Denial discussion

[SoonToBe]

Well, it's late but I finally have some spare time to pen some thoughts.

Yes Harry, Sue still has her little SUV and I'm sure somewhere there are still some stains from her last dalliances in it. I'm sure that is also what's fueling her little fantasy about Tony. I liked all the car analogies too - including both views of Sue and Robert. As I said, she was a bit emotional but later said that she wasn't quite ready to stop seeing him yet. I asked her what she meant and finally she came out and pretty much said that she loves having sex with him. She said that with him falling (or hoping to) for his new lady, that she's felt it easy to shut off whatever she felt for him emotionally. But to Will's point - she's now said that she likes fucking him too much to give it up. I asked her what she was going to do and she just said that she told him that she still wanted to see him even if it wasn't something as regular as they'd had - and she asked me if I was okay with it. I asked her for how long she'd make herself available to him - and wasn't ready for, but also wasn't totally surprised when she answered "whenever". It was more how she said it that made me realize that he may become her first true fuck-buddy if she and he can maintain a workable friendship.

I told her that it made me totally horny to hear her telling me this - that I loved she'd become so sexual again. She giggled at me at one point and said in a very sexy voice "you really like that it's not just yours" as she patted her pussy and teased me along.

I could see the glow on her as she talked briefly about Roberts prowess - she said that while she and I still fit together perfectly - she said that I should know that he can make her feel very much as good as I do. She looked at me as she said that. I told her it was the first time she'd said that to me where I believed her and she smiled and asked me if that was what I wanted to hear. She glanced down and saw my cock was rigidly hard in my hand and smiled as she turned back to look at me. "He's like the first guy baby - other than you - the first guy that just does it to me". It felt like my eyes were bulging out at her. She said 'sorry' but again said "you wanted to know, now you do". At another point she said that it's part of why she wants me to use condoms with her too - that in her head, it make her be his and she says that it makes it all much more intense knowing that he's doing to her what I used to. She seemed almost teary at one point and I told her it was okay - that I wanted her to tell me it and that I wanted to know what she's thinking. She kissed me as I stroked and was closer and closer and she continued to tease me. She reminded me she was going to spend next Tuesday in bed with him and how she planned to "fuck him all day long" - it wasn't just what she said, it was how she said it as almost a whisper in my ear as I felt her leaning up against my arm and shoulder. I was so close by then that when she said that I only had another 5 weeks to wait to have her bare - I knew I was going to burst soon. She kissed my ear and teased me and said "you're going to love feeling me again baby" and that was it, hearing her whisper that in her sexy voice just made me burst. She kept up the teasing as she played with my war semen - she even commented on how horny I must have been from how much I'd cum.

We kissed and snowballed with several finger-fuls - after dueling tongues with her yet one more time she looked at me and said she thought it was incredibly erotic that I wanted to do this with her and she looked at me and said "it must really turn you on" and I nodded yes in return - she smiled broadly in response. We kind of snuggled up and as I found something on TV to watch she hugged me and said that she'd never do anything to hurt me and that I'd always come first. I giggled back and said "more like second, but I know what you meant...." and we both laughed.

We watched some sitcom on Tivo and when it was over it was just after 11pm and I thought it was going to be lights-out or me-out (of the bedroom). But instead she kissed me and I realized it wasn't just a good night peck on the cheek. She giggled and asked me if I wanted to 'go again' and she said she would like to watch me again. She kissed me as she reached under the covers and as she stroked me she said "I am going to do it with Tony one day you know, right?".

I was hard almost immediately but I had the presence of mind to ask her "what do you man" and that's when she said that they've kidded around for so many years now and worked together on so many projects, she giggled and said "I almost feel like I owe it to him". I croaked out a question asking her if it was a 'done deal'. She smiled and giggled and said "if the opportunity comes up....". And she proceeded to tease me and tell me how she thought it'd be fun - "maybe after we all go out one night next month" - at first I thought she meant me with her but then realized that she was talking about after-work holiday gatherings or after the company holiday party (no spouses invited!).

She reminded me of the first holiday party when we were dating and how we went out to someone's van to make out at one point (and we thought maybe do more) only to find 2 or 3 other "work couples" also in the van in various states of involvement! She giggled and reminded me how much fun it was when we went to her car (bigger back seat) and we steamed up the windows ourselves! It was when she said that it "might be fun to have a roll in the backseat again - that I really got into it. I asked her if she was going to go back into the party afterwards like we did. She said it just to get to me but she said "yeah - remember you and I danced afterwards ..." she paused for a second and then said "it'll be fun to do that with Tony" and then she giggled and said "remember I ran off to the bathroom afterwards....". That did it for me - I remembered it from so long ago - she came back, we were pretty ***** and she told me she had to clean up.

