the way.
Your question “How can she be so loving and caring one year and unloving and uncaring the next.”; I would suggest that Sue continues to be loving and caring which has not changed, yes the dynamic within their overall relationship may have evolved although it does not seem to me that Sue is not longer loving and caring as you (Peak) would suggest. The relationship evolution seems to be all in line with Steve’s published desires. Sue continue to care about what Steve desire and continues to make sure that everything is OK with him.
As a wrap up, no one is attacking you on this forum therefore there is no reason for you to feel that you must defend yourself here. The only thing that was being said was that Steve is not obligated to answer any question or concern expressed by us regular readers, no matter how often it is asked or expressed or how much any of us might like him to say what we want him to say. We would also hope that none of us readers offend Steve as we all would like for Steve to continue sharing his story, his life experiences with us the readers in a manner in which he can do so without feeling as if he and/or Sue are being judged by us.
peakmb said:
I think Steve and Sue are doing great. Throughout these many years and many lovers, Sue has stuck by Steve and given him what he wanted - cuckolding - as well as what she wanted deep down - great sex. Her desires and personal fetishes seem to have grown and matched Steve's. How great is that?! We should all be so lucky.
Sue has fallen in love with others during the journey but still loves Steve. Sue doesn't always convey to Steve the true depth of her feeling toward her lovers. She fell in love with Brad, downplayed her emotions when talking to Steve, but later admitted that she had fallen in love and would have seriously considered leaving Steve if Brad had wanted her to. She fell in love with Robert to the point that she regretted that she could not give him the baby he wanted. Yikes! It was only later that the true depth of her feelings for him came out. In both cases there was a limiting factor that kept her from leaving Steve even if she fell out of love with Steve and wanted to leave. (Brad's wife and child, Robert's desire for a child). Even the other lovers were self-limiting due to over aggressiveness (Don), too much respect for her marriage (Frank?), not a strong sex drive (Glenn?), or being married (Tony).
Now we have Paul. He too has a self-limiting feature in his lack of desire to settle down. He just wants to have a lover, which he has in Sue. But Sue wanted an "All Out Affair" when she got with Paul. That was scary to all because that could lead to a marital breakup. With Paul not a threat to her long-term marriage, Sue was free to let her feelings go with full knowledge that there was an automatic brake that could kick in.
It is possible that Sue has much deeper feelings for Paul than she admits to Steve or to herself. The denial of Steve may have fit in with his cuckold desires but also gave Sue to opportunity to explore that All Out Affair to some degree without the danger. The cutback in sex with Paul after the kids got back home may have given her a chance to take a breather and enjoy Steve again sexually as well as the love she had all along.
To those worrying about them I ask: Isn't cuckold angst all about not fully knowing what is going on in your wife's head (and body)? When the envelop gets pushed, isn't that the most exciting time?
Enjoy their journey. Thank you Steve for sharing.
Sue has fallen in love with others during the journey but still loves Steve. Sue doesn't always convey to Steve the true depth of her feeling toward her lovers. She fell in love with Brad, downplayed her emotions when talking to Steve, but later admitted that she had fallen in love and would have seriously considered leaving Steve if Brad had wanted her to. She fell in love with Robert to the point that she regretted that she could not give him the baby he wanted. Yikes! It was only later that the true depth of her feelings for him came out. In both cases there was a limiting factor that kept her from leaving Steve even if she fell out of love with Steve and wanted to leave. (Brad's wife and child, Robert's desire for a child). Even the other lovers were self-limiting due to over aggressiveness (Don), too much respect for her marriage (Frank?), not a strong sex drive (Glenn?), or being married (Tony).
Now we have Paul. He too has a self-limiting feature in his lack of desire to settle down. He just wants to have a lover, which he has in Sue. But Sue wanted an "All Out Affair" when she got with Paul. That was scary to all because that could lead to a marital breakup. With Paul not a threat to her long-term marriage, Sue was free to let her feelings go with full knowledge that there was an automatic brake that could kick in.
It is possible that Sue has much deeper feelings for Paul than she admits to Steve or to herself. The denial of Steve may have fit in with his cuckold desires but also gave Sue to opportunity to explore that All Out Affair to some degree without the danger. The cutback in sex with Paul after the kids got back home may have given her a chance to take a breather and enjoy Steve again sexually as well as the love she had all along.
