Wife Exclusive to BF for awhile... Then back to me (REAL)
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Layer.Five said:
Well, yes of course I want Brenda to be happy, but it isn't totally as selfless as all that. Truth is, I get an incredible vicarious thrill knowing that my wife is being "taken" by another man, especially a virile "hunk" of a man like Ramiro. He has taken her from me, albeit temporarily, and she feels like she "belongs" to him sexually to the extent that she needs to be faithful to him.
Unlike some guys on this board, I don't get off on any kind of overt humilliation, nor would I be happy if I thought I would never have my wife again. Invariably, Brenda always eventually tires of her outside relationships, and then our sex life resumes with renewed vigor.
So, yes, Brenda is happy, as I want her to be, but her happiness keeps my loins burning as well!
Rick
Rick - we sound similar in many ways, I can totally understand your feelings regarding Brenda's happiness. We, Sue and I, part ways with you because we wouldn't want to make the break you two have, at least not for the amount of time you guys do. Still, I do understand and respect it and I'd be lying if I said it didn't arouse me...
Best...
Best...
Layer.Five said:
Well, I go into that somewhat in my first post. It has nothing to do with religion.
Brenda has difficulty being sexual with more than one man at a time. The way she explains it, she is "wired" to belong to one man sexually. She needs to immerse herself in him.
Initially, we did the swinging thing, and it left her cold. She is not able to compartmentalize sex from love. She must belong to a guy exclusively in order to really feel sexually satisfied. In her words, right now she is Ramiro's "mate," in a sexual sense, even though she is still 100% committed to me as my wife. As for being in a sexual relationship, for her it is all or none. She can't divide her sexual drive between men.
radicalguy said:
You say she is unable to compartmentalize sex from love and yet you say she is 100 % committed to you as your wife. Sort of contradictory isn't it. Because to have sex with Ramiro, she would have to love Ramiro and would have to committ to him. I know a person can love more than one, the capacity to love is unlimited, but the capacity to commiit is not. So I guess, she might be committed to your marriage bonds, but I think its wrong to say that she is committed to the marriage. If she is committed to you as a wife, she has to be you mate,because she can't compartmentalize love and sex. This is something I concluded from your statement. Of course I can only guess what happens between you two, you only know better and sorry if I am wrong, but your words made me say so.
Raks said:
I never said I totally understood it. I guess, in a way, there is some separation between love and sex. Brenda clearly loves Ramiro, and is "mated" to him, but she still considers me her "soul mate." Also, her relationship with Ramiro is in the nature of a hot and heavy affair, which Brenda has always treated as temporary.
In any event, despite her need to be sexually exclusive to Ramiro right now, Brenda has proven her loyalty and commitment to me. She always tells me that if I ever want her to end things with Ramiro, she will honor my wish.
As of now, however, I am happy to allow Brenda to enjoy her affair with Ramiro.
radicalguy said:
SO would I be right in concluding that She loves Ramiro and loves to have sex with him, while she only want you to be her companion or more as a non-sexual friend. And will she end her relationship with Ramiro if you say so "Without asking any questions and without any pain"? I know I am asking some questions and I hope that you take them as the questions of a curious person, but doesn't she removes your hand whenever you try to be sexual with her? Why does that happen? If she is as loyal and as committed to you as you say, then why doesn't she treats your advances with love and compassion and why as if she is cheating on her Lover?
Raks said:
Brenda feels pain anytime one of her affairs comes to an end, and usually has sort of a "mourning period" before she feels sexual.
As of now, Brenda's sexual feelings and desires have, for lack of a better word, "shifted" to Ramiro. Her sexuality is immersed with him. And as I said before, it is an all or none proposition for her. During her affairs, she is sexually focused on her lover only.
Marriage is a combination of things: Love, trust, friendship, companionship, devotion, romance, an intermingling of souls-- and sexual desire and activities. When Brenda has an affair, she has no problem feeling love for two men (me and her lover) simultaniously, she just isn't wired to be sexually divided. Thus, during her affair, the sex part of our marriage abates, but we always have the other elements. She gets caught up in a whirlwind of love and sexuality with her lover, and truly loves to share it all with me.
