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Denial discussion

Steve, I was beginning to think there was nothing to comment on since you have so completely explained your thoughts, and Sue's desires.

But, Peak is right, it would be better if she did her 'douche' more privately and disposed of the container in some other waste.
Also, as Peak suggests, she could similarly 'douche' out Robert's 'cum' before your 'special times.' That would be. 'Fair.' However, I know you do get turned-on by the 'slipperiness' of her pussy, even days after she has been with him, so maybe you are OK with that part.

Cheers, Harry
 
On the douching: Isn't it often an important element of cuckolding that the wife prefers the lover to the husband, sexually speaking? I know STB doesn't really get off on the "He's better than me" motif, but isn't Sue showing some signs of that with her "cum preference" for Robert over Steve? His cum: she'll carry around all week; Steve's cum: wash that junk out! She's cuckolding you, Steve! Embrace the angst! (It could also just be that Robert prefers her really fresh and clean, while she knows Steve loves her used and dripping).

I remember from long ago that Sue was really turned on by a Penthouse story in which the wife derisively stepped on her husband's cum. I wonder if there may be levels to Sue's thoughts about sperm --especially her husband's -- that haven't yet been fully aired.
 
Interesting observation, Cocu. It has been a continuos mantra, with Sue, that she prefers her lovers 'cum' to stay in her, rather than Steve's. Weather that is for, "Playing along with his 'cuckold fantasy," or her actual personal preference, has not been fully explained as I recall in their discussions. It would be interesting to know what her response to Steve asking about that would be. I am sure, by now that she knows she has a 'cuckold hubby.' Just maybe, she is acting out the roll of the 'cuckoldress.'

Cheers, Harry
 
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Also, don't forget Robert's been led to believe Steve has a "condition" of some sort. This far into things and so close to the end Sue might be wanting to maintain that illusion.

But I do also wonder if in her mind it is just carrying their condom play to a logical concluding point? Not so much as something for Steve to take personally but more as something she's thinking might heighten Steve's arousal even more. (Something along the lines of "you dont normally get to cum in me, and when you do it doesnt get to stay in me.") Some communication might help resolve things before they fester and develop into a problem.
 
Well, she came home very happy tonight and is now again sitting on the phone yapping with her sister so she'll be occupied for at least a little while longer. I do wish she could somehow tell her sister what's going on - I just think she'd enjoy having a girlfriend she could share this with - just a thought.

I suppose I don't post often enough about the angst that I feel - even now, knowing she's sitting there in the kitchen and that his cum is in her pussy - it just turns me on in the most intense way - it's not totally pleasurable, that's the thing - but it's more like a drug in that it seems to be something that keeps me continually aroused. I'm sure somewhere in my head I'm living vicariously through her - but there's so much more to the erotic feeling of knowing she is sexually his.

And that's the same kind of angst I felt this morning. I know that she likes to be clean for him - I've known that about all of her lovers. And I'm going to even say that way back when - that while I was sure she was having sex with other guys, she was always totally clean when we were together. I never asked her but now, seeing her behavior, it wouldn't surprise me if she did the same - douched before she came to see me. I haven't mentioned it to her at all but I do admit that it does turn me on that she wants to be clean for him.

To Cocu's question about sperm preference. I am sure what began as a tease has now turned into a bit more of a reality. Does she prefer him to me - I am going to say a qualified "yes" in that I think it is also circumstantial in that it intensifies what she feels with him - that's clear from how she's described it to me. I do think it's chemical/hormonal too - I do think it's why she's wanting to see him and, as I've said before, at times to just be there to let him make her cum and more importantly for her maybe, for him to cum in - as I've never really heard them do anything other than fuck. It turns me on but it would probably frighten me a bit more - or maybe just add an even sharper edge - but if she felt more for him or that there was more between them, then I would believe that the balance between pleasure and displeasure (for me) would shift.

All sounds so scientific - and yet it is such an intense feeling that it's almost the opposite at times. Even now, just a few days after our weekend - my god - I think I want her more tonight than in the past 2 months - the feeling is just intense - and yet to know and think that she's been satisfied by him and that he's now reclaimed his place in her body - it's almost as intense. It's weird to think that it turns me on but it does - and just the thought of her with him earlier, I can't explain but it seems to almost make me want to use a condom with her and let her experience that with him for now. I can't really explain it - but it turns me on in a way that nothing else does - to know that she wants that moment with him and not me. And while I could only encourage her to let Don have her first with her IUD just once - and while I could only encourage her to let Frank have her first truly bare and unprotected - in a way - I have that same feeling of intense arousal and this crazy feeling of satisfaction all the time. It doesn't make sense to me - but it's intense when I sit here and can focus on it.