To those worrying about them I ask: Isn't cuckold angst all about not fully knowing what is going on in your wife's head (and body)? When the envelop gets pushed, isn't that the most exciting time?
Enjoy their journey. Thank you Steve for sharing.
Well, I suppose I will try to reply to Peak and Raks but as Cocu points out, what seems to turn both of us on seems to differ from what they would like. Honestly, I"m actually a bit done trying to explain how it seems to work for both of us and never seeming to get through. Yes, I like it when she fucks other guys and doesn't fuck me. Go figure.
What I actually wanted to post a quick update about was that quite to my amusement, after not seeing Paul last week she found herself feeling quite horny and asked me if I'd "help her". I expected her to ask me to lick or go down on her or maybe play with some of her toys with her. Instead she asked me if I'd like to fuck her - yes, with a condom on. I jumped at the opportunity and as we were getting into it she asked me if I 'd do one more thing for her. That if I hadn't cum by the time she's done, that I pull out and finish another way. I laughed and told her "sort of like a human dildo" taking one of Peaks lines. She giggled and said she'd cum better with me that way than with her toys and said she needed it. I was rock hard as we got started and she complimented me as well as us when she said again how awesome I'd made her feel when we went away "even before you came in me".
She was quite into it and I was very aware of just how I was making her feel. I thought about trying to time it to cum with her or just afterwards but I couldn't get the right rhythm and still really get her off as I knew she wanted. So I just went for it and made her scream. As she held me tighlty as she calmed down she asked me if I was okay with what she'd asked - and I was. I felt so horny as I pulled out of her and was still so huge and hard. I pulled off the condom and proceeded to stroke just a few times till I came all over her stomach and let a lot drip all over her pussy. She squealed as she felt it land on her and she smiled broadly when I was done and she nodded towards her pussy and without saying a word, I knew she wanted me to lick my mess off of her.
What I actually wanted to post a quick update about was that quite to my amusement, after not seeing Paul last week she found herself feeling quite horny and asked me if I'd "help her". I expected her to ask me to lick or go down on her or maybe play with some of her toys with her. Instead she asked me if I'd like to fuck her - yes, with a condom on. I jumped at the opportunity and as we were getting into it she asked me if I 'd do one more thing for her. That if I hadn't cum by the time she's done, that I pull out and finish another way. I laughed and told her "sort of like a human dildo" taking one of Peaks lines. She giggled and said she'd cum better with me that way than with her toys and said she needed it. I was rock hard as we got started and she complimented me as well as us when she said again how awesome I'd made her feel when we went away "even before you came in me".
She was quite into it and I was very aware of just how I was making her feel. I thought about trying to time it to cum with her or just afterwards but I couldn't get the right rhythm and still really get her off as I knew she wanted. So I just went for it and made her scream. As she held me tighlty as she calmed down she asked me if I was okay with what she'd asked - and I was. I felt so horny as I pulled out of her and was still so huge and hard. I pulled off the condom and proceeded to stroke just a few times till I came all over her stomach and let a lot drip all over her pussy. She squealed as she felt it land on her and she smiled broadly when I was done and she nodded towards her pussy and without saying a word, I knew she wanted me to lick my mess off of her.
You go Stb! Sounds like you both are enjoying hour adventure together. Its nice to read that Sue has taken charge of your sex lives, that things are hotter for you both and you still have the love and respect for each other that allows you to venture down this road. So as this continues, do you think it will continue like it is or is there anything else that you discussed that will put a different spin beyond reconnecting every 4-5 weeks? I almost thought she was going to try and start controlling your orgasm, well she kinda did. What if she would have asked you not to cum at all?
So, I probably should have added that I encouraged her to do more crazy stuff with me however she wanted. What she asked me was something that I hadn't said or suggested directly but I did tell her that she should feel free to enjoy her own sexuality how she wanted and for the pleasure she wanted, even if, at times it would only be for us. She had long said and now felt she may be past, where she said she felt bad about asking me to just pleasure her - orally or otherwise - and not let me have fun with her or get off. I told her that I enjoyed it and that it turned me on that she would want that - and it surprised me that she went for it so soon or in the way she did, but don't get me wrong I loved it and I told her so last night too - that I loved what she did with me and that even though I didn't get off inside her, that it was still quite intense when I did - she giggled and said that she could tell it was good for me by how much I came and she said "how you came too" which I guess was her way of saying I was really into it.