Despite the fact that the sex part of our marriage is on hold, it is not a "denial" thing. Long ago, it was understood that Brenda is, in a sexual sense, a one-man woman. Anytime she has wanted to begin an affair (except the first one, many years ago), she always discussed it with me. When I give my blessings, I simply take a "back seat" to the other guy. I don't hound her for sex and have her push me away--except maybe in a subtle way, on occasion, when hand has sort of wandered to her privates, she would sort of move in a way to avert contact, without actually making a "denial" thing over it. The hold we put on marital sexual contact is my gift to her, not something she "takes away" from me.
When the affair is over, and Brenda has her typical "mourning" period, her sexual desire shifts back to me--and in a big way! We become like newlyweds again, having sex every day and more. Then, after about 6 months, Brenda starts getting "the itch." She meets someone, tells me about it, I give my blessings, and the cycle repeats itself.
I have never demanded that Brenda end an affair, preferring instead that it run its course. I did, however, come close to doing that with David, awhile back, when he wanted to take Brenda away from me. As it turned out, I didn't need to make such a demand, as Brenda ended things with David on her own. That whole situation was described earlier in this thread:
http://www.cuckolds.com/forums/gene...-exclusive-bf-awhile-then-back-me-real-4.html
Brenda was very much in love with David, sexually and otherwise, but when he posed a threat to her marriage, she cut him out without a second thought. If I ever had the slightest doubts about Brenda's love and devotion for me before, the incident with David put them to rest forever.
Anyway, feel free to ask me anything. But Brenda is a complicated woman, as is our marriage, so somethings are beyond explanation.
Rick
radicalguy said:
I have read your whole narration. And thank you for responding in the way you are. Someone else in your place might have told me to fuck off. What I was trying to say is that if she really loves you, do you need to explicitly say that her affair has run its course and now it must end. Why can't she sense that your sexual desire, or your hands on her body as a sign that you really need her and put an end to her affair, or say take a pause in her affair to cool you down first. What she does actually surprises me, because you say its your gift to her.
radicalguy said:
If it is a gift, obviously the person who has given the gift cannot ask the gift back, but what I feel is yes, she should release you from your self imprisonment whenever you desire her, particularly if none of you knows when the affair may end and it might be your turn.
Regards
Raks said:
Brenda frequently asks how I am doing, and if we need to return to a conventional marriage. She doesn't callously allow me to suffer or hold me to any type of imprisonment. We don't have any date-certain for the end of Brenda's affair, but we always know it is not a permanent state of affairs--never has been.
Patience is something I always exercise. I don't ever proclaim that "things must end" with any lover, nor does she wait for me to do so.
My reward is two-fold. First, I do get a cuckold-type thrill at knowing that my wife is being sexually ravished and possessed by another man. I don't overtly watch them, or openly hang by the bedroom door listening (I do so covertly), but when I know (and sometimes hear) Brenda is being ravished by her lover, currently Ramiro, I get hard as a rock and enjoy intense orgasms playing the picture of them together in my mind.
Second, when she eventually returns to me sexually, our lovemeking is hot beyond belief! Sometimes, Brenda will whisper in my ear how she wants me to fuck her in some position "the way Wendell (or someone else) used to."
I remember once that Brenda used an analogy comparing her sexuality to a radio dial. A man can only occupy one frequency on the radio dial, and she can only be tuned to one man sexually at a time. So, when she started her affair with Ramiro, the dial was turned to his frequency, and away from mine. If I ask, she will turn that dial to me, but that would mean ending her connection with Ramiro in the middle of a "song." I would rather allow the song to finish, and then for Brenda to turn the dial back to me in natural course. I once asked her if she could simply move the dial back and forth, and she smiled and said, "I hate channel surfing."
Last night, Ramiro came over, but couldn't spend the night. I went to sleep in the downstairs bedroom as Brenda and Ramiro were lovemaking in tbe Master. Around 2:00 A.M., when Ramiro left, Brenda climbed in bed with me and snuggled me close. I never feel a lack of love from Brenda, even when she is has the aroma of another about her. I must admit, though, I have a hard time sleeping when my wife is sleeping against me, her breasts pushed against my body, and I know that her pussy is filled with Ramiro's semen. But then again, it is never mundane or boring!