I need to click submit now before I let my feelings and thoughts go too far.
 
What may have happened.while you were 'dating ' (douching) is far more 'imtimidating,' when done as your wife.
I still think that if it. "Gets to you" (irritates/bothers you), it should be discussed, and resolved, instead of taking the "wimp attitude" by rationalizing it as another way/thing that 'turns you on.'
This is not the kind of "angst" that is beneficial, long term. Not in a marriage that you portray to us as a marriage where everything is discussed and you each knows how the other thinks.

Cheers, Harry
 
Ya, I know I'm not looking at it from your 'cuckold viewpoint', but a "what is right" viewpoint. Fun and games are fine, and make a marriage exciting - not boring - but as 'cscguy' says, this kind of activity needs 'rules' to function agreeably for both. Trust is easily damaged, and must be constantly nurtured to avoid problems.

Cheers, Harryj
 
I don't think Sue prefers Robert over Steve sexually in an absolute sense. I believe "the new" Sue likes to be in control and knows that she can fuck her lover and deny her husband, in other words she likes Cucking steve but not necessarily because Robert is better sexually.
 
And I'm going to even say that way back when - that while I was sure she was having sex with other guys said:
Have you talked about that in the past? Did Sue cheat in the past?
Click to expand...
 
Wow - great replies - only have a moment right now but I re-read what I posted last night and I think it rings very true to me. I'm actually surprised it came to me and I could put it down in writing because reading it again, it seems to capture the type of arousal that I feel. It's weird - I mean I know she was sexually active before we met and it's always turned me on to hear some of her past - I was infatuated hearing when she lost her virginity and now I see that I was probably aroused knowing that it wasn't me who did that. Same with her an anal sex in college - it's always made me curious about why I seized on these few "stories" from her past - but I see it now that again, it was some other guy fucking her ass in college. And I suppose it's also why it's turned me on to hear about her first marriage and I've long fantasized and pictured her in my head what went on that first night for her.

TMW - once we became more serious together beginning about 6 months into us dating and then by about 9 months in - she was only seeing me and having sex with me but for the first 6 months or so she's never denied that she'd been with other guys. From your prior post - I do think you've perhaps captured how I think she is viewing things between us. Had we not reconnected so spectacularly and she not told me to leave the condoms at home for our quick trip away - then I'd agree that this was something more than just a thing that we're sharing and, apparently, both into right now.

Harry and CSC - I suppose I could try to ask her thoughts on what is going on with her in terms of all of this - but I think in a way it's asking the obvious. She likes him to cum in her and she's enjoying me not doing so right now. I'm a little scared to say that this is something that is really tickling my fancy and she knows it. The angst I'm feeling - it's painful at times - but it's not the kind of pain that hurts - it's not even really painful - I guess it's like a magnifying glass in a way. When I get lost in the feelings and thoughts about her - physically and mentally - it seems to swirl up and more than anything - it seems to sharpen my horniness and desire. Almost the opposite of what you'd think - but it's almost as though knowing I "can't" have her and that at the same time she's willingly spreading her legs for him - and then my thoughts go to her sitting there on the chair probably almost unconsciously rubbing her legs together, enjoying (as she's shared many times) the "feeling" - it's like a double-dose of it and I think it really gets me horny like crazy - and in a way - even more eager for our Wednesday night fun.

No, she didn't let me see or even feel her last night - we didn't even talk about it other than a knowing mmmmmm as we kissed and I'd pull her close to me - she had panties on when we went to bed and I know I noticed it but I didn't think about it. This morning she had no qualms about drying her hair and strutting around the bedroom naked though. In a way it's much more intense when she doesn't wear them - I admit that I even crane my neck at times to get a glimpse at her pussy lips and in my head I hope I might see a little trickle of wetness between them.

Gotta run to work - thank god I have a 45 minute drive in with a hardon like this.
 
