SoonToBe said:
I will say that my new "understanding" of my desires gives me pause to look at a lot of other cuckold-related things differently. I'd long questioned the truth of much of the humiliation or other things that I'd considered to be more extreme. But seeing as we've embarked on something that others might consider equally unconventional, perhaps those are also ultimately based in truth for many.
Very interesting, STB. I think most of us with cuckold inclinations come to the realization (and acceptance) of depth and breadth of our desires only very slowly. It's difficult, isn't it? To have such strong urges so much at odds with the conventional understanding of how men are supposed to act, of how marriages are supposed to be? I think it is particularly difficult for some men -- those who have a strong and satisfying match -- to open up and share their darker desires with their wives; frightening to disclose things that might fracture that perfect relationship.
But some men are lucky. You're one of them, Steve. Whether because of the slow and deliberate way you've "brought each other along" this path of cuckolding and self-understanding, or maybe just that Sue is a natural cuckoldress, you have a mate and a relationship that seem perfectly suited for even more mutual exploration of your sexual desires. This is why I've sometimes encouraged you to open up and share your fantasies and thoughts with Sue, to the same degree and the same way you do with this forum. It seems so clear that your relationship can handle it. Actually, I'd go further and speculate that not only would Sue continue to love and respect you, she would probably love the liberation that "complete truth" would bring.
I know how scary it can be to let the person who loves you suspect that "you" might be different than the one she's lived with. But wow, if any relationship could handle it, it seems like yours could, and if any wife would accept and help you, it seems like Sue would. You've disclosed so much already, and it's resulted in such mutual happiness, and she clearly wants even more of it.
Here's a small, but concrete example. A few times, you've described your desires for her to treat you sexually as the "beta-male" in her life; but you immediately say that you've used other words with her besides "beta." I wonder what words? And should you ask yourself, why are you reluctant to use that phrase? What does it say about your reluctance to "******" to her (and maybe even to yourself) just how deep your cucky nature might be?
The reason I've encouraged mutual fantasy play -- play that exposes your kinkiest wants -- is that it's a way to dip into these areas with your lovely cuckoldress, without irrevocably "committing" to it in real life. If either of you don't like a particular fantasy or direction, you'll know it, and won't be inclined to go there. And I've frequently noted that it might be a way for you to reconcile the tension between your deepest cuck desires, on the one hand, and your need on the other hand that "it be real" for Sue, or that "she must want it herself." I think I really understand how much better it is for you, that
she really wants this or that, and isn't pretending for your sake, but she's growing and exploring herself and her insecurities about what you might think of her, if she reveals her dirty inner self. Complete honesty between you two seems possible, and I would continue to urge you to open up even more with the beautiful, loving, and as far as I can see, perfectly accepting person you are married to.
With the Robert era coming to an end, maybe it's the perfect time to "go deep" with Sue in the fantasy world, Maybe agree that each of you will write down one sexy scenario that you haven't shared -- not one that you'd ever necessarily want to happen in real life. ***** by pirates? Fucked by a dog? Dominated by her basketball playing bull? Who knows what it might be. And none of us need to know it. I wonder if it's time for Sue to know more about the cuckold Steve than we do?
You're a hero to so many of us, Steve. You've got a relationship that all of us would envy,you've got a treasure of a wife, and you are as accomplished a diarist as I've ever encountered. Thanks again for letting us go along with you on your excellent sexual journey!
