So - she's asleep already and I'm wired.
Yes, Harry, I did agree. I do have second thoughts and have definitely considered telling her I want her before she goes.
But then. Just thinking that she wants this. I can't explain how it turns me on that she's wanting me to wait. I know it's crazy, but the idea that I may not have her before she comes back is both killing me to think about and yet - at the same time, knowing how horny she will be by then is just an incredible turn on. Seeing her get changed tonight, slipping off her panties and pulling on her night-shirt - I got a glimpse of her pussy and I am just totally rock-hard and like almost ready to cum just from typing this - that this time it's actually her that wants it, I can't explain it but I'm about to burst from the thought.
My head is all over the place. I just stepped away for a few minutes. I had one thought - that on one hand, I tell her I want her - or on the other hand, do I go for it and have this give me everything it can in terms of experiencing all of being a cuckold. It's weird to think that I want her to want him but I do. A part of me wants to ask for her rings before she leaves. No matter how crazy that may be - I can't lie - there IS a part of me that wants it. I want to sit on the bed while she packs her bag. Is that weird or crazy? Even if it's just clothes she's packing - I guess it's the symbolism of it. I have chills up my spine thinking about it.
But the biggest turn on for me is still thinking that its her that wants it this time.
Yeah, okay, I'm scared stiff too. I mean if I think about it too much, it scares me. But I don't think I'm scared of losing her - I still just don't see it - but I think I'm scared to have it happen - maybe it's apprehension and not fear. It does seem that it's approaching very quickly.
She promised me that she'd give me something that I'll enjoy before she leaves. I'm not quite sure what that means just yet.
Am I crazy - yeah.