In talking since then, she said she is taking next Tuesday off but said pretty openly that if she could, she'd run over his place anytime after that if he asked her to. She didn't say it but I know from the look she was saying "this is what you wanted".

I know - not really much new in here other than her increasing openness about things and her apparent encouragement of fulfilling my desires.

 

[Harry2614]

Ya gotta remember, this is the guy she was gonna, "fall in love with," so ya, she's not 'letting go' so easy now. Thing is Robert must know that if he don't 'let Sue go,' and concentrate on his girlfriend, she's going to find out about Sue, and then he will really have trouble!
Robert could easily loose his girlfriend and his goal for a mother for his children too.

So yes, it's important that Sue let's him go, so he can 'go on with his life.'

Cheers, Harry

 

[SoonToBe]

Harry - it's actually a bit funny, she's using my admissions about wanting to be the beta-male, or as she puts it "not my main guy" in her openness about Robert. I think it's a big step for her to be able to say that she is able to feel things with Robert that she'd only felt with me before. I know for her to say that, that it means she's felt something herself and isn't just saying it to tease me. I haven't pushed her further on it but her admission about wanting to still have him in the future speaks volumes.

I doubt it will surprise anyone here if I say that I am in awe of feeling like this right now. Whether she's doing it intentionally or whether it is merely just happening - this route she's taking is piquing my cuckold desires. I have wanted to feel this for a long time - that she wants her own sexuality her own way and that I am seeing it happen (and not feeling it). I am going to admit that it turned me on incredibly to hear her say that she is able to feel and cum as she does with Robert and that in some (many?) ways he satisfies her more than me. In my head - I admit that my brain is going crazy with the thought that perhaps just having his cum in her is somehow amplifying what she's feeling. Every time I see the box of condoms in the night-stand I get aroused knowing what I/we/she is doing.

I'm home early this afternoon to get some work done around the yard - she already teased me this morning that she hopes I'm ready for her tonight. Our daughter conveniently has dinner plans and won't be home till later. We're letting her take the car more and more when we can so she's feeling her independence a bit more - and it makes it easier for Sue and I to find time.

Harry - I know this isn't the road you'd choose to travel. But this whole denial thing is just incredibly arousing for me. I know that some here can't understand how this seems to turn me on - but it does. I know that it's going to be 5 more weeks before we will take a break from using condoms - and I can't fully explain how fulfilled it makes me feel knowing that we have some how serendipitously arrived at this sort of arrangement that works so well for me in terms of satisfying my apparent needs.

Does this make Sue a "domme"? Does it make me a "sub"? I don't know about those labels - I know when she and I have sex that it is as physical and as loving and as deep/meaningful as it always has been. That her orgasms are just as draining and satisfying as they've always been - and surprisingly mine too. Yes - she's admitted as have I that knowing I won't cum inside her, in some ways seems to heighten the arousal we both feel. I know that when I am above her and thrusting into her passionately - that the thoughts of my not truly feeling her silkiness against my cock - and that knowing when I cum that it won't truly be in her - that it seems to spur me on to fuck her harder/deeper and more fully. She's admitted that when she lets her brain think and know that she won't feel that rush of warmth spread through her and that she won't feel the gentle pulsations against the back of her pussy - that despite not feeling it, that she says it's 1000 times more intense mentally for her.

In some ways I want to see if she will really do it with Tony or if she's just talking it up. It's not like I could really tell her not to do it if she has her mind made up - and I admit that now that she's been talking about it for a while now, that I suppose of anyone she works with who I could maybe accept her getting naked with and fucking, I guess it'd be him - I mean he's certainly further close to the head of the line than a lot of other guys I've met at her work over the years. So yeah, I do want to see what she'll do - but I will also admit that I want to feel what it's like to know that 2 other guys have fucked her and cum in her while I am still relegated to using condoms. It'll probably be no big deal, but at the same time, I do want to see how it feels to know she's taken a next step on her own again too.