If Steve were included whenever Sue is douching his essence from her body it would be teasing Steve to heighten his feelings. However, since Sue is doing this on her own and without a lot of including Steve, it could simply be Sue enjoying being a little bad. It has already been well established that Sue gets great pleasure from seeing Steve waste his sperm. By sharing that particular act with Steve, Sue might have simply feared damaging what had been an otherwise great week-end reconnecting. Can you imagine how naughty Sue felt laying in bed beside Steve knowing everything he had given her over the week-end was flushed away in the toilet, while Steve lay there beside her, satisfied and secure, that Sue was still full of him?

One thing I think needs to be mentioned is Sue's thoughts in all this. Sue is getting to experience, with a supportive husband, what most wives never even consider possible. Just like Steve has had to come to grips with his desires for others to be Sue's main players sexually, Sue may also be coming to grips with desires she is not completely comfortable in sharing just yet. She may be wanting to escalate certain things she can feel Steve is still struggling with. Sue may have harbored this desire to waste Steve's sperm longer than anyone could guess. She may have even more desires along that line she will want to try.
 
I keep wondering when I should start a new thread - but this all still seems to fit in this one...

Jax - you may be onto something as others here have pointed out, Sue did seem taken with that Penthouse Letters story and I'm pretty sure that was in a very old issue - at least several years ago. It's kind of erotic to think that she's maybe harbored a bit of this fantasy of her own for a long time - interesting to see.

After last night though, she should have no fears in opening up though as both my last few posts here as well as our recent weekend together and my subsequent horniness all came together.

Wednesday nights are kind of interesting - she kissed me when I came in and the kiss lingered for a moment longer and she smiled at me. I knew what the smile meant and I have to say that it left me feeling horny from the moment I walked in. I re-read my last posts and I came away surprised with myself for maybe coming to some realizations at what I'm feeling.

But it was when we finally went into our bedroom that things felt really good between us. She turned to me and said emphatically how wonderful our weekend away was and she particularly talked about how great it felt to be able to "feel what we did after so many weeks" - and I knew what she was saying. We talked and she said that she was "worried" about how we'd be after "what we'd done". I made her come out and talk about it so I told her something like "it turned me on to not cum in you" and I told her that I wasn't worried so much as that I was hoping that things would be as good as I'd hoped they'd be and I told her that feeling her bare for the first time was beyond description in terms of how it felt. She said much the same thing - that she felt so great with me that it really seems to have been a good thing for us.

What she also said was that it seems to have given her a better perspective on both us as well as Robert. What she said was something like "knowing we're good together makes it easier to enjoy what time I do have with Robert" - which may account for the lighter mood she had when she came home on Tuesday. Whatever it was - something individual - or it all combined with the unseasonal warm weather - last night was just a very close night for us. We both got naked in bed as we were talking and we were lying against each other and I could fee how warm she was. We were kissing and she was stroking my cock as well as touching me all over. I was playing with her breasts and she would playfully push my hand away if I went towards her pussy and at one point said "just you tonight baby".

She leaned towards me and licked at my neck and told me to talk to her - that she wanted to know how I felt "after so long". Again it was one of those moments where I felt like I could talk just openly to her. I thought of what I'd posted her and I started to tell it to her. I told her that I actually enjoyed using condoms with her - that after the weekend I think it even sharpened my desire to do so. She asked me why and as she cooed in my ear that "you can tell me baby" I let up and I told her some/all of what I'd been thinking. I told her that it turned me on that she would do things with her lover instead of me. She asked me more of what I was thinking and I told her that it'd always turned me on that she'd do stuff with other guys - and I told her that I felt the same about thinking about things we'd done. "Like what?" she asked. I admit it was hard to say at first - but I did it. I kind of croaked out "remember what you did with Don before me?" - it took her a second and then she said "you mean when you wanted him to be the first to try out my IUD?" and I groaned back a hoarse "yes" to which she responded by sliding up next to me and whispering in my ear as she breathed on my neck, in this sexy voice "yeah baby, I remember" and a second later she added "that really turned you on, didn't it?". I know that my response was obvious by how my cock seemed to throb as I moaned "uh huh". She cooed in my ear "you can tell me - I want you to".