Far2 - she has never said that I shouldn't cum, she's not into that as she just doesn't feel it's what she wants. As I see it as it becomes clearer, she wants to control what happens with and for her but doesn't particularly care if I do or don't cum.
What she has obviously kept no secret is that she has repeated that in between our weekends when we reconnect, she feels actually quite strongly that she likes how SHE feels when she only lets Paul cum in her. Of course my telling her that it is one of the things that absolutely turns me on incredibly helped her accept her own desire and to come out and tell me more openly. As I'd said, she says she loves how she feels sexually - how she is so turned on all the time by what we're doing - and yes - that I want her to do it. Like Saturday night when she asked me to make her cum - I could have easily taken longer to get her off and timed it more that I came with her or just after she did - but honestly, it turned me on even more to do just what she asked for. She came quite hard - like when we'd been away - even without me cumming in her and when I felt her relax afterwards, yes, I could have taken like 2 or 3 more strokes and probably cum. But then it was ME who didn't want to. I don't know if I can ever put it into words why I would want to pull out of her just then and masturbate instead - but knowing she asked me to do that was a big part of it - and it just made me so horny to know what I was giving up at her request. Her eyes were wide as saucers when she felt that I was going to do it and I pulled out of her and I honestly loved doing it. Again, I won't say I came as much or as hard as if I'd kept on fucking her - but in it's own way it felt so awesome to do it for her and to let her know and see that I loved doing it - and believe me I did - stroking out the last few thick spurts as my cock became so sensitive I felt my body tense again and again even though there was no more cum.
There were a lot more things that we got out in the open while we were away. I told her again of how intoxicated I felt when I knew that she'd been with Paul recently and what thoughts still fill my mind when I see her naked.
One main thing from our talks that came up was her asking me what had changed in me when I came out with my beta-desire and more aptly, she asked me how I felt about it now. But she really wanted to talk about what had changed in me over time that I was so accepting of "less but better" sex with her - and her comment was related to how she too felt that our "reconnection" was even better than I'd thought. It wasn't easy to tell her but I tried. I told her how I seemed to have felt less threatened by not having sex with her after she'd been with her lover. I told her that I could easily remember how I felt that I just HAD to have her when she'd come home and how tormented I felt when I didn't. But then I don't know, I think I became more at ease with it and then I said it.
I told her liked the changes in her and how her attitude and approach to sex had changed. I told her that I loved her taking control of her own desires and that as the time had gone by, I guessed that her continued telling me that my enjoyment of it was a necessity for her - that it made me more relaxed about everything. She asked me if there was anything else that was going on and even at one point asked if I was maybe bisexual or something like that in my liking her with other guys so much. I joked with her and said that I didn't think that was what it was but I did admit to her that I loved that she liked her lover cumming in her so much. When she told me that she really liked how she felt to just be with Paul she asked me why denial turned me on so much. I told her I honestly couldn't answer her other than that it made me want her more and more.
I can probably go on about his for longer but don't have time right now. Suffice to say that she now understands that my not-cumming in her turns me on. We talked about whether I might even use condoms with her on our weekends. I told her that it turned me on to think about her possibly preferring that only Paul would be cumming in her for longer periods of time and she said she liked that too - again, that it reallly made her aroused and horny - but then she said that at the same time, she loved that I'd cum in her as I did when we were away.
She is feeling better this week so the schedule will likely resume, especially with the weather being so much nicer too.
Far2 - she has never said that I shouldn't cum, she's not into that as she just doesn't feel it's what she wants. As I see it as it becomes clearer, she wants to control what happens with and for her but doesn't particularly care if I do or don't cum.
