Living the Cuckold lifestyle with children at home?

[cuckles]

I don't think we're at the stage of recommending literature for K to read BUT you bring up an interesting point.
When K found out about her mom and M she was seeing someone. They had talked about a future but she is also 23 and not exactly focused on settling down. They split up over the summer. She has dated a couple of guys. We met one in particular. VERY sweet young guy, obviously besotted with K. According to her mom, they are not serious and he knows that he is not the only one K is dating.
I don't think I could actually ask her what she thinks of her mom dating M but I have wondered how much her knowledge of that relationship has informed her dating life.
She doesn't avoid the topic in front of me and she is fairly discreet when she does talk about it but I know she has continued to "tease" her mom about her cougar status. The last time she was down, and one time when Cyn was in LA they went shoe shopping. Basically for Fuck-me heels. And she continues to "approve" of M.

 

[mimi27406]

This is an important an interesting thread!

Our duty to our children!
Duty to make them aware!
The joy of getting it off our chest!

 

[docil4all]

it is crystal clear that when one his a submissive husband and when wife's lovers come on a daily nad night basis to your home and sleep in the bed of your wife, the children are well aware of the situation.
As long you don't try to cheat and tell lies and as long that it is clear this is a win-win situation for all, your wife who is satisfied, yourself who is a "liberal mind" and your children who gain "several uncles", and as long as they are safe from any sexual involvement on their side, there is not much to say

 

[Custer Laststand]

Cuckles,

Regarding your post of 13 Feb. '10:

I don't think we're at the stage of recommending literature for K to read...

Sorry. I didn't realize suggesting a book — even an apparently well-researched, well-written, easy-to-read, relevant and basically fascinating book — would be considered extreme.

BUT you bring up an interesting point.

Thanks (if it's my post you're referring to).

When K [my daughter] found out about her mom and M [her mother's lover], she [K] was seeing someone. They had talked about a future but she is also 23 and not exactly focused on settling down.

Nor should she be. The average age of marriage has been increasing; I think it's now significantly higher that 23 (more like 27, perhaps?).

They split up over the summer. She has dated a couple of guys. We met one in particular. VERY sweet young guy, obviously besotted with K. According to her mom, they are not serious and he knows that he is not the only one K is dating.

If your daughter's current lover is comfortable with knowing he is not her only lover, and if your daughter considers it reasonable and appropriate to be "seeing" more than one man, that's probably positive.

I don't think I could actually ask her what she thinks of her mom dating M but I have wondered how much her knowledge of that relationship has informed her dating life.

Mothers influence their daughters substantially more than fathers influence their sons (and daughters), generally speaking, so you can be confident K's knowledge that her mother cuckolds you and openly lets her know about it is exerting profound influence on her views of how to relate to men.

She doesn't avoid the topic in front of me and she is fairly discreet when she does talk about it, but I know she has continued to "tease" her mom about her cougar status.

That means, of course, your daughter continues to be interested in her mother's cuckolding of you with younger men, is impressed that her mother is capable of attracting younger men, and (almost certainly) approves and considers it a "great womanly open secret" between the two of them.

The last time she was down, and one time when Cyn was in LA, they went shoe shopping for Fuck-Me heels. And she continues to "approve" of M [my wife / her mother's lover].

All positive. Clearly your wife/cuckoldress is managing her relationships with her daughter, her lover, and you very well.

My congratulations to your wife for her management abilities, and to you as well for having attracted such a competent woman and for maintaining your marriage to her as her faithful cuckold.

—Custer

 

[cuckles]

Custer,
Thanks for your as always thoughtful reply.
It isn't that an apparently good book is extreme, it is just that we are not yet at the stage of suggesting it to her. Although she and Cyn have a good relationship about this, the scenario is still that Cyndi is having her well earned fling and it happens to be with a good looking younger man.
Obviously, a weekend trip up the coast implies at least acceptance on my part but Cyn has told me she hasn't been all that explicit about how long she has been fucking others (nearly ten years) or how I have helped her shave and dress for M.
When K caught her she was in our driveway so she knows he has fucked Cyndi in our house at least once.
Obviously more will come out as K gets more comfortable asking her mother, but so far Cyn has been careful about exactly how much she tells.
Custer, your replies are always interesting. Thanks again.

 

[ffred]

Fred,

Thanks for your interesting updates.

It is a pleasure for me doing so.