Harry - about your concern about Robert - I am quite sure that Sue knows her place. She's continued to say that she wants the best for him and that he seems happy so I'm sure she's cautious about upsetting the apple cart. Given how things began with Sue, if his new lady friend hasn't had children before, she may be still getting used to his size - so it wouldn't surprise me if that's not something she's thinking. Until his new lady and let him really go at her, that Sue is happy to provide a place for him to do so..... It seems kind of weird or callous in some ways to be talking about Sue like that - but it isn't far from the truth at this point, that she really is just seeing him to have sex with him. Kinda fun to think of her that way. Continues to this day, 30+ years later that she shares/ed her pussy now/again.



Oh well, I've probably rambled on a bit too much.

 

[Will2112001]

Steve How long have I been telling You Your a Sub???? Well Steve Let Me Say This Again. "Steve" "Your a Sub"!!!! Its Your nature. Nothing wrong with it. Its just who you are. The only one who has a problem with it, Is anyone who judges You. And They Are the One's With The Problem.
Why are they even reading this Board in the First Place?????

 

[peakmb]

Will,
This board would be less colourful without you. Who else could throw three unrelated opinions together and present them as an undeniable fact. And one which, if you disagree, you should not even be here saying it!

Steve has just said he doesn't know if he is truly a sub. In most parts of his life he clearly is not. In one part, for a time, he seems to be enjoying flirting with being one. Hardly an undeniable truth. It is what it is. I don't think lables can cover the complexity or the beauty of his relationship with Sue. My opinion.

As for Sue, it seems that while she can still smell the racing engine oil, she isn't ready to give up the Ferrari just yet. One last analogy. On track days, the highest % of accidents happen on that last lap. One last chance to give it the beans. Be careful out there Sue.

 

[Harry2614]

Good response, Peak!! Certainly hard to disagree with.

And Yes, Sue must be very careful to not mess with Robert's future here. Betrayed friends become enemies.

Cheers, Harry

 

[cscguy]

Steve How long have I been telling You Your a Sub???? Well Steve Let Me Say This Again. "Steve" "Your a Sub"!!!! Its Your nature. Nothing wrong with it. Its just who you are. The only one who has a problem with it, Is anyone who judges You. And They Are the One's With The Problem.
Why are they even reading this Board in the First Place?????

STB- First let me say that it's good to again see some longer more intense postings as I was beginning to fear that this game my be (please--let this be the last %#!$@?% car analogy) "running out of gas".

You and Sue are again at another crossroads.


It definitely looks like Sue’s time with Robert is drawing to a close which is good for several reasons. The first is that Robert, at his age and with the situation that he currently finds himself in, needs to carry on with his own life, especially now with his new relationship and ongoing desire of starting a family. And in order for him to be able to focus on this Sue needs to step back and give him the time and space to “get on with it”. Second, for as good as Robert has been for Sue in terms of exploring new ground and, as you describe, “helping to bring her out of her shell” so to speak, she too IMO is at the stage where she needs to move on and (putting her latest discoveries/revelations/experience to use) hopefully achieve the next level in your joint journey. Third, her relationship with Robert is, for all intents, DEAD, and needs to be put to rest. No point in continuing to beat a dead horse, (albeit in this case a long, thick, well- endowed horse, but nonetheless, a horse) that’s brought you to the end of this portion of your travel.

Both of you seem pleased with where the situation currently sits and it makes sense that the next item on the agenda is where to take it from here and how to get there.

The opportunity with Tony is, IMO, appealing and I can appreciate how intense the situation, with having two men enjoying her "Bare" while you continue to adhere to your new condom-only norm, will be for you. But while this situation will certainly push the envelope (if indeed it does materialize) it is at best a very short-term Band-Aid, which will not serve to take you/Sue/your journey to the next level.

Next I agree 100% with Will. Steve you're a SUB!! Good for you!!! Even if you're the last person on this thread to accept it as fact.
I’m somewhat surprised that after all of this time since beginning your posting, that this issue continues to handcuff you at times. I’m certainly no expert on any of this but, simply put, isn't this the main idea behind this game?? That you are able to “switch” or at least alter your primary role/function in your relationship to be that of a more SUB (Beta) role especially in a sexual context??

The issue that I currently find somewhat baffling though is (and the question is certainly being posed as constructive criticism) why do you/Sue not have a longer term plan set up, taking you to at least the next step (or perhaps even beyond that)? If you have than my apologies, but then why do you not outline it here. I understand your current argument that you want the situation to be Sue-driven, but whats the problem,from your perspective, with sitting down with her (now that you both are experienced enough to know, or at least have a good idea of what you want to get out of this going forward) and discussing individual/mutual goals together. As I see it this would simplify/clarify/give direction/ to the situation, especially during times like these where you find yourself in these "cross-road" situations.

