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Denial

  • Thread starterSoonToBe
  • Start date
I can only take a few minutes right now but should have time later tonight for a longer update.

Yes - as usual with our Wednesday nights, in addition to being a time to share sexually, it's also a time when we both seem to find it easy to talk openly.

Rather than a blow-by-blow (or stroke-by-stroke) recap as I've posted here in the past - we started a more open conversation about her denying me. It was obvious from how she spoke that she was/is still very concerned about "losing us". I reinforced that if anyone should be concerned, it'd be me and the loss of having sex with her - but she countered that it's not just me having sex with her, but that it is also very much her having sex with me. I told her that I'm content - for now - if she wants to limit sex to be with just Robert. She said she does want to do/try that - but that she feels uneasy when she is around me after she's had this incredible sex with him and is aware that "all you've had is your right hand" - and that she feels weird with her being in one-place and me being in an other in terms of what is happening or has happened.

I told her that it truly turns me on to think and know how sexual she's being with him and I even told her that it turned me on to hear her refer to it as "Roberts pussy". I told her for this next week, that she should focus herself exclusively on him and - and it wasn't easy for me to say it - but that I wanted her to not give me any access to her. She admitted that she felt conflicted at times - between wanting me to feel and be a part of her experience (such as when she's let me push into her on Friday nights) and her wanting to truly feel like she can direct her sexuality away from me. I told her that it turned me on seeing her smoldering away after coming home from being with him and that, I admitted it, that my knowing what she's done - and yes - how she is (meaning - still post-orgasmic from him and still feeling his deposit deep inside her) - that it's an incredible turn-on for me and that if she doesn't want to share that moment with me, then it's okay. I actually told her that it would turn me on to think and know that she doesn't want to share it with me and for me to know she wants to enjoy that feeling.

She hugged me and said at one point that she "thought this would be easier" and I told her that it isn't because we love each other and that she shouldn't feel like this is taking something away from me, but rather, just sharing it with me differently.

We only talked briefly about when our daughter will be away. I asked her if she had thought about it and whether she was ready to spend more time with him then. She was a bit hesitant and said that at times she's really excited about spending a night with him and experiencing the rest of what their relationship may offer - she asked me if I'd thought about and I was pretty calm when I said that had already expected her to spend a night or two with him during that time. She said that "we'll talk about it" more when it gets closer - and she said that she wasn't sure she was totally ready to spend the night with him. I didn't ask because the way she said it sounded like she wanted to think about it more on her own before we would talk more about it. So I"m suspecting that the week of July 4th will be when we do some soul-searching for what the both of us will want.

More later.
 
Steve,
Good insight. Every time you talk, things become clearer, if not always less complicated. It is clear that Sue is conflicted (as are you to a lesser extent), and I think as you do that this is normal and an expression of her love for you. It is also a function of the Men from Mars, Women from Venus thing. Most men regard sex as about gratification, albeit better layered as an expression of love but mainly the act itself not being totally bound by emotion. Most women find the act of sex enhanced if accompanied by an emotional bond. Sue craves one with Robert, even if it is not forthcoming from him. This creates a greater conflict for her than you and one that she regularly needs to check on. This is good for you because there may come a time when you have greater conflicts too. Clearly NOT a major concern at the moment!

So today is Friday, Sue is back with her lover and you are left to ponder again. Must have been rather a strange time out this week with Sue seeing no one else but still avoiding you. I wonder again if she has any plans to steal a few moments over this weekend as 'catch up'? She must be tempted. Maybe her return tonight will reveal more.
 
Steve, Once again I feel compelled to, “Pull your head out of the sand” and try to help you see reality.
Still, you seem to be willing to charge ahead, toward a point of no return, for your own personal desires.

You know I have read your “story” from the beginning.
You know that I have expressed concerns, several times.
Believe me, I care about you, and the future of your, and Sue's marriage
Believe me, I have thoughtfully considered what I write here.
Believe me, I know this is a cuckold site, and should expect to read stories of this nature here.
Also believe that I am not assured that the others involved, Sue & Robert and your family, are willing to live with the results of your desires, if played out to a logical conclusion.

Perhaps it’s the words you use that cause me to read alarm that is not intended. If so, I am sorry, but the words that you have written impart to me the heart felt concerns, of your wife.

If I saw, and heard these lines, ‘played out’ in a movie, I would know that the lives of the principles portrayed, were indeed in a serious place, and not “fun and games!