What she has obviously kept no secret is that she has repeated that in between our weekends when we reconnect, she feels actually quite strongly that she likes how SHE feels when she only lets Paul cum in her. Of course my telling her that it is one of the things that absolutely turns me on incredibly helped her accept her own desire and to come out and tell me more openly. As I'd said, she says she loves how she feels sexually - how she is so turned on all the time by what we're doing - and yes - that I want her to do it. Like Saturday night when she asked me to make her cum - I could have easily taken longer to get her off and timed it more that I came with her or just after she did - but honestly, it turned me on even more to do just what she asked for. She came quite hard - like when we'd been away - even without me cumming in her and when I felt her relax afterwards, yes, I could have taken like 2 or 3 more strokes and probably cum. But then it was ME who didn't want to. I don't know if I can ever put it into words why I would want to pull out of her just then and masturbate instead - but knowing she asked me to do that was a big part of it - and it just made me so horny to know what I was giving up at her request. Her eyes were wide as saucers when she felt that I was going to do it and I pulled out of her and I honestly loved doing it. Again, I won't say I came as much or as hard as if I'd kept on fucking her - but in it's own way it felt so awesome to do it for her and to let her know and see that I loved doing it - and believe me I did - stroking out the last few thick spurts as my cock became so sensitive I felt my body tense again and again even though there was no more cum.
There were a lot more things that we got out in the open while we were away. I told her again of how intoxicated I felt when I knew that she'd been with Paul recently and what thoughts still fill my mind when I see her naked.
One main thing from our talks that came up was her asking me what had changed in me when I came out with my beta-desire and more aptly, she asked me how I felt about it now. But she really wanted to talk about what had changed in me over time that I was so accepting of "less but better" sex with her - and her comment was related to how she too felt that our "reconnection" was even better than I'd thought. It wasn't easy to tell her but I tried. I told her how I seemed to have felt less threatened by not having sex with her after she'd been with her lover. I told her that I could easily remember how I felt that I just HAD to have her when she'd come home and how tormented I felt when I didn't. But then I don't know, I think I became more at ease with it and then I said it.
I told her liked the changes in her and how her attitude and approach to sex had changed. I told her that I loved her taking control of her own desires and that as the time had gone by, I guessed that her continued telling me that my enjoyment of it was a necessity for her - that it made me more relaxed about everything. She asked me if there was anything else that was going on and even at one point asked if I was maybe bisexual or something like that in my liking her with other guys so much. I joked with her and said that I didn't think that was what it was but I did admit to her that I loved that she liked her lover cumming in her so much. When she told me that she really liked how she felt to just be with Paul she asked me why denial turned me on so much. I told her I honestly couldn't answer her other than that it made me want her more and more.
I can probably go on about his for longer but don't have time right now. Suffice to say that she now understands that my not-cumming in her turns me on. We talked about whether I might even use condoms with her on our weekends. I told her that it turned me on to think about her possibly preferring that only Paul would be cumming in her for longer periods of time and she said she liked that too - again, that it reallly made her aroused and horny - but then she said that at the same time, she loved that I'd cum in her as I did when we were away.
She is feeling better this week so the schedule will likely resume, especially with the weather being so much nicer too.
Squirm - the other thing that I am coming to realize is that I am very comfortable and happy with what we are doing right now. Of course that may and will likely change as things progress but for now, as I've been saying, denial seems to drive the arousal and feelings that I have wanted to feel for so long now. I love knowing that I am willingly giving her to Paul and encouraging her to seek her sexual pleasure from him and not me - for whatever reason, I am perpetually hard and aroused at knowing what is happening is what I want to feel.
But what i am also realizing is that as i'm becoming much more comfortable with all of this, the need to seek feedback and others thoughts is also decreasing. I'm finding less "need" to post here and hear of other's responses, indeed as Sue and I have become more open and talk more and that she says she understands what turns me on and that it's okay with her, it seems like things are reaching that equilibrium I spoke of. Even now I'm getting horny to start to plan our next weekend away in another 3 weeks. Sue is starting to get into it and thinking that maybe we should go different places each time it's our turn to reconnect. So horny to hear her tell me "that'll be when you get to have me again".
But what i am also realizing is that as i'm becoming much more comfortable with all of this, the need to seek feedback and others thoughts is also decreasing. I'm finding less "need" to post here and hear of other's responses, indeed as Sue and I have become more open and talk more and that she says she understands what turns me on and that it's okay with her, it seems like things are reaching that equilibrium I spoke of. Even now I'm getting horny to start to plan our next weekend away in another 3 weeks. Sue is starting to get into it and thinking that maybe we should go different places each time it's our turn to reconnect. So horny to hear her tell me "that'll be when you get to have me again".