 

[dana007]

CSCGUY

well said i do agree with what you have said.

STB keep us posted.

 

[Will2112001]

Will,
This board would be less colourful without you. Who else could throw three unrelated opinions together and present them as an undeniable fact. And one which, if you disagree, you should not even be here saying it!

Steve has just said he doesn't know if he is truly a sub. In most parts of his life he clearly is not. In one part, for a time, he seems to be enjoying flirting with being one. Hardly an undeniable truth. It is what it is. I don't think lables can cover the complexity or the beauty of his relationship with Sue. My opinion.

As for Sue, it seems that while she can still smell the racing engine oil, she isn't ready to give up the Ferrari just yet. One last analogy. On track days, the highest % of accidents happen on that last lap. One last chance to give it the beans. Be careful out there Sue.

Maybe You Feel I'm Wrong??? Steve You could be one of the Strongest Dom Bull's on this Board. Like Peak seems to feel??? I maybe looking at this all wrong.

 

[sptbj2]

Steve, I don't like labels. "Domme" and "sub" are good fantasy labels, but don't need to be identifiers. I enjoy Will's point of view because he often sees things that I see - but from the Bull's point of view instead of the cuck's (submissive's.) I read and reread all of your November posts. Like you, I am not submissive in most areas of my life, but I do enjoy being submissive to my wife's sexual desires. Your recent discussions were very exciting for me as you shared some of your submissive feelings and realizations.

Sue appreciates your willingness to give up control (to her) in your sexual relationship - to allow her to choose how she expresses her sexuality and who she decides to share her body with. This freedom is exhilarating to her. She is admitting this to herself and becoming more comfortable in this role - the role you had the courage to cast her in. Congratulations and enjoy!

 

[Will2112001]

Steve, I don't like labels. "Domme" and "sub" are good fantasy labels, but don't need to be identifiers. I enjoy Will's point of view because he often sees things that I see - but from the Bull's point of view instead of the cuck's (submissive's.) I read and reread all of your November posts. Like you, I am not submissive in most areas of my life, but I do enjoy being submissive to my wife's sexual desires. Your recent discussions were very exciting for me as you shared some of your submissive feelings and realizations.

Sue appreciates your willingness to give up control (to her) in your sexual relationship - to allow her to choose how she expresses her sexuality and who she decides to share her body with. This freedom is exhilarating to her. She is admitting this to herself and becoming more comfortable in this role - the role you had the courage to cast her in. Congratulations and enjoy!

I'm Not fond of the term Bull either. But it seems to one that everyone seems to understand. You know a lot of Us are one way in "The Real World".
We have to be. Or We want to be. But when it come to sex we can let go. And be Who or what We dream to be. Want to Be. Or deep down Are. Some of us have been conditioned that to be this person is wrong. But some times the need is so great for that person to get out.

I don't know maybe it me. but I have noticed that Dom's (Sorry). have less problems with someone saying they are or maybe a Sub. Than other Cuckolds. Anybody else notice that?.

 

[Will2112001]

Steve, I don't like labels. "Domme" and "sub" are good fantasy labels, but don't need to be identifiers. I enjoy Will's point of view because he often sees things that I see - but from the Bull's point of view instead of the cuck's (submissive's.) I read and reread all of your November posts. Like you, I am not submissive in most areas of my life, but I do enjoy being submissive to my wife's sexual desires. Your recent discussions were very exciting for me as you shared some of your submissive feelings and realizations.

Sue appreciates your willingness to give up control (to her) in your sexual relationship - to allow her to choose how she expresses her sexuality and who she decides to share her body with. This freedom is exhilarating to her. She is admitting this to herself and becoming more comfortable in this role - the role you had the courage to cast her in. Congratulations and enjoy!

I'm Not fond of the term Bull either. But it seems to one that everyone seems to understand. You know a lot of Us are one way in "The Real World".
We have to be. Or We want to be. But when it come to sex we can let go. And be Who or what We dream to be. Want to Be. Or deep down Are. Some of us have been conditioned that to be this person is wrong. But some times the need is so great for that person to get out.

I don't know maybe it me. but I have noticed that Dom's (Sorry). have less problems with someone saying they are or maybe a Sub. Than other Cuckolds. Anybody else notice that?.