And so I bit the bullet and I told her pretty much what I'd posted here - that it turned me on for her to have that experience with Don first - that somehow it really got to me and turned me on that "she would give it to him" instead of me too. And I told her that one of the most intense feelings I can remember is how I felt when it was my turn to have her after Don already had and I told her honestly that it turned me on incredibly that she'd taken his cum in her bare (without a diaphragm) before me and that when I did have my turn, that it turned me on to no end to not just think, but to know that she'd let him and that he had. I told her that I didn't know why - and I opened up and mentioned that it'd turned me on always - that someone else had taken her virginity, that someone else had take her anally, and that someone else had carried her over the threshold and fucked her as a new bride before me. I told her that if anything, it made me want her even more. I was so focused on trying to say what I did that I hadn't noticed how her breathing was so much deeper and how she was responding to what I was saying to her.

She moaned and said that was some of the sexiest things she'd ever heard me say about her and how while she didn't understand it, she could accept it as something that turned me on. She kissed me deeply - and I mean tongue and all - and then said "is there more?". It was easier to talk after the ice had been broken so I told her that "it happened again when you were with Frank - do you remember?". She thought for a moment and then said "you mean after I had the IUD removed?". I breathed in deep and said "yeah" and I know I seemed hoarse as I said "it's crazy but it turned me on so that you did that with him before me too". "I knew it turned you on but not like this" and then she said it "that it'd turned you on so much that I would do this with other guys instead of you?". I think she may have thought she offended me because she turned my face toward her and said "I love you - I love you sharing this with me - it's OKAY baby - I love knowing more about you". I told her that I hated that she'd think I was crazy or weird - but her response was "no baby - oh god no - its beautiful, I love you - I love that you could tell me that". And that was when I looked at her and said "using rubbers with you give me that same feeling every time". She had a look on her face that was as if she'd come to this huge revelation and she said in this really really sexy understanding voice "wow, I never knew, or never heard you explain it that way". I was still stroking away but had temporarily been focused on her face - but as I fell back into total horniness I told her "it did the same to me when you came home and told me how you'd fantasized with Robert about stuff".

I felt very horny but also very vulnerable at that moment - I'd literally bared my soul to her and I didn't know what to expect. I was still stroking away and I knew that if she was horny and was into it - that I'd cum in just a few moments - but that if I'd turned her off or she didn't respond positively - that I also knew my cock would shrivel like a grape in the sun. But when she slid up to me and stuck her tongue in my ear and said "I married the best guy ever" and she rubbed her breasts up against my arm - I knew she was okay with it all - even if she didn't say anything more - I could tell. Instead of being quiet - she cooed in my ear and said "I'm still wet from him" and she took my hand on the arm that was free and against her body and she took my hand and put it between her spread legs - she pushed my middle finger into her open pussy and said "can you feel it?" and then she hissed "too bad you'll have to wait to feel it with your cock!". Oh my god - it wasn't even that sexy a comment but it triggered the floodgate and I grunted and came all over my stomach - spurting up to my chest and even, I think, onto her chin as she giggled and moaned as I milked it all out.

More in a bit - gotta get on a call.
 
I hate to be unsentimental here, but hasn't Sue heard these same (2) unselfish reasons, for you to be "turned-on" dozens of times now.

Don got to 'have her first' after she was approved by her Dr. to use her IUD without a condom. Don was given that privilege willingly by you.

When her Dr. said the IUD could 'come out' and she would be "safe" from getting pregnant, It was frank that got to "have her first."

I get it, but I don't get why it was so different last night, than all the other times you have told her what now seems to be a 'mantra' of things you have let her 'lover's' do FIRST, and she always acts like it's the first time she has ever heard it. Am I getting "jaded" by the repetition in your story so just don't understand the emotional message here?

Cheers, Harry
 
Had a few more minutes.

After I'd cum all over my stomach Sue got up on one elbow but still stayed lying against me and she started to play with my cum like she usually does. Sometimes she'll spell out words with it, other times she'll pinch it together and see how stringy it is. Sometimes she'll comment on how much or how strong it smells. But last night - she was playing with it and she said to me "it really does turn me on that this isn't in me". And she turned to look back at me and said "it's not that I don't love you - I think I love you more than ever" and she proceeded to stammer a little bit and even struggle with the words - but she said that "whatever we're doing" and pulled some of my cum up into her fingers and said "this .... it's making me feel really crazy". I asked her what she meant and she said that it's been a long time since she's felt herself being so sexual and she said that doing this together feels good. I put the shoe on the other foot and said "doing what baby?" She hesitated for a moment and she said "you know....". I must have had a look on my face because after a second or two she said "okay, I'll try to say it".