STB
I do understand wht, you are saying about your posting. here but it would b a very big. loss if you stopped it althought. we all look so forward to each and, every update you post so all i can say is have fun and .enjoy it while you can.
and i guess i hope that you will keep us posted on all of , you and Sue's fun togather.
keep us posted.
your thread would be very much missed here.
I do understand wht, you are saying about your posting. here but it would b a very big. loss if you stopped it althought. we all look so forward to each and, every update you post so all i can say is have fun and .enjoy it while you can.
and i guess i hope that you will keep us posted on all of , you and Sue's fun togather.
keep us posted.
your thread would be very much missed here.
Steve, Very understandable as it is not uncommon to reduce posting within forums such as this for feedback once you have truly embraced and become comfortable with everything. My wife and I have our own blog (individually and as a couple) that we each post to, allows for each of us to chronicle our adventures, desires, emotions, feelings and needs. While you can open them up for public viewing and comments our couples blog is private and we only open it up to select people. Doing a blog might be a good alternative to these forum.
I must say that I like your wife's suggestion of going to a different place each time. At this new stage you will find that you will find a great deal of enjoyment, the increased intimacy, the increased communication, the deeper connection. Enjoy the journey...
I must say that I like your wife's suggestion of going to a different place each time. At this new stage you will find that you will find a great deal of enjoyment, the increased intimacy, the increased communication, the deeper connection. Enjoy the journey...
SoonToBe said:
So, last night and this morning were just perfect examples of how things have become very relaxed about Sue and Paul.
Last night she teased me whether I was getting horny for her and I joked back that I always am - it led to just a relaxed conversation between us where I again told her how it turned me on that she was going to be with her lover again today and tomorrow. She told me openly how she'd missed being with him and how I had only partially satisfied her when she used-me last weekend. I told her that I knew she was horny for him especially after not seeing him last week and I joked that her pussy must have an itch that she wants him to scratch. She even told me, without even a flinch, about how she missed feeling him cum in her and I don't think she was surprised when I told her that I missed that too, she giggled and told me she loved me when I said that.
So this morning she was all aglow coming out of the shower and she took the time once again to ask me about what she should wear for him - she held a few different pairs of panties and bra's against her and asking me what she would look best in. I told her now that she has a little bit of a suntan, that she looked awesome in her black bra and panties and she giggled that "we need to go to the nude beach again soon" so she can get an all-over tan instead of the contrasting look she has now with bikini lines and such. She stayed naked as she did her hair and I could clearly tell she'd run the razor over her pussy too as it looked baby smooth as she rubbed a little lotion in and all around.
The thing was, before she pulled up her panties she walked up to me and said "just feel" and she spread her legs a bit and as I ran my finger through her now spread pussy she giggled and said "I told you I'd missed him" and as my finger ran past the opening to her vagina it was soaking wet and swollen feeling. I probed a little bit but she said "don't go in hun". She giggled that "can you believe how wet I am? I woke up this way" and I told her that I hoped she enjoyed herself with him. I thought about suggesting that I was hoping she'd come home and let me clean her up again but before I said anything I stopped myself, I didn't want to add any pressure to her thoughts and I really do want it to be if she wants me to. When she pulled up her panties and pulled her bra into place she came over to me and kissed me passionately and she reached down and into my boxers and whispered "I want to see you later tonight, okay?" Again, nothing to hide between us and I told her back that I couldn't wait - and I really can't. My cock is so hard right now just thinking about later.
We started talking also about when we'll go away next. Thinking probably last weekend in July, yes, it'll be 5 weeks and she asked me if that was okay and I told her that we should try it and see whether that last week becomes just too much. She said that she would really be wanting me if we waited that long and she smiled and said that she's already starting to think about me and that when she's with Paul later, that she wanted me to know that she thinks about me a lot.
That's what I was trying to say about this equilibrium or new-norm we've seemed to fallen into. It's just easy between us. Our kids are both giving us a lot of room - now that both of them have cars, it turns out they are rarely here. But between us, it's just become easier sexually to simply know that every 4 or 5 weeks or so is when it is "our turn" and that in between - my god I am so into how it feels to know she is with him and not me. The first week or so masturbating is incredibly satisfying but now I recognize how that feeling changes into one of more desire for her as the weeks pass by. I won't say jerking off isn't as good - but instead of leaving me feeling drained and relieved in addition to being satisfied - I still have the satisfaction and enjoyment - but as the weeks go by I find I need to be with her more and more such that by the last week I can see jerking off and still being horny for her and wanting her more and more. She knows that and she says that is what she is wanting to feel more and more of herself - and she is. She's said that's what she's wanted to get to feeling about me again and the lack of pressure or this obligatory feeling to pleasure me is what's helping her build up her desires for me much in the same way.