Quote: Post #81“We started a more open conversation about her denying me. It was obvious from how she spoke that she is still ‘very concerned’ about, "Losing us".
I reinforced that if anyone should be concerned, it'd be me and the loss of having sex with her, but she countered that it's not just me having sex with her, but that it is also very much her having sex with me. I told her that I'm content - for now - if she wants to limit sex to be with just Robert. She said she does want to do that, but she feels, ‘uneasy’ when she is around me after she's had this incredible sex with him, and is aware that, "All you've had is your right hand," and that she feels weird with her being in one-place and me being in another, in terms of, what is happening or has happened.” ..... “She hugged me and said at one point that she "thought this would be easier" and I told her that, “It isn't [easier], because we love each other, that she shouldn't feel like this is taking something away from me, but rather, just sharing it with me differently.”


Don't you realize what she is saying to you?
She is warning you, that being with Robert so much, is making her feel “uncomfortable being with you afterwards.” That by loving him, she is feeling her love for you slipping away?

Yes, I read the rest of your post. I see that she is pacified that it is ‘OK. But, she did express her concern, about, “Losing us”. This has come up before, and you have always assured her that you, want her to, ‘go and be with him’ as much as she wants.

Her words, if you have reproduced them accurately, say that she knows what she is doing, is not healthy for your marriage. I think you should listen to your wife. She is the one having the affair. She knows intimately what is happening with her & Robert, and what that is doing to her feelings for you.

Is your cuckold addiction so important to you, that you have no concern for your marriage?
Or, is it that, this is 'Just a story, for our reading enjoyment,’ and not to be taken seriously?

Cheers, Harry
 
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Harry How many time have You brought this point UP??? I Heard You the first time. I guess I was the only one who was listening. Steve sometimes You really have to stop talking to Sue. And start listening to what She is saying to You. This isn't just about You.
 
Will, thanks for your vote of confidence. It was not easy for me to say what I did, but I just felt it was time to say something.
Anyone else?
Harry
 
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Harry Agreed. Steve does not appear to be using wise forethought and more akin to damn the torpedo full speed ahead. To someone with a habit where it becomes all consuming until the whole house burns down around.
Indeed our words of caution seem to spur this on more to prove our thoughtful prose and concern wrong.
Where is balance? Balance is needed in all aspects meaning all aspects.
He may fail to realize if this goes South what will the son, what will the daughter think if it becomes out in the open?

Steve we are attempting thru words to bring some thought and reality but you appear to be on a very destructive course with shame and regret your possible end.

I will stand down having read your whole journey as well from beginning. The only reason I have wrote is concern for all involved........,
 
Harry ,Will,manon.
i do agree with all of you on this and i do think thate alot more out here as well that do to.
but will not post.
thank's stb for the story so far and hope that it keep's going and all end's well.
and yes you must listen to what sue has to say and look at it with an open mind as well. the last thing any of us want is for you and sue.
to ceash and burn big time.

keep us posted.
 
Can't say I agree with the mob here Steve. You have me convicted that you are in a good place at the moment. You obviously need to work with Sue to make sure the affair ends well for you both but to me it can burn all Summer and still be handled. If it really starts to go wrong towards the end you will probably both have a period when neither of you have entirely what you want. Just understand that in your case that would be denial. Sue will need your unrestricted attention to get over Robert. Just not yet.
 
As this appears to be one of the points in time where many of the long-time faithful ponder the pros and cons of Steve and Sue’s relationship/lifestyle and offer either encouragements or cautions (at this point it would appear that the conservative thinkers are ahead/gaining) I thought I might do the same and offer my two cents (even though technically we no longer trade the penny here).
First of all I think it is important for everyone to remember that whatever decisions Steve and Sue have made to this point and will be making from here on have/will be made as two mature, experienced adults. Three mature, experienced adults if Robert is factored into the equation.
IMO it is also important to remember that Steve and Sue have been in this same situation before especially with Brad and also, to a lesser extent with Don. As both of these relationships progressed Sue became confused, conflicted and ended up in some degree of turmoil in terms of her “growing feelings” towards “the other man” and also in terms of the potential impact that her actions would have on the marriage.
Also IMO what has now been put into play, through decisions dating back to June 28-2007 (when Sue told Steve: “you just tell me what to do and I will do it without questioning it.” And after a short pause she added “just so we’re clear what I’m offering as your present- for one full day you can do whatever you like to me or with me”. I started to smile and she said as clear as day “You can finally live out your wildest fantasy- if you want another guy to fuck me- just make sure he’s healthy if he’s going to come in me”.) cannot be reversed. Nor should it be. Obviously the fact that this early conversation even occurred indicates the relationship was lacking in something for the both of them.
Now after six years of being in “The Game”, the upcoming months appear to be ripe with the potential to take things to the next level with Robert and also perhaps for Steve and Sue to truly take things to another level in terms of their own relationship/lifestyle.
Despite their previous experiences though it seems that this relationship (with Robert) has introduced a new level of emotion, commitment and desire on everyone’s part and I do tend to agree with Will from post #77. Everybody sort of finds themselves in somewhat new territory and it’s going to take a while for everyone (Robert included) to figure out where they need to be. With that said obviously there is going to be some “glitches” along the way, however remembering that Steve and Sue’s relationship seems to be on solid footing I see no reason not to go forward at a reasonable pace, which they have been doing so far, and enjoy what the next few months bring. Hell no reason not to go full speed ahead, for the simple reason that, no matter what, there is now NO GOING BACK. It’s not as if Steve and Sue are now going to……what……settle back into a vanilla marriage…….perhaps a monogamous relationship…..be exclusive to each other until the Nursing Home. As romantic a notion as that is IT’S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN for the simple reason that it wasn’t working for them back in 2007.
Now again in my own opinion there is a variety of ways this could turn out and I see the significance of three of those outcomes as follows.
Steve and Sue will push forward, full steam ahead, and use Robert’s contributions over the next several months to help them get to the next level of their lifestyle before continuing on “happily ever after”.
Sue and/or Steve and/or Robert will get to the point where they will be unable to handle things and, worst case scenario, Sue and Steve’s marriage will be damaged/crumble. And perhaps at this point it becomes a situation where “it’s better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all”???
If this is simply “just a story for peoples reading enjoyment and not to be taken seriously” as Harry suggests in post in #83 then it doesn’t matter what happens nobody gets hurt and I then have to say it has been a very entertaining story indeed.
 
CSC You bring up some really good points. One I agree with 100%. There is no going back for Steve and Sue. But For Steve and Sue to on as Steve and Sue. Steve Really has to Listen more to Sue and what She is saying to Him. And less to His Small Brain. They are in this together.
As a couple. Each with their own needs and desires. That have to met. But that can only be done by each talking and listening to the other. Other wise................


Look screw the story Line. I want Steve and Sue to make It.
 
Will
i agree with you 100% and the last line the most of all.
i have wanted them to make it from the start.
i hope that stb update's soon i would like to hear how thing's have gone from wednesday to today.
keep us posted.
 
I'll weigh in as well. I have been a long time supporter of Steve. I have also long advised him to be cautious in his pursuits. I think Steve will agree that I have seen many red flags over the long course of his postings here and pointed them out to him. Some of those advisements turned out to be unwarranted, yet some of them were. The advice I always offered was friendly and hopefully was always taken that way. I backed off my comments and words of caution once I felt Steve was no longer interested in hearing it. The last thing I wanted to do was annoy him. Like most everyone here, I want Sue and Steve to make it. I am always a huge proponent of the couple in a marriage. I am glad to see them add some apparently needed adventure to their marriage, but I will not cheer them on when I see signs of trouble.

I equate the way some people approach this type of fun to an addiction. Like most addictions, one will end up "chasing the next high." The problem with this is when one begins to risk the important things in their life to achieve that next high. I'm sorry, but I think that is where things are headed for this story, if it hasn't already gotten there. Like most addicts, Steve, has begun to minimize the signs that others are seeing, ignoring the subtle concerns of Sue and in response encouraging her to escalate things further, and lastly, thinks he can stop it all anytime he wants.

I will disagree with the idea that Steve and Sue can't go back. I have known too many couples who have spent a few years having fun this way and settle down later in life very contentedly. I will say I also have known a few couples that could not stay together once the fun was over. Those couples were using the fun and games to mask deeper troubles. Once the focus was back on the faulty relationship, there was nothing to sustain them as a couple.
 
Steve,
Just one thought completely away from the recent topics. How computer savvy is Robert? I remember the debate that raged at the time Sue was seeing Frank as to whether or not either of them could be reading your posts. Your response at the time was Sue never would and Frank didn't bother. Could Robert?
 
Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?
 
Well - quite the feedback here. Quite the doom and gloom from Harry and Manon and what I feel is a more appropriate view from Peak and even Will.

Harry - I think maybe you've misinterpreted what Sue's saying - or maybe I just have rose-colored-ears (is there such a thing?). Your point about her concern about losing us - you seem to have viewed as her expressing a concern about herself and her feelings when I've felt it was more of a statement about her concern about my somewhat quiet and simple acceptance of what she's doing. I actually viewed her thoughts about losing-us as some of the motivation behind her "need" to feel that we had good sex together last weekend and her need to feel that we can still achieve that together even if we don't have sex as much.

I think, perhaps what's missing is the non-sexual content that we share together. She's off picking our daughter up from a party but earlier today - as with other times during the week - we do have a lot of time together now where we share and are a lot closer, perhaps because the issue of having sex between us isn't up for discussion.

Like today for example - we spent the day around the pool. Her lying out in a pretty sexy bikini kept my attention - but we shared a nice day. Some wine, cheese and crackers - and we just finished a nice dinner together with a little wine and some shrimp cocktails. I've said a lot of times that I don't share much of this side of our lives but maybe I should because in some ways, it seems so much easier being with her today knowing that we aren't going to seem to "have to" find time to sneak off and have sex sometime. Yes, I'm horny and she knows it - but she isn't and I know that and it's okay. For now, it's quite an arousing thought to be horny and to know she's not because she's well satisfied from him.

The reason I am putting less credence on Harry's cloudy view of things is that even last night when she came home - I knew she'd obviously had a good time and she did tell me a little about it later on (and hoping to hear more tonight) - but when we had some alone time later last night, we did snuggle and hug and kiss - but what we did more was that we talked about stuff. Home, kids, work, life - and yes - sex. Maybe I don't share enough of this side for people here to realize that there is more to our lives together than the sex. And its the rest of this stuff that is what's feeling even better - something she reluctantly admitted to last night in bed when I didn't make an attempt to try to coax her into being sexual with me. After we lay there talking for a while - she realized that I wasn't going to and after that, it became just this really enjoyable time.

Of course when it was time for bed I was still horny and she encouraged me to go into the office and have some fun and she was still awake when I came back and she asked me if I'd spoon up with her. It's weird but knowing it was non-sexual seemed to increase how close we felt.

i know we're playing with risky stuff. But from how she's describing Robert, I don't see him scheming or planning or anything like that. Yeah, maybe they do play the "let me get you pregnant" game - and it wouldn't surprise me if she teased him right back at it - but I don't see anything that makes me suspicious or concerned that there's more going on than just them having a good romp in the hay. Even her attitude about spending the night with him - unless she's not being honest - doesn't sound like she's ready for it yet. I haven't really asked her about it but it does make me feel good that she's not clamoring for it and making a big deal out of it or making it a priority. With our daughter away for 2 weeks though, I think it's obvious to both of us though that she will most likely spend at least one night with him - or maybe not - maybe she'll just use the opportunity to stay our really late. As others here pointed out - without him responding emotionally to her - I'm not sure that she's necessarily letting herself go with him (also as others said) - and I know that even she feels that spending the night with him is quite a big step forward.

The thing is - and it's weird - but I'm enjoying not having sex with her. It's crazy but last night masturbating - it just felt good to go off and enjoy myself and to then come back to her and snuggle up. It's almost as if simply knowing that we've each had our own private-type of sex last night was nice to share and feel together afterwards.

Just before she ran out to pick up our daughter I'd told her that she needn't always worry about me and that I'd tell her if I felt like I wasn't okay with things. She giggled and said that she likes my reassuring her and that it made her feel okay about it all. I told her that I was okay with what we were doing - and I even came out and said "it's kind of different, you know, not having you, but it's really okay" and I was calm and clear that I was content with it. She smiled as our daughter called and then said that we should talk more later tonight. She said that she couldn't fully explain how she felt but that at times she says it feels incredibly sexy and a huge turn-on to know what she's doing - but that at other times - when she thinks about our "traditional" relationship type of thing - that she says she has mixed feelings.
 
So - last night we continued that last thought.

As we talked a bit more - I asked her straight-up "what's with all the uncertainty and all of the need for all the reassurance" and I reminded her that she used to deny me more than this at times before. I didn't mention Don by name but she knew what I was saying.

She said that she'd been thinking about this more too and that she too had wondered herself. Then she said something that made