Harry - thanks for the feedback and explanations. I know that there's more that she will tell me eventually - but for now, some barriers have been brought down and there's much more candor. I still have some apprehensiveness - others here pointed that out long ago that I would probably feel what I do now, ceding more control to her.
I'm glad though that I've finally conveyed the type of desire that all of this gives me - both here and to her. I don't know why but even after all this time, it's still hard to be, at first, comfortably open with her about all of this - but it is so much easier now than in the past, and now, we both seem to open up more which - as 'she pointed out, makes her feel wonderfully close to me.
Far2 - I don't think you're right on your last comment - she's clearly told me that she very much enjoys the sex we are having - condom included and that she values that level of sharing.
Sometimes it's a bit much to think about it all - and there are even still some moments when I think that I don't want to do this, but they are all but nonexistent now compared to how I know (and have re-read) I was in the past.
Not sure where the road will lead but she's surely keeping me on edge.
I'm glad though that I've finally conveyed the type of desire that all of this gives me - both here and to her. I don't know why but even after all this time, it's still hard to be, at first, comfortably open with her about all of this - but it is so much easier now than in the past, and now, we both seem to open up more which - as 'she pointed out, makes her feel wonderfully close to me.
Far2 - I don't think you're right on your last comment - she's clearly told me that she very much enjoys the sex we are having - condom included and that she values that level of sharing.
Sometimes it's a bit much to think about it all - and there are even still some moments when I think that I don't want to do this, but they are all but nonexistent now compared to how I know (and have re-read) I was in the past.
Not sure where the road will lead but she's surely keeping me on edge.