Well, everything came out last night - in more ways than one!!! LOL - just had to start out with that line...
I have to say that perhaps Wednesday nights are when we seem to be able to talk most openly. Granted it's a bit different with me lying there stroking away - but it does really seem to be when we can talk the most.
We talked about a lot of things. I'm going to try to separate the important stuff we talked about from the sex-stuff we talked about.
Harry - one of the first things I told her was that if she's got second-thoughts or misgivings or any apprehension, then we should talk about them and make sure we both want to continue. I won't try to put everything exactly into chronological order or try to quote exact dialogue.
Sue agreed that the wasn't sure herself of what she wanted with Robert. I told her that she didn't need to have everything already thought and figured out and that she could just approach this with a "lets see what happens" type of approach. She said she is doing just that but then repeated again to me that she feels an attraction to him. I asked her if she'd felt that before and she said "maybe back when I was with Brad" but she said she didn't necessarily recognize it back then and wouldn't have been ready to accept it. We got into a little discussion about what she was feeling for Robert and she was honest and said that she felt a definite sexual attraction to him which has only gotten stronger since they finally had sex together.
She said that he's a nice guy who makes her feel wonderful. I asked her what he's said about the two of them. She told me that he's admitted to her that he's attracted to her - but she immediately added that "he's not looking for a wife" and that she feels they are both on the same-page with regards to what they are both feeling. Again she emphasized how he's very respectful of us - and how he's continued to tell her that he doesn't want to come between us - but that he has been very clear that he would very much like to provide her with sex that I can't/don't. And she says he's been clear that he doesn't want a relationship right now, that he wants time without being married to enjoy himself. She giggled and she says "that's where he says that I come in".
I didn't really say it to her but after hearing what she's said, I don't know if her feelings of a desire for this full-blown-affair are reciprocated by him or whether this is somethings he's projecting onto the situation. It has sounded all along to me that - much like Don - Robert is in post-divorce mode where he too is just looking for, essentially, just a good-fuck - which Sue obviously is
I asked her if she's mentioned her desires and thoughts and she said she has and he's always replied with basically the same thing - which is surprisingly similar to what I've said - lets see what happens. One thing she did make clear - to answer some other questions here - is that she's already said that he would definitely like to see her (fuck her?) more than just once a week.
So, I'm not sure now of how much of this is real, and how much of it is something that Sue is creating in her head.
Or - and this idea literally just came to me as I'm typing this - is she going through the motions as if this were the big affair she's got this obvious fantasy about - and is she possibly trying to see how it would be?
What is most arousing to me - especially after hearing all of this from her - is that it most definitely means it's her that is driving all of this. Others here have said she's been in control for a long time - perhaps you're right - which means that she definitely wants to do this and explore all of this stuff herself - but that she is also very mindful of what I want - and perhaps, again, thinking out loud here - maybe she's doing all of this because she knows it's what I want to experience?
We talked a bit about her thoughts on this whole full-affair thing. She was honest and said that she didn't really know what to expect or what she could truly let herself do and feel. I told her that I understood her motivations - that I'm sure it would feel wonderful to feel that sort of desire/attraction for someone new and how it could really reinvigorate her. She confessed that she was surprised at both just her thoughts about this much less my acceptance at first. But she's also said what I inferred earlier, that she's understanding a bit more of what turns me on and that is also something she's thought about.
I asked her if she thought she could fall in love with him. She was quiet for a bit and then said stuff similar to what Cara had said - that sometimes it's hard to separate the two - and she then added that she felt the sex was better when she felt some additional bond between them and she mentioned how she still looks back fondly on her time with Brad, when she allowed herself that additional closeness. But she immediately turned to me and said that no matter what she'd ever feel for Robert, that it wouldn't come between us. She asked me how I felt about it and I told her that I would feel insanely jealous about it but at the same time, knowing what else it meant, that it would turn me on too. I told her that I thought it would make me want her even more and would turn me on knowing she's enjoying sex with him instead of me. She said she couldn't fully understand that - or how I could be turned on by using condoms with her. I answered her that it's all in my head - the arousal at knowing what I couldn't have - and at the same time - knowing she's giving it to him. She said she didn't fully understand it but reasoned that it is "just like you liking me to be with other guys in general" and I smiled and said - exactly. At one point she asked me if "this will be enough to keep you happy?" - meaning my masturbating instead of actual sex with her. That was when I said that as long as it wasn't forever, that I thought I/we were at the point where I could deal with it for a little longer and repeated what she'd said about our vacations and her offer of "special times". She giggled and simply said "of course nothing's changed for that".
I'm sure there's more to share - some of which will probably fall into place when I describe some of the stuff we talked about as I masturbated for her.