She looked at me and said that all of our playing has made her very aware of how she has sex, what she feels and gets out of it and what effects things have on us together. She said that at first she couldn't understand how her denying me could turn me on and she said that she did it mainly because I said it did (it went without saying that Don or whoever also influenced her). She hesitated a lot and I knew how she felt so I did the same as she'd done to me "it's okay baby, I know it's hard to say it but it is okay - I want to hear it". And with a deep breath she said that over the years now that she's come to see how it turns me on - and that when I explained a few months ago that I thought she was feeling the same as I am, just from the other side - she said that made sense to her now - she looked at me and said "I like denying you now .... you've shown me how hot it can get both of us" and then she giggled and added "of course, when we do get together .... oh god was that good for us...". I held her hand as she talked and when she'd hesitate I said "it's okay - take a breath".

I'm going to say that last night I was more taken with the moment to really think about it at the time and I told her it was all okay. She wouldn't look at me when she talked more graphically. She told me how she's much more aware of who cums in her and how her pussy feels. She used more clinical terms - telling me how aware she was of how her vagina responds differently to Robert than me - and she was a little hesitant when she said that it turned her on "I guess like it does you" that he'd cum in her so much. She said that she didn't think it'd be something like this but that even when she's not having sex or whatever - that it now turns her on very much to know that she's only letting her lover have her bare. "So I guess it turns me on that I'm giving him what used to be for you". She paused for a moment and said almost rhetorically "that's what you wanted, right?". And I moaned back a "yeah".

She kissed me and said she loved me and then turned back towards my stomach and again started to play with my cum - this time pushing it into a puddle. As she played with it our talk became more at ease - she told me again how horny it made her feel to see me cum and again seemed to emphasize that it's not in her. I told her that it made me feel very close to her to let her share with her and that I liked her knowing she and what we were talking and doing turned me on. She cooed that it made her horny to think how I used to cum in her all the time and she said it again, that it turned her on that I didn't now and how horny it made her to think that I really want her to be with another guy and to have him give that to her. I was moaning and I know my cock was swelling already as she talked - but she was into it. Maybe playing with my cum helped get her opened up to talk - she pulled up a finger-ful and leaned back and brought it to my mouth. As I licked it clean she moaned and said again "you must have been so horny before we went away ... especially knowing how many times I was with him". When she brought the next fingerful up to my mouth she said "you know it was like 30 times, right" - and as she said that she quickly looked down at my cock which even I could feel had throbbed at that.

I moaned to her that it made me really horny to think about it and I told her what I'd said here - that whenever I looked at her and thought about her pussy having his cum in it - that it made me feel really horny and aroused. She had this broad smile as I sucked the tip of her finger clean.

But for Harry and others here - as she slid the rest of my cum onto her finger I finally said "I love it baby, but sometimes I wonder about what's going to be in the future....".

As she let me lick at her finger while my cum dripped down it she rubbed my cheek with her other hand and said "oh baby, you'll always have your time with me - we're always going to have special times together like weekends away where it'll just be us like it just was". And I surprised myself when I said something like "yeah but there have been a few times when I've been so close to really needing to feel you again". She pulled her now clean finger away from my mouth and leaned down so she was almost nose to nose with me and she said "oh baby, it's not like that" and she kissed me passionately and she said "if you needed that you just need to tell me baby - if this isn't something you like you just need to tell me". We lay there together for a moment until I said that "it is what I want - but sometimes I just need to know I can still have you". She kissed me deeply again and said I shouldn't ever worry about that. I hugged her back and I added that I was just concerned that this denial thing might become something more than just fun between us.

She pulled away from me at that and asked me what I meant. I was struck by the change in her tone and I pulled back and said something like "well, I'm just concerned that this might be something you decide is what you want for us for the future". She looked at me and said "I don't understand, it IS something I want for us". She said that just as I can't, that she can't deny what she may be feeling and said that she would always let me cum in her when we would have our special times and such "and of course if you ever really need it". But she then said "but it IS what I want baby, maybe I should be sorry I'm saying this but it's where we are and it's what I want" and then she said it "yes it's for fun but I'm also serious baby, for now at least, I really don't want you to cum in me that much". I was quiet when she said that - I'm not sure I was ready to hear that just then - that this was more than just fun. I mean I knew it was - and it turned me on that it was - but I don't think I was ready to hear it from her just then.
 