If possible please update us on what is happening between Ramiro, your wife and you. How is she feeling this time as compared to her time with Duane, David or Wendell? And do you sense any change in her behavior? Or Ramiro's for that matter?
I must say that you indeed have given Brenda a great gift, but do you get something special in return?
I must say that you indeed have given Brenda a great gift, but do you get something special in return?
I'd be fascinated to hear more as well. I'm a member of two sites - this and a British one - and though this thread may not have the quickie 'punch-in-the-pants' erotic appeal of the more obvious and pictorially-illustrated variants of the cuckold lifestyle, in every other way it is just a mile above any other I've read on either site.
I echo others about RadicalGuy's writing style. You're much much better than you give yourself credit for. One reason for that is the emotional honesty with which you describe what has happened. I recognise Brenda, and the nature of your relationship, because it so closely mirrors my own marriage. This is real - recognisable - life, not talk of 'bulls' and 'sluts' and 'breeding' and what-have-you. This is people recognising that sex is meant to have an emotional depth and in the end cannot avoid becoming 'stale and unprofitable' when it does not.
What RadicalGuy actually describes covers a vast number of people round the planet - far beyond the world of cuckoldry as a choice - except that for most of the rest it goes 'Marry, cheat, divorce, pay a bunch of money to lawyers, marry again, keep fingers crossed... ad infinitum'.
Cuckoldry is a far from simple choice - but then lifelong monogamous marriage is an imperfect thing, a compromise. Though there are exceptions, by and large men and women are wired differently sexually. RadicalGuy and Brenda have found their way to keep the emotional bond - that crucial thing 'companionship' - intact. I suspect many long-stayer marriages bumble along with cuckoldry (or its male equivalent) as the unspoken 'elephant in the room'. 'Don't ask; don't tell'.
They've been more honest. And all the things he says about what Brenda can - and cannot - do, and what she can - and cannot - stand him doing on his part, ring 100% true of the relationship I had with my wife.
I should say, that marriage did end after 13 years - but for many reasons, of which active cuckoldry was only one small component. But the idea that she could have had sex with any of the men she was involved with - and 'involved' is exactly the right word - with me present in the room would have been unthinkable to her. As would most of the 'customs' so beloved of the 'bulls and hotwives' scene. She would have run a mile, seeing it as utterly alien to her nature.
I don't 'diss' those - male or female - who make a mutal and totally open game of their sexual pleasures... but I suspect they are a very small minority of the people who live in marital or marriage-like relationships. I simply don't think most women can handle that kind of lifestyle emotionally. Sex is just too personal for them to treat it in that fashion. Most are much more like Brenda.
Thank you for the thread, RadicalGuy. It digs deep into the truth of a real relationship, not just some casual wank-fodder. I salute you for the discipline you've brought to your side of the relationship. So many on here seem to think you can make a set of chess rules to govern 'successful cuckoldry'. 'Only if I'm told every graphic detail', 'Only if I'm present', 'Only if I get creampies', 'Only if I control you!'...
Life ain't like that for most people. And IMHO - if people's emotional life is not to 'wither on the vine' - nor should it be!
I echo others about RadicalGuy's writing style. You're much much better than you give yourself credit for. One reason for that is the emotional honesty with which you describe what has happened. I recognise Brenda, and the nature of your relationship, because it so closely mirrors my own marriage. This is real - recognisable - life, not talk of 'bulls' and 'sluts' and 'breeding' and what-have-you. This is people recognising that sex is meant to have an emotional depth and in the end cannot avoid becoming 'stale and unprofitable' when it does not.
What RadicalGuy actually describes covers a vast number of people round the planet - far beyond the world of cuckoldry as a choice - except that for most of the rest it goes 'Marry, cheat, divorce, pay a bunch of money to lawyers, marry again, keep fingers crossed... ad infinitum'.
Cuckoldry is a far from simple choice - but then lifelong monogamous marriage is an imperfect thing, a compromise. Though there are exceptions, by and large men and women are wired differently sexually. RadicalGuy and Brenda have found their way to keep the emotional bond - that crucial thing 'companionship' - intact. I suspect many long-stayer marriages bumble along with cuckoldry (or its male equivalent) as the unspoken 'elephant in the room'. 'Don't ask; don't tell'.