It may not make sense to everyone but it has become quite clear to me that this dynamic works for us - will it always? Probably not, if Paul fades from the picture then things will change. But I can also see us playing with the time between our weekends away - maybe a sooner one in the future - or maybe one that stretches to 5 or 6 weeks in-betweeen - in which case I am thinking that our weekend away would really be to some place more special.
Last night she teased me whether I was getting horny for her and I joked back that I always am - it led to just a relaxed conversation between us where I again told her how it turned me on that she was going to be with her lover again today and tomorrow. She told me openly how she'd missed being with him and how I had only partially satisfied her when she used-me last weekend. I told her that I knew she was horny for him especially after not seeing him last week and I joked that her pussy must have an itch that she wants him to scratch. She even told me, without even a flinch, about how she missed feeling him cum in her and I don't think she was surprised when I told her that I missed that too, she giggled and told me she loved me when I said that.
So this morning she was all aglow coming out of the shower and she took the time once again to ask me about what she should wear for him - she held a few different pairs of panties and bra's against her and asking me what she would look best in. I told her now that she has a little bit of a suntan, that she looked awesome in her black bra and panties and she giggled that "we need to go to the nude beach again soon" so she can get an all-over tan instead of the contrasting look she has now with bikini lines and such. She stayed naked as she did her hair and I could clearly tell she'd run the razor over her pussy too as it looked baby smooth as she rubbed a little lotion in and all around.
The thing was, before she pulled up her panties she walked up to me and said "just feel" and she spread her legs a bit and as I ran my finger through her now spread pussy she giggled and said "I told you I'd missed him" and as my finger ran past the opening to her vagina it was soaking wet and swollen feeling. I probed a little bit but she said "don't go in hun". She giggled that "can you believe how wet I am? I woke up this way" and I told her that I hoped she enjoyed herself with him. I thought about suggesting that I was hoping she'd come home and let me clean her up again but before I said anything I stopped myself, I didn't want to add any pressure to her thoughts and I really do want it to be if she wants me to. When she pulled up her panties and pulled her bra into place she came over to me and kissed me passionately and she reached down and into my boxers and whispered "I want to see you later tonight, okay?" Again, nothing to hide between us and I told her back that I couldn't wait - and I really can't. My cock is so hard right now just thinking about later.
We started talking also about when we'll go away next. Thinking probably last weekend in July, yes, it'll be 5 weeks and she asked me if that was okay and I told her that we should try it and see whether that last week becomes just too much. She said that she would really be wanting me if we waited that long and she smiled and said that she's already starting to think about me and that when she's with Paul later, that she wanted me to know that she thinks about me a lot.
That's what I was trying to say about this equilibrium or new-norm we've seemed to fallen into. It's just easy between us. Our kids are both giving us a lot of room - now that both of them have cars, it turns out they are rarely here. But between us, it's just become easier sexually to simply know that every 4 or 5 weeks or so is when it is "our turn" and that in between - my god I am so into how it feels to know she is with him and not me. The first week or so masturbating is incredibly satisfying but now I recognize how that feeling changes into one of more desire for her as the weeks pass by. I won't say jerking off isn't as good - but instead of leaving me feeling drained and relieved in addition to being satisfied - I still have the satisfaction and enjoyment - but as the weeks go by I find I need to be with her more and more such that by the last week I can see jerking off and still being horny for her and wanting her more and more. She knows that and she says that is what she is wanting to feel more and more of herself - and she is. She's said that's what she's wanted to get to feeling about me again and the lack of pressure or this obligatory feeling to pleasure me is what's helping her build up her desires for me much in the same way.
It may not make sense to everyone but it has become quite clear to me that this dynamic works for us - will it always? Probably not, if Paul fades from the picture then things will change. But I can also see us playing with the time between our weekends away - maybe a sooner one in the future - or maybe one that stretches to 5 or 6 weeks in-betweeen - in which case I am thinking that our weekend away would really be to some place more special.