 

[peakmb]

Shakespeare needed after a double dose ..

Will no one rid me of this turbulent Will?
&
Romeo, Romeo , where for art thou Romeo?

 

[SoonToBe]

I finally have some free time - I'd started to post an update last night but the time got away from me and Sue was in a playful mood so we had some fun before bed.

But what I wanted to post about was the coincidence of CSCs post and some of what Sue and I talked about over the weekend about what we would want for the future. She again told me how she thought this Tuesday (tomorrow now) would probably be the last "scheduled" time she'll have with Robert. She said that between Thanksgiving and Christmas and with Robert's continued desire to spend time with his new lady - that she was going to miss her standing-Tuesday's. She asked me how I was going to feel if she continued to see Robert "when he called" or when he wanted to see her. I asked her how that's going to make her feel - that he'd be just calling her just to have sex with her. She giggled and said that's not much different than has been going on now with him for some time now. I asked her how Robert was doing with his new lady sex-wise and Sue said what she'd said before, that she was "getting used to" his size and that they were still using condoms but that he hoped that between Christmas and New Years that she would relent. I asked her how she's going to feel then and she giggled and said she'll be jealous that his new lady will be taking what had been hers! She was joking but there was some truth to it too.

It was the discussion that followed that which was much more intriguing to me.

She again seemed to want reassurances from me that I liked what we were doing. At several points she was quite clear about what she wanted to hear from me including my admission that I am still very aroused by us using condoms together. I asked her how she felt about it and she said some things that I knew were coming but may not have been totally ready to hear. She told me that she was still very turned on by what we were doing - for her, she says that seeing me pull out of her and seeing the tip of the condom full of my cum makes her incredibly horny - and she made it clear that my arousal has become hers now too. I know she was partly kidding but also partly serious when she said quite clearly that it is changing for her - that knowing it turns me on is still a part of her arousal - but she wanted me to understand that she is beginning to feel and accept that she is enjoying denying me and she said that if we continued, that she wasn't sure how things were going to be in the future.

That struck me. I knew we've been playing with this and it's been very satisfying for us both - and I knew that over time she was going to like it for herself more than knowing that it's something I am also turned on by. She said what she's said all the time - that if I ever truly needed to feel her and cum in her that I could and she wouldn't ever say no - and she promised me that on special-occasions (she mentioned Christmas and other holidays) that she would always want me bare and that our time away alone is meant for just that - for us to reconnect. But then she said what I had known was coming since the start of the conversation - she said that she wanted me to know that she no longer considered this something we were just trying out and that she very much liked how she felt in our relationship since we started using condoms. She said she hoped it didn't hurt me to hear it but that she feels that this change in our sexual relationship has been good for us - and with my admission of wanting to be the beta-male (not how she refers to it) - that she feels this is something that works for us and reinforces the feelings and desires I've brought out in her.

When we talked about the future - she was clear that if there was a long gap (weeks? months? we didn't specify) before she found her next "boyfriend" (as she calls him) that she would want me to probably not use condoms with her as much as she admitted again that she would miss the feeling of having her lovers semen in her.

All of this led to what CSC had posted/asked - why we don't more clearly plan or think out the future.

So - we did. I asked her what kind of lover she was looking for. She was quiet for a moment and then asked that I not respond badly to what she was about to say - when I agreed - she pretty readily said that she would like to find someone "more like Don was". I told her that I'd suspected that was what she was thinking and I asked her what specifically she was looking for. She was honest - she said that she liked how he made her feel - how he wanted her and - she said it - how he would push her limits. I told her that I thought she would probably be better able to handle him now vs. back then and she giggled and added "yes, and it'll also be easier for me to go along too!". And she proceeded to tell me that she wanted a lover who would be more demanding of her sexually - she looked at me and said that while she wouldn't ever do it, she loved the thought of her lover only wanting her sexually to be with him - she said it had this romantic quality to it that she thought she would warm up to now instead of feeling like it was such a monstrous change for her just a few years ago. She teased me and said "besides, you said you enjoyed seeing those changes and conflicts in me" and I admitted to her that it was exciting to see her having to come face to face with her lovers sexual desires and how she'd deal with them.

We talked about how we might find such a person - I told her about some online sites - like AFF and Craigs-List as well as other sites (I didn't name them) that offered personals or other ways to attract a specific type of person. She thought that was all fine but she immediately added that we couldn't really do any of that until next September when hopefully we'll have an empty house with our daughter off to colllege. And she admitted that at that point, that perhaps we could both work together on a more formal type of search. I asked her what she was thinking about for the next 9-10 months and she giggled and said "I was serious about Tony!".