They've been more honest. And all the things he says about what Brenda can - and cannot - do, and what she can - and cannot - stand him doing on his part, ring 100% true of the relationship I had with my wife.
I should say, that marriage did end after 13 years - but for many reasons, of which active cuckoldry was only one small component. But the idea that she could have had sex with any of the men she was involved with - and 'involved' is exactly the right word - with me present in the room would have been unthinkable to her. As would most of the 'customs' so beloved of the 'bulls and hotwives' scene. She would have run a mile, seeing it as utterly alien to her nature.
I don't 'diss' those - male or female - who make a mutal and totally open game of their sexual pleasures... but I suspect they are a very small minority of the people who live in marital or marriage-like relationships. I simply don't think most women can handle that kind of lifestyle emotionally. Sex is just too personal for them to treat it in that fashion. Most are much more like Brenda.
Thank you for the thread, RadicalGuy. It digs deep into the truth of a real relationship, not just some casual wank-fodder. I salute you for the discipline you've brought to your side of the relationship. So many on here seem to think you can make a set of chess rules to govern 'successful cuckoldry'. 'Only if I'm told every graphic detail', 'Only if I'm present', 'Only if I get creampies', 'Only if I control you!'...
Life ain't like that for most people. And IMHO - if people's emotional life is not to 'wither on the vine' - nor should it be!
Raks said:
Actually, it's been a bit over six month since Brenda started her sexual relationship with Ramiro, and since Brenda have been sexually intimate-- and still, there doesn't seem to be an end in sight.
Ramiro has been spending about every other weekend at our house, and sleeping with Brenda in our master bedroom, and sometimes one or two nights during the week. When he is staying over, I have been sleeping in the downstairs study/spare bedroom. Although I've never been in the bedroom while Ramiro and Brenda make love, they have been feeling much more comfortable about acting like a "couple" while I'm around, kissing and making out, etc. They also seem to be more uninhibited about making "sounds of love" when behind closed doors.
The three of us went to a beach resort a couple of weekends ago, and stayed in a beachfront suite with 2 bedrooms. That was quite an erotic experience for me, as I could hear Brenda and Ramiro clearly through the hotel's paper-thin walls, unlike being on a different floor when at home.
One evening was particularly exciting for me. The three of us were on the sofa at the hotel watching a movie, with Brenda sitting between us. Brenda was holding my hand, with Ramiro's arm around her fonding her breast. Ramiro started kissing Brenda's neck and ear, which always drives her crazy. Then, with her feet on my lap, and during a hot love scene in the movie, Brenda turned around and curled up against Ramiro, kissing him passionately. I tried not to stare, but out of the corner of my eye I saw Brenda squeezing Ramiro's cock through his pants while kissing him.
I was sitting there with a rock-hard cock as Brenda stood up, kissed me on the lips, and led Ramiro to their bedroom. Brenda had earlier told her that she loves it when Ramiro speaks Spanish to her while they make love. And this time, through the walls, I could hear him saying something in Spanish, and Brenda grunting in response, as he was obviously thrusting inside her.
Although Ramiro and Brenda are still deeply and passionately in love, I have not felt neglected in an emotional sense. Whenever Ramiro isn't around, (and I am in town), Brenda and I always sleep and cuddle together. She loves to kiss me, and shares everything with me. It's almost like Brenda feels like her relationship with Ramiro is *ours*, not just her's. Even when I don't ask, Brenda seems to enjoy sharing intimate details of their sexual and non-sexual times together.
Yes, I miss making love with Brenda, but I get an indescribable thrill and sense of satisfaction seeing Brenda feeling so fulfilled by Ramiro. Also, Ramiro doesn't feel so possessive as before, at least as far as I am concerned. Brenda loves to kiss and hug me in Ramiro's presence, almost as if she wants to remind him that I am still her Number One. Indeed, Ramiro and I often talk to each other alone, especially when Brenda is still asleep in the morning, as Ramiro and I both happen to be early risers.
So far, Brenda's relationship with Ramiro is turning out to be the most moving and exhilarating of all the outside sexual relationships she has had. I hope that, when it ultimately ends, it will not end on a negative note. I really like Ramiro on many levels, and would hate to see the guy hurt.
Brian
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