Last night was a repeat of the last time she saw him on Wednesday afternoon. I had texted her that both our kids wouldn't be home till later last night and she stayed at Pauls a bit later than usual. It wasn't until after 7pm when she came in and from the look on her face it was obvious what I knew to be true, she really needed to be with him. I had only given her a little relief and even with her masturbating again (she doesn't think I know but I 'felt her' getting herself off on Tuesday morning when she woke up and still thought I was asleep), I could tell she was really looking forward to fucking him. In a way, it really turned me on that I had gotten her horny for him in a way and it felt good to me to know he would be equally horny for her after not seeing her last week.
Peak and Raks just can't understand how awesome it felt last night to have her in bed with me and to hear her ask me to help undress her and to reveal her pussy and to know that I wasn't going to get to fuck her, that I was just going to get to enjoy sharing what she would about being with him. I was even eager myself to strip down and masturbate while I got to lick and play with her. And I wasn't disappointed.
With her now really knowing that I want her to enjoy everything with Paul, it seems to be what she needed to let go of these feelings she'd talked about and she knew last night that I wasn't going to have sex with her even if I might have wanted to - I did, but at the same time I so wanted to kneel next to her and masturbate instead. I guess that's really the big part that she and I have both come to accept and stop questioning or feeling awkward about. I love that she lets Paul cum in her and I would even go as far as to say that if she asked me to use condoms with her on our weekends away - that I would - I can't explain it but giving up that intimacy with her just turns me on incredibly. And last night was that same feeling - seeing her labia swollen as I pulled her panties off and seeing a darkened area in the crotch of them - to as she spread her legs, seeing that her pussy was open and wet at the bottom and as she spread her legs, her labia parted and revealed all of her. Just knowing that he'd had her that way not more than a few hours earlier continues to take my breath away till this day.
We'd talked before hand and I knew she only wanted my fingers and tongue in her, but last night surprised me when she asked me, after a few minutes of having fun, when she asked me if I would "make me cum one more time". I moved to a better position and let her enjoy my tongue while I finger-fucked her with one, then two and then three fingers. She moaned and moaned until she pushed me away and told me she wanted to watch me too. It wasn't an easy position to be in but it did turn her on to be sort of 69'ing on our side - but this time when I had her going she didn't ask or make me stop and I so loved feeling and seeing her cum from my fingers. Then it was my turn and I was almost there when she rolled onto her back away from me and moved so she was up close with my cock as I started to stroke again. She teased me that "this is all you get till we go away baby" and I felt her hand caress my balls for a moment as she moaned and sighed out loud. It didn't take me more than just a few moments before the eroticism of the moment got to me and she knew it. When I was about to cum she whispered "aim it here" and she cupped her hand near the head of my cock. A moment later I filled her palm with my sticky load including drawing out the last few drops which made her moan out loud. I knew what was coming next and even as I caught my breath I knew to turn onto my side so that she could bring her hand up to my mouth.
And again even after cumming intensely last night, I'm still rock hard again thinking of her being with him tonight.
Peak and Raks just can't understand how awesome it felt last night to have her in bed with me and to hear her ask me to help undress her and to reveal her pussy and to know that I wasn't going to get to fuck her, that I was just going to get to enjoy sharing what she would about being with him. I was even eager myself to strip down and masturbate while I got to lick and play with her. And I wasn't disappointed.
With her now really knowing that I want her to enjoy everything with Paul, it seems to be what she needed to let go of these feelings she'd talked about and she knew last night that I wasn't going to have sex with her even if I might have wanted to - I did, but at the same time I so wanted to kneel next to her and masturbate instead. I guess that's really the big part that she and I have both come to accept and stop questioning or feeling awkward about. I love that she lets Paul cum in her and I would even go as far as to say that if she asked me to use condoms with her on our weekends away - that I would - I can't explain it but giving up that intimacy with her just turns me on incredibly. And last night was that same feeling - seeing her labia swollen as I pulled her panties off and seeing a darkened area in the crotch of them - to as she spread her legs, seeing that her pussy was open and wet at the bottom and as she spread her legs, her labia parted and revealed all of her. Just knowing that he'd had her that way not more than a few hours earlier continues to take my breath away till this day.