It sounds like your daughter's relationship with your wife Nadine, since being fully informed of her mother's cuckolding of you and its rationale, has developed in a near-ideal way.

Honestly speaking, I never ever expected this outcome of my situation as it was when I started this thread.

As I suspected, they have become much closer as a result of sharing this knowledge. It's very positive that they go out looking for men together and support each other in doing so.

Deep down I agree with you but you maybe know, without living in a big city, it is risky to live this kind of lifestyle because the danger being caught or growing roumors is high. We spoke about this topic with our daughter and she seems to be well aware of it. Back to relity: YES I agree, it is positive!

Now that Birgit has met a man close to her own age she thinks may be a serious candidate as a long-term partner, you might suggest she begin devising ways to test his potential for accepting his future role as her cuckold.

Birgit is in the middle of the testing process. But I will post as soon as there is a final result on the table.

Birgit and Nadine and you might be interested in reading it as well. T

I bought the book with the recommendation to my ladies to read it. I am sure they will!

Regards

fred

 

[Custer Laststand]

Fred,

Thanks for your reply. Good to hear from you again!

Birgit is in the middle of the testing process. I will post as soon as a final result is on the table.

Good for Birgit! I'll look forward to hearing about the nature of her testing process, and her judgement about her (potential) cuckold-in-waiting.

I bought the book with the recommendation to my ladies to read it. I am sure they will!

I'll also look forward to hearing your thoughts on this book, since you and your wife can reasonably be considered experts on this subject.

Cheers—

Custer

 

[ffred]

Update

Hi all,

thanks for your interesting comments. Now I will give you an update on the development between my daughter and her bf about their future relationship:

As I told you in my previous posts the behaviour of my daughter Birgit changed. During her night outs with her mother/my wife Nadine she developed her "wild side" having sex with different partners even if she was shocked when she found out the details about our life style. Also we found out that most of her lover were older than 35 or maybe older than 40. Before she always said that people older than 30 are nearly "at the end of their life cycle"!

For all new readers, maybe not reading the old posts I want to tell you, that Birgit is full grown with an age of 23, so not a child anymore.

These older guys were sex partners but not her steady bf's. Now she found a nice young man, below 30 and they fell in love for each other. GREAT but she was in a difficult situation now.

I was on business trip in Swizerland and Birgit visited her mother in the evening of Thursday this week. She told her mother that she did not want to go out but having a serious discussion with her. Birgit told her mother that she had fallen in love with her new bf. Nadine was entusiastic, saying that we had the impression they would fit very good to each other and that we would support a "project" like this with all our possibilities.

Birgit thanked her mother but told her that this should not be a problem, there is another one. She told that her new bf has strict rules and wants to have a relationship strictly based on trust and fidelity.

Nadine asked: "And what is the problem about it?"

Birgit, looking for a right answer paused a minute, trying to find the right words and answered: " Mother, even if I critisised your lifestyle in the beginning I found out that it is some kind of thrill to live in that way. At the moment I enjoy having my regular night outs, knowing a lot of nice people, nice men, and honestly speaking also having sex with some of them. So on one hand I love my new bf with all my hard, and on the other hand I do not know if I am ready to have a strictly monogamous relationship according his rules. In my opinion I am too young to have this kind of relationship. I tried to discuss the possible levels but I had the impression that his strict frame does not allow any exceptions from his procedure.

So please give me some advice, I do not know what to do because I do not want to loose him, BUT I also do not want to follow his strict principles. I don't want to stopp my regular night out's even with you or with someone else."

Nadine replied: "When you found out about our life style we were in a similar difficult situation and we did not know how to handle it. So we asked some people for advice. I had endless discussions with your father finding out the right way to go. We had a lot of different advices but at the end it was our decision how to handle this problem. We decided for one given advice and this was HONESTY and TRUST. As you can see on your own person this developed successful so I want to give you my recommendation, also use HONESTY and TRUST."

Both were silent looking at each other with contemplative faces. At the end Birdit smiled, said thank you to her mother and left. Sunday Birgit came by for breakfast and informed us that everything went well. She informed her bf about her difficulties. He listened in silence. At the end he asked some questions, she answered in an honest way and said: "I do not know if I am able to live in such kind of relationship. That is totally differend from all my imaginations I ever had. Please give me some days to think about it, I will also be very honest with my answer. But I agree that it is much more preferable to discuss these topics in advance than doing it behind the back of the partner." On Saturday evening he informed Birgit that he cannot agree at the moment but is willing to try it. So they agreed having a trial period before deciding about it.