She obviously sensed it in my reaction and changed her attitude and approach. She said that it's not that we wouldn't ever go back to how we were but that she felt she had to be honest with me and that it was the truth - and while she didn't say it - I know she was saying that "this is your doing" (meaning me). I held her hand and I said that I didn't want to lose her and that I was concerned that we may be on a slippery-slope. She held my hand and said "baby, there's more to 'us' than you cumming in me - right?" and before I could answer she said, in maybe a more assertive tone "I still want to make passionate love with you just as we have been for the past few months - I couldn't live with out that". But then, in now what I can only describe as a more meek tone she said "but it really turns me on that you don't cum in me like you used to ... that it becomes something special between us when we do ... our last few times away have really convinced me".

I guess I had a forlorn look to me because she snuggled up to me and kissed me and said "haven't the last few months been really good between us?". I nodded my head. "My god what you did to me when we were away, I loved it" and then she added "and having you cum in me again after 2 months really made it so incredible". I guess I started to come around a little bit because she smiled and said "lets just give it some time - this is all new to me baby and it's so much to try to figure out right now". She kissed me and said something like "I meant what I said though - that knowing you don't cum in me really makes me feel good about us in general" I was at a loss for words until I said something about regretting all of this if it wound up coming between us. She squeezed my hand firmly and said "I love you and you never need to worry about that" and after she paused she said "everything will work out, you know that".

She did make me feel better with that - but I also remember at that moment - that with all of what I'd/she'd/we'd said - that I'd not mentioned something else. "It's not just that I'm not cumming in you, you know....". She looked at me puzzled. "It's that only he gets to feel you too....". She hugged me tightly and said "I know baby, I know - it's all part of the same thing, isn't it?". I spoke softly and said "Sometimes I feel so weird that I want this to happen". She pulled back from me and said "I meant what I said - I love you". I hugged her back and said "I know, it's okay - just as long as it doesn't go too far... " and I said it "...as long as it doesn't hurt us." The kiss and hug she shared with me after that seemed to convey more than words could. When she let go of me she looked at me and said "we okay?" I nodded back.

We lay there together afterwards until she looked up at me and said "so, are you ready for more?" as she reached down and gently ran her fingernails along my cock. I moaned my reply to her as I felt her tease the underside of my cock and I could feel it throb. I felt her hand hold my cock and start to stroke it. She leaned down to me and said "do you want me to tease you baby?". I knew that she was going to talk about what we'd just shared and I nodded yes.

It was her turn to talk and I think she was in the mood for it from the way she'd asked. Oh my god did she turn me on! She held my cock and she started taunting me. She teased me that "I wonder when our next special occasion will be?" "Thanksgiving maybe?" "No, that's too soon baby" and she turned to look at my face when she said "will you like waiting till Christmas?" "Maybe that'd be fun - I could put a little bow on my pussy and you could unwrap your present!". I moaned louder and louder as she talked. She then said with this sinister sound in her voice that "maybe it'd be better as a New Years eve present". And with this teasing voice (as I'm sure she could feel my cock now fully hard) she said "think you can wait that long for me? what is it 8 or 9 weeks?" (and I just figured it out - oh god - it's 10 WEEKS till New Years). It surprised me that I was as horny again as I was but the way she was talking was intoxicating.... She was stroking me now with full strokes and she was even rubbing her nipples across my arm as I lay there and let her masturbate me. "You can think about how silky smooth I feel baby". I started to thrust upwards with each of her strokes and a moment later she looked at me and said "do you want to do it?" and she gently put her free hand on mine and when I lifted it up - she smiled and she guided my hand to my cock. "I love watching you baby...." and I moaned back that I would do it - and for a moment she stared intently as she held mine as I started to take over.

Once I'd taken over I knew I was going to be quick as I didn't want to somehow go negative in my head. She started to tease me again going back to "10 weeks until I feel your bare cock in me baby" and then she cooed "even just seeing Robbie just once a week - mmm, that's like 20 times he's going to cum in me before you do". She could tell that taunt got to me from how I responded and she seemed to go further with it - she leaned down and started talking in a low sexy voice to me and said "mmmm baby - he's going to get to feel me cum so many times....". By that point I was lost in my own head and while she kept on talking I admit that my brain was full of the thought of his cock slipping in and out of her wet pussy - and when my thoughts went to him cumming in her - that was it, I felt my second orgasm spillover and even thought I knew I didn't cum very much - it still felt awesome. As I pulled out the last few drops of cum I became aware of Sue's quiet moaning and some rubbing she was doing with her legs/thighs.