We'd talked before hand and I knew she only wanted my fingers and tongue in her, but last night surprised me when she asked me, after a few minutes of having fun, when she asked me if I would "make me cum one more time". I moved to a better position and let her enjoy my tongue while I finger-fucked her with one, then two and then three fingers. She moaned and moaned until she pushed me away and told me she wanted to watch me too. It wasn't an easy position to be in but it did turn her on to be sort of 69'ing on our side - but this time when I had her going she didn't ask or make me stop and I so loved feeling and seeing her cum from my fingers. Then it was my turn and I was almost there when she rolled onto her back away from me and moved so she was up close with my cock as I started to stroke again. She teased me that "this is all you get till we go away baby" and I felt her hand caress my balls for a moment as she moaned and sighed out loud. It didn't take me more than just a few moments before the eroticism of the moment got to me and she knew it. When I was about to cum she whispered "aim it here" and she cupped her hand near the head of my cock. A moment later I filled her palm with my sticky load including drawing out the last few drops which made her moan out loud. I knew what was coming next and even as I caught my breath I knew to turn onto my side so that she could bring her hand up to my mouth.
And again even after cumming intensely last night, I'm still rock hard again thinking of her being with him tonight.
SoonToBe said:
You are right STB, maybe I can't understand. And, that is so because it goes against your own logic, your own statements. May be contradiction is the name of life.
What I didn't understood and have not understood till now is the reason she came up with for denying you. "I love to deny you", "I enjoy having it with Paul instead of you because of xyz reasons" seem to be acceptable reasons. But the reason - "That I used to feel pressurized to have sex with you and so I will deny you"...that's indigestible. And, as you have already said, you need not explain. I am no more looking for an explanation as well - now.
As you have said rightly now, it is now that you too have accepted - that you are and will always be beta to someone Alpha. Good for you and Sue to have found your real self. That's how it has been and that's the primary reason for your denial and your enjoying that. It is good for you to accept that she is better satisfied by her lover than by you and probably that has been the case since beginning. As of now these roles are just limited to bedroom...don't let them spread beyond that...(I suspect that your role as beta will spread beyond bedroom as well.
Steve,
I had decided not to comment for a while. I am pleased to see the old loving version of Sue reappearing and I was wondering if it would last. It's looking good so far and I'm sure you are pleased with the evolution.
I disagree with your reading of me in that I have always understood your cuckold desires and your preference for denial and masturbation. A bit of a contradiction in itself. All year you have been consistent in your preferences here and have only evolved them slightly with coaching from Sue. Even now you are ignoring her refound desire for full reconnection by thinking about using condoms. It's the second time you've mentioned it in spite of Sue's preference for being filled. Listen to your Alpha beta man.
Like Raks, my question has been consistently about Sue's motivation these last six months. Her statement about 'pressure' could easily have been countered by her totally controlling when you came with her and by her simply explaining that her days with her lovers didn't end when she came home as she still had feeling to savour. Her actions though indicated that she didn't seem to care at all about having any sexual contact with you. That is NOT the same as her knowing that you like the denial and only this happy coincidence prevented what could have a major problem had it continued. As I said above though, Sue seems to be past this now and your ongoing story appears to be on stable bit still cuckold ground. Right where you want it..
The future as ever looks interesting.
I had decided not to comment for a while. I am pleased to see the old loving version of Sue reappearing and I was wondering if it would last. It's looking good so far and I'm sure you are pleased with the evolution.
I disagree with your reading of me in that I have always understood your cuckold desires and your preference for denial and masturbation. A bit of a contradiction in itself. All year you have been consistent in your preferences here and have only evolved them slightly with coaching from Sue. Even now you are ignoring her refound desire for full reconnection by thinking about using condoms. It's the second time you've mentioned it in spite of Sue's preference for being filled. Listen to your Alpha beta man.
Like Raks, my question has been consistently about Sue's motivation these last six months. Her statement about 'pressure' could easily have been countered by her totally controlling when you came with her and by her simply explaining that her days with her lovers didn't end when she came home as she still had feeling to savour. Her actions though indicated that she didn't seem to care at all about having any sexual contact with you. That is NOT the same as her knowing that you like the denial and only this happy coincidence prevented what could have a major problem had it continued. As I said above though, Sue seems to be past this now and your ongoing story appears to be on stable bit still cuckold ground. Right where you want it..
The future as ever looks interesting.
- Status