After we'd had sex together on Saturday and I'd pulled out of her she asked me candidly to tell her again how I felt making love to her using a condom. I knew she wanted to hear me again so I told her. I said that seeing the box of condoms in the nightstand was a continual reminder of what we were doing and that it turned me on. I told her how crazy it felt to me - but at the same time - how strangely satsifying it was as the same time - to accept the symbolism that I felt they had. I told her that just the box in the nightstand made me horny because it represented her and my desire to limit what I would experience with her. She asked me to tell her more and I again explained that for whatever reason - the knowledge that I was foregoing the most initimate sexual experience with her - and that I wanted her to have it with someone else - for some reason almost makes me ***** with desire. I told her that just thinking that way makes me hard - and I told her that knowing it turned her on really made it all the more satisfying. She smiled and said again that I should blame myself for this if I need to because I shared my arousal with her and that over time, she herself has become enamored with it.

Last night as we got ready to have sex she handed me a condom and as I knelt between her legs she spread them and talked to me. As I undid the package she told me "it's been a while now since you've cum in me baby". Hearing her say that only made my cock even harder. As I pulled the condom into place and moved towards her she said that she still loves making love with me and that she loves that I can still make her cum - but just as I pushed into her she said "maybe its good - I know you're really going to appreciate Christmas week". She moaned and groaned as I entered her and said "my god - this really does turn you on - you feel huge!". I fucked her until she screamed several times in orgasm - each time I could feel the dulled sensations of her pussy clamping down on my cock through the condom. I looked at her and told her so - I told her that it turned me on that I couldn't feel as much with her as her lover does. She looked up at me through glazed eyes and said that it turned her on the same to know that she wasn't feeling me directly but that she could feel how big-and-hard I felt. I couldn't find the words or the focus to tell her more as I felt my own climax approaching. But the most intense feelings came over me as I felt myself approaching and all I could think was that she won't truly feel me no matter how hard or deeply I cum.

So - we are now actively moving towards this becoming our norm for now. As if that's not been obvious all along.

Sorry if I"m rambling here but I'm feeling constrained fro time as it's getting late in the day and I need to finish stuff for work off before Sue gets home tonight. She said she wanted to talk a bit more about tomorrow - she sounded quite up about it but at the same time, I can tell that she's not content knowing it maybe one of their last times.

 

[SoonToBe]

I finally have some free time - I'd started to post an update last night but the time got away from me and Sue was in a playful mood so we had some fun before bed.

But what I wanted to post about was the coincidence of CSCs post and some of what Sue and I talked about over the weekend about what we would want for the future. She again told me how she thought this Tuesday (tomorrow now) would probably be the last "scheduled" time she'll have with Robert. She said that between Thanksgiving and Christmas and with Robert's continued desire to spend time with his new lady - that she was going to miss her standing-Tuesday's. She asked me how I was going to feel if she continued to see Robert "when he called" or when he wanted to see her. I asked her how that's going to make her feel - that he'd be just calling her just to have sex with her. She giggled and said that's not much different than has been going on now with him for some time now. I asked her how Robert was doing with his new lady sex-wise and Sue said what she'd said before, that she was "getting used to" his size and that they were still using condoms but that he hoped that between Christmas and New Years that she would relent. I asked her how she's going to feel then and she giggled and said she'll be jealous that his new lady will be taking what had been hers! She was joking but there was some truth to it too.

It was the discussion that followed that which was much more intriguing to me.

She again seemed to want reassurances from me that I liked what we were doing. At several points she was quite clear about what she wanted to hear from me including my admission that I am still very aroused by us using condoms together. I asked her how she felt about it and she said some things that I knew were coming but may not have been totally ready to hear. She told me that she was still very turned on by what we were doing - for her, she says that seeing me pull out of her and seeing the tip of the condom full of my cum makes her incredibly horny - and she made it clear that my arousal has become hers now too. I know she was partly kidding but also partly serious when she said quite clearly that it is changing for her - that knowing it turns me on is still a part of her arousal - but she wanted me to understand that she is beginning to feel and accept that she is enjoying denying me and she said that if we continued, that she wasn't sure how things were going to be in the future.