When, I guess, she came down from her own orgasm she leaned down and again kissed me passionately and then said in this loving voice "this is going to be fun for both of us baby - I love you".
 
Harry - sorry if you feel this is repetitive - it didn't feel that way to me. For me - much as I've said it indirectly in the past - this was the first time I admitted to her how and why it turns me on. It wasn't easy for me to tell her how it turned me on to do this - nor was it easy for her to admit that it is what she wants for herself. To me it seemed like we brought everything out in the open finally including all of what I'm feeling as well as what she'd admitted to earlier - and now expanded on.

It wasn't easy for me to hear that she's doing this for more than just fun between us - I know she's said it before but to me, it's the context in which she said it. I guess what I'm saying is that I don't feel like we need to talk/discuss this much more - but more just move ahead. To me - we answered a lot of questions that I'd had as well as I think that others here had too.

Sorry - it seems like a more dramatic evening to me than it did to you. It's not easy telling your wife that you want to do this sort of thing with her much less to hear her say that she's liking what's going on and wants it for herself. Not easy - but incredibly arousing. Maybe it's the level of emotion that I felt between us - for me, it felt me like we'd moved the ball a bit further down the field after all of this.

No we didn't talk about future lovers or Roberts demise - sorry, that didn't happen.
 
Well, again, I've probably been to prosaic and thought/shared/recapped too much.
Still - felt good to put it into writing. So weird to want this.
 
No, Steve. What I wrote was in reference to what you wrote early today (post # 92) which to me was a typical description of many Wed. evening "fun nights."
....... But then.........

What you wrote later, (posts 94-95) really explained most, but not all, the reasoning in Sue's mind, as to why she is doing the things she is doing, and has been doing. That was very valuable, not only to your understanding, but to mine, and I'm sure to many others who will respond, I'm sure.

As she said, at first she really was doing much of this because you wanted it, even though she didn't understand why you wanted it. Now she is 'moving it forward logically.' She has put her own desires into it. Even though you may not be ready for some of it, and certainly not ready for what may surely come.

I think she could more fully explain why she 'don't want your cum to stay in her.' I think she should explain to you, why she would, "Wash it out and flush it down the toilet" 'as any other 'waste,' rather than giving you the chance to lick it out first. I understand her being "clean for Robert," I just think somehow there is more to it than that.

it's understandable that Sue can use the occasion of your masturbating to tease you about it not going into her, and even that her 'lover' gets that sole privilege. These are "fun times" for you both, and you look forward to it happening. Sue looks forward to it too, because she gets a lot of her questions answered.

In these last 2 posts, you got answers that explained to you, (and to us who read your postings) a lot of her motivations. I can understand now that what I told you several months ago, is exactly what is happening now. That is that by making you wear 'condoms,' she creates in you a 'longing desire' for that day, (or weekend) when you get to have her 'bare,' and get to feel her in totality, all to yourself. Not after Don, -or- after Frank, as has happened in the past, but that you will get to have her "bare" all to yourself. Even though it may be for a brief time, it creates the desire, and the "want of her" that she so much wants from you. It even seems that her being with Robert, or Frank, (or whomever may be next) is inconsequential to her as long as when you and Sue, do finally 'come together,' you come to her with a great desire and need of her, and then she will come to you as you come to her, with all your desires, and all your love blending together, making all that you have sacrificed in the weeks preceding worth it.

Cheers, Harry
 
Yes, I can sometimes believe that Sue's sex with her 'lovers' is, "Just sex" (I know it 's not always, and she has become friends with each as well, but overall, what she shares with him/them, can be considered much less than what she feels/shares witth you).

So I certainly understand that there is more to your 'union' (marriage), You and Sue, than sex, Much more, and that is what I realized by reading your second two posts (94-95) today!

Do I have questions? certainly, and i think you would benefit from any more answers Sue may feel comfortable giving you. Over the years, you have told us most, if not all, your motivations. Sue has come a long way, in expressing her rationale but certainly she has further to go. You deserve to be enlightened. Proceed with 'candor.'

Cheers, harry
 
Great revelations! You know I think she would like to just jerk you off and not fuck you even with the condom as much as she does currently.
 
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