Birgit's final comment was: "The future will show us how far we will go. At the moment I do not know if he prefers to be informed about all the details of my night outs or if he will accept without knowing what happend there. But let us wait, he has to see how it will proceed and then he can decide whatever he wants."

So as it looks like, another example about the fact that women have stronger personalities!:

Ciao
fred

 

[Shidave]

Interesting developements. No doubt about women being stronger.

 

[ffred]

Interesting developements. No doubt about women being stronger.

Thanks

As it looks like after passing their first weekend under their new "rules", everything seems to be fine, even if Birgit's bf had other imaginations. They visited us yesterday afternoon and they talked with us and tried to have at least a slight discussion with small dosis of their new found arrangements.

ffred

 

[Custer Laststand]

The plot thickens....

 

[ffred]

ffred:
Any updates on how your daughter's BF is handling the rules your daughter laid out?

Sorry for the delayed response but the situation was quite "unclear" for a longer time.

It was very hard for Birgit`s bf to accept the new situation. After some days he informed Birgit that he will try to live according the new situation (not new rules, because he would not allow Birgit to develop new rules for their living together) but he does not want to hear anything about the nights out, evenings, nights ..... she will spend outside their flat. That worked for a while but we also could feel, that Birgit`s bf did not feel very well in his new position as a cuckold, even if he was not informed about the details of Birgit`s affairs.

On the other hand Birgit was also not experienced enough to live such a lifestyle. We had the impression that she could not fully devide between relationship and love to your partner and sex life with your lover, which in my opinion is one of the most important things in our lifestyle and Nadine is handling it in a perfect way.

So months went by, both not very happy with their relationship and one day her bf came to end their relationship officially. Birgit looked for an own flat because she did not want to go back home. Since that time we do not know about longer lasting relationships, she always tells her friends and relatives that she is single. After the separation Birgit went to her mother and asked if they could continue with their night outs because she enjoyed it very much. Nadine took her in her arms and told her, that she is willing to continue with the regular night outs but for conversations, having fun, meeting other people but not for "cock hunting" because that should not be the mail topic for their future get together. Birgit accepted and soon after this conversation they had their first night out celebrating Birgit`s new found freedom. Nadone told me that there was much fun involved in this evening and night but it was a lot different than before. Madine mentioned that the sexual "tension" for Birgit was missing so she did not enjoy this night out in a way Nadine enjoyed it.

As a logical consequence Birgit did not push her mother to repeat it once more and Nadine was waiting for a clear sign from Birgit.

Later Birgit told her mother that she goes out once or twice a week on her own and does some kind of bar hopping. Nadine asked if she is more "cock hunting" than bar hopping but Birgit negated. She said it is just for fun and entertainment.

 

[chrisjohn]

I remember when my mom told me that she was dating someone other then my father and I would see the guy come over now and then. It wasnt as different as it might seem and after a while you do grow into a friendship. I don't know if growing up in that kind of lifestyle is what precipitated the same type of lifestye with my wife but I know her daughter is or has become aware of my wifes desires and its like a big rewind of how things were with me years ago.

 

[cuckles]

Update:
So Cyndi's BF successfully completed his residency and is now in Boston doing his fellowship. Cyn is going to Boston in two weeks for a work conference but is also tacking on the first half of the week to see her BF.
K was down last week and she and Cyn went shopping.
Cyn tried on and bought a couple of pairs of STUNNING heels.
K asked "why are you buying those for a work conference?"
"Because it is in Boston and that is where he lives"
"Are you going to see him?"
"The meeting is only Thursday, Friday and Saturday"
"When do you leave?"
"The Friday before"
"Well, you'll probably be able to return those when you get home"
"Why?"
"If you wear those you're probably not leaving his house"
Giggles

 

[tuppinsinmo]

Having been where you are, there is no simple answer. You have to look at the kids and decide how to best explain to them what your doing and why. I agree with the honest approach, answer all questions, be perpared for a I don't like this attitude, and if that is ok for you then why not me.
In our case I just opened the door with the kids and told them out right it was something we wanted to do and we do it but we on the other hand do not advertise it, do not put them in embrassing siturations. And do not bring play mates home. There are some things they don't need to know. But when it comes up we don't deny it but we don't rub it in there face either.