That struck me. I knew we've been playing with this and it's been very satisfying for us both - and I knew that over time she was going to like it for herself more than knowing that it's something I am also turned on by. She said what she's said all the time - that if I ever truly needed to feel her and cum in her that I could and she wouldn't ever say no - and she promised me that on special-occasions (she mentioned Christmas and other holidays) that she would always want me bare and that our time away alone is meant for just that - for us to reconnect. But then she said what I had known was coming since the start of the conversation - she said that she wanted me to know that she no longer considered this something we were just trying out and that she very much liked how she felt in our relationship since we started using condoms. She said she hoped it didn't hurt me to hear it but that she feels that this change in our sexual relationship has been good for us - and with my admission of wanting to be the beta-male (not how she refers to it) - that she feels this is something that works for us and reinforces the feelings and desires I've brought out in her.

When we talked about the future - she was clear that if there was a long gap (weeks? months? we didn't specify) before she found her next "boyfriend" (as she calls him) that she would want me to probably not use condoms with her as much as she admitted again that she would miss the feeling of having her lovers semen in her.

All of this led to what CSC had posted/asked - why we don't more clearly plan or think out the future.

So - we did. I asked her what kind of lover she was looking for. She was quiet for a moment and then asked that I not respond badly to what she was about to say - when I agreed - she pretty readily said that she would like to find someone "more like Don was". I told her that I'd suspected that was what she was thinking and I asked her what specifically she was looking for. She was honest - she said that she liked how he made her feel - how he wanted her and - she said it - how he would push her limits. I told her that I thought she would probably be better able to handle him now vs. back then and she giggled and added "yes, and it'll also be easier for me to go along too!". And she proceeded to tell me that she wanted a lover who would be more demanding of her sexually - she looked at me and said that while she wouldn't ever do it, she loved the thought of her lover only wanting her sexually to be with him - she said it had this romantic quality to it that she thought she would warm up to now instead of feeling like it was such a monstrous change for her just a few years ago. She teased me and said "besides, you said you enjoyed seeing those changes and conflicts in me" and I admitted to her that it was exciting to see her having to come face to face with her lovers sexual desires and how she'd deal with them.

We talked about how we might find such a person - I told her about some online sites - like AFF and Craigs-List as well as other sites (I didn't name them) that offered personals or other ways to attract a specific type of person. She thought that was all fine but she immediately added that we couldn't really do any of that until next September when hopefully we'll have an empty house with our daughter off to colllege. And she admitted that at that point, that perhaps we could both work together on a more formal type of search. I asked her what she was thinking about for the next 9-10 months and she giggled and said "I was serious about Tony!".

After we'd had sex together on Saturday and I'd pulled out of her she asked me candidly to tell her again how I felt making love to her using a condom. I knew she wanted to hear me again so I told her. I said that seeing the box of condoms in the nightstand was a continual reminder of what we were doing and that it turned me on. I told her how crazy it felt to me - but at the same time - how strangely satsifying it was as the same time - to accept the symbolism that I felt they had. I told her that just the box in the nightstand made me horny because it represented her and my desire to limit what I would experience with her. She asked me to tell her more and I again explained that for whatever reason - the knowledge that I was foregoing the most initimate sexual experience with her - and that I wanted her to have it with someone else - for some reason almost makes me ***** with desire. I told her that just thinking that way makes me hard - and I told her that knowing it turned her on really made it all the more satisfying. She smiled and said again that I should blame myself for this if I need to because I shared my arousal with her and that over time, she herself has become enamored with it.

Last night as we got ready to have sex she handed me a condom and as I knelt between her legs she spread them and talked to me. As I undid the package she told me "it's been a while now since you've cum in me baby". Hearing her say that only made my cock even harder. As I pulled the condom into place and moved towards her she said that she still loves making love with me and that she loves that I can still make her cum - but just as I pushed into her she said "maybe its good - I know you're really going to appreciate Christmas week". She moaned and groaned as I entered her and said "my god - this really does turn you on - you feel huge!". I fucked her until she screamed several times in orgasm - each time I could feel the dulled sensations of her pussy clamping down on my cock through the condom. I looked at her and told her so - I told her that it turned me on that I couldn't feel as much with her as her lover does. She looked up at me through glazed eyes and said that it turned her on the same to know that she wasn't feeling me directly but that she could feel how big-and-hard I felt. I couldn't find the words or the focus to tell her more as I felt my own climax approaching. But the most intense feelings came over me as I felt myself approaching and all I could think was that she won't truly feel me no matter how hard or deeply I cum.

