You've all been very kind to give your views. I know it's my decision to make about what to do about this. Every relationship is different. I know that in ours, not saying anything to him about this no longer seems like an option.
This weekend is out because of being extremely busy with other plans. During the week will never work for us because of our schedules. I want to make sure we have all the time we need, if we need it, to discuss this.
So, I have made up my mind to bring it up to him next weekend. What I haven't decided on is how to bring it up.
I would appreciate any ideas anyone has to help me with this. Thanks.
How to bring it up?
Do you, or have you ever watched porn together as a couple? Has he ever asked?
If you do watch porn together, let him pick one out, and watch it. But don't give in to any activity unless is has a bm/wf scene in it. If it happens to have a bm/wf scene in it, then initiate the action.
I wouldn't go straight into watching a Jack Napier or a Lexington Steele flick just yet, but something a little more mainstream with a black guy or two in it.
But only initiate intimacy when there is a bm/wf scene on when you are watching. He WILL pick up on it, especially if he's been into this kind of porn on the PC. That doesn't mean he'll say anything, but it lets him know in a subtle way that you MIGHT be interested in talking about it.
Then the seed is there, in his mind, and he just might come forward and start asking you, rather than you confronting him over the porn he watches. That way, it's initiated by him, and not you, which depending on how you approach it, may seem like an attack.
I would certainly hope that a sexually expressive couple would have talked about a lot of different things, but I don't know how long you've been together.
I don't know anything about your (you and your husband) communication style, but try your best to be non-confrontational, or it will be just an arguement. Methinks.