 

[duke9555]

Having been where you are, there is no simple answer. You have to look at the kids and decide how to best explain to them what your doing and why. I agree with the honest approach, answer all questions, be perpared for a I don't like this attitude, and if that is ok for you then why not me.
In our case I just opened the door with the kids and told them out right it was something we wanted to do and we do it but we on the other hand do not advertise it, do not put them in embrassing siturations. And do not bring play mates home. There are some things they don't need to know. But when it comes up we don't deny it but we don't rub it in there face either.

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kids say the darndest stuff

 

[Custer Laststand]

Ffred,

Good to see you back. Your posts on your family life and your and your wife Nadine's gradual (never explicit, of course) transformation of her and your daughter Birgit from "proper" young woman to budding cuckoldress who fully accepts her own sexuality are always intriguing.

Sorry for the delayed response but the situation was quite unclear for a long time.

Hey, no problem... these things take time (usually, although not always).

It was very hard for Birgit`s boyfriend to accept the new situation (i.e. Birgit, at her insistence, being free to date and fuck other men). After some days he informed Birgit that he will try to live in accordance with this new situation (not new rules, because he would not allow Birgit to develop new rules for their living together) but he does not want to hear anything about her evenings and "nights out." .... That worked for a while but Birgit`s bf did not feel very well in his new position as her cuckold. ....

Birgit's (now-erstwhile) bf sounds like a rules guy who expected her to accept being "under control"... his control. It's hard for men like him to accept the concept of sexual freedom for women.

On the other hand Birgit was also not experienced enough to live such a lifestyle. ....

Or rather, Birgit's bf was not experienced enough to accept her as her own person, a woman in her own right.

One day her bf came to end their relationship officially. Birgit looked for her own flat because she did not want to go back home.

It sounds like your daughter accepted "loss" (arguably her gain) of her control-freak boyfriend without trauma and, what with seeing the need to have her own flat, has taken a large step toward accepting, within herself, the sexual woman she now knows she wants and needs to be.

.... Birgit has told her mother she goes out once or twice a week on her own and does some bar hopping. Nadine asked if she is more "cock hunting" than bar hopping but Birgit said no; it is just for fun and entertainment.

Hey... from your daughter's point of view, what isn't fun and entertaining about finding new men to fuck? Anyway, good for Birgit... pretty soon she'll succeed, as you're fully aware I'm sure. Perhaps your wife will subtly guide her toward recognition of the kind of man she needs to seek to become her cuckold husband. Perhaps Birgit will gradually come to recognize the optimal "man of her dreams" will need to have some characteristics in common with you... or at least be somewhat analogous.

I'll look forward to continued updates from you, even if widely-spaced.

—Custer

 

[babyruthiezhubby]

Most children even though adults are not going to understand what cuckold even is and if they do they are not going to understand their parents being into it. All 4 of Our kids know about us. It's a little hard to hide for us having a website but I don't think you need to go into any great detail to your kids about your life style. Your kids are never going to understand cuckold but they will understand swingers. I would go at it from that angle. Just tell her you are swingers and let it go at that. she won't like it as my daughters don't but at least they understand the term swinging.
The one thing you don't want your daughter doing is researching the cuckold life style. Any so called normal person researching cuckolding would find the life style sick and perverted after reading some of the material out there on the internet. You don't want your kids looking at you that way. Tell her your swingers and let it go at that. They are adults now and it's really none of their business..

 

[babyruthiezhubby]

When one of our daughters found out about Ruthie and I the news traveled fast to our other 3 daughters and to the rest of the family. We told them we were swingers because it's the easiest explanation for everyone to understand. We told them we had been in the lifestyle for years even while they lived at home and that we are the same parents we have always have been. tell her like Ruthie and I did our families and then let her and all family members know that it is your personal business as adults and it is not open for discussion anymore.
It has worked well for us.

 

[duke9555]

We have 2 kids at home (12 & 14), and we haven't had "overweight guests" since the oldest was 8. Being blessed with children carries with it a very serious responsibility; you don't know exactly what or how they are comprehending what they see or hear, or how it might affect them later. We hold no adult activities at home while children are in the house, and don't even allow pics/videos to be taken by anyone when my wife has sex with another man. Please keep your priorities in the correct order and don't be selfesh with your obligations.
For those of you that find this topic interesting, wait until you have children of your own ... you'll better understand then, trust me. Mac

=============

you're too funny MacnCheese