So - we are now actively moving towards this becoming our norm for now. As if that's not been obvious all along.

Sorry if I"m rambling here but I'm feeling constrained fro time as it's getting late in the day and I need to finish stuff for work off before Sue gets home tonight. She said she wanted to talk a bit more about tomorrow - she sounded quite up about it but at the same time, I can tell that she's not content knowing it maybe one of their last times.

 

[Will2112001]

Shakespeare needed after a double dose ..

Will no one rid me of this turbulent Will?
&
Romeo, Romeo , where for art thou Romeo?

Shakespeare, Really??? I thought You where into Dead US Presidents

Wiccan's Have a saying. "What you send out in the World come's back to You Three Fold.

Just wondering??? You do know this is a open forum. For the open expression of thought. Some You may agree with. Some maybe Not. Just a thought. Try countering the ideas behind the thoughts. You don't agree with. Instead Of the person expressing those ideas. I for One can live with that.
\\

 

[Will2112001]

Steve You never ramble. It give great insight as to Yours and Sue's State of Mind. Also What's going on. No need to say Your sorry.

 

[SoonToBe]

She's downstairs talking to her sister on the phone. We talked briefly and she said she's going to leave here about 8:30am tomorrow and will spend the day at Roberts place. In the few minutes we talked she shared that he is taking the day off tomorrow too and that she hoped to be there by 9:15 or so and she giggled as she talked in telling me that she was going to crawl into bed with him when she gets there.

And so that's it. I'm sitting here wickedly horny and she knows it. She whispered that I should go relieve myself later tonight if I"m that horny and she giggled about this being fun seeing my arousal at what she's doing.

It's moments like this when my cuckold urges are at their peak in many ways. I know she's excited to spend the day with him tomorrow and it turns me on to think of her in bed with him after she leaves here.

It's going to sound crazy but I couldn't get the thought of them out of my mind last night - as we fucked in our bed all I could think about was Robert having her bare in like 13 hours from now and that I have willingly given that up. When I look at her and hear the excitement in her voice as she tells me about her maturing and growing sexual desires - and that she's embracing the idea that I want her to give him something that I used to have.

I think that perhaps that is one facet of my desire to be the beta-male - it makes me horny like nothing else to think that I've agreed with her to give that peak moment of pleasure with her to another man. No matter what I think of it comes back to my knowing that she will share that freely with Robert and others I'm sure and that I may only get to feel it on limited occasions. I cannot express the arousal I feel and yet, at the same time, the overwhelming desire to eagerly experience waiting until I will get to feel her again.

I know for her, she is enamored with only have her lovers's cum in her and that is the facet that seems to define the pleasure she feels. Mine is a different form - yes, that only her lover's cum is in her is a part of it - but that she will only experience that pleasure of him putting it in her with him is what I think most defines where my arousal comes from.

Several times now I've gone back and re-read my earlier posts from my earliest points of acting on these desires - both situations with her IUD. How I didn't recognize it then I don't know - but re-reading what I encouraged her to do only reinforces my acceptance of my desire. She knows I am glad I encouraged her as I did and now she understands a bit more of it too. I feel that same rush - that same intense sexual thrill - that same shiver up my back each time we use a condom together. I do love how she looks at me and knowing it or not - her enjoyment of it and her agreement and desire for me to do so - it is so much of what makes it more intense. I love knowing that she knows and understands that I want her to have that sexual moment only with her lover. So when she tells me it's been 40+ times that she's been with him - it is even more intense to think about.

My god my cock is hard after spilling all of that - no doubt of what I'll be doing shortly.

Will - you may be right that I am the last person to admit that I am, or at least I want to be a sub in this way to her.

 

[Will2112001]

Will - you may be right that I am the last person to admit that I am, or at least I want to be a sub in this way to her.

Steve, We are What We Are. I don't I ever made fun of You. My feeling has always been I can't be who I am without. People like You.
Yes some enjoy Humiliation. But that's another thread. You even Said it in You Post your a Beta. Makes you happy. Sue's happy.

Enjoy Yourselves.

 

[bevw]

Has your daughter ever commented on "the box in the nightstand"? I know my daughter often wandered into our bedroom looking for something of Mom's she needed to borrow. If the condoms are sitting out in plain site then she may have seen them and wondered why her parents are using condoms at this stage of their lives. Just curious. I love your posts and enjoy your adventure. Hope Sue finds a new boyfriend soon or things progress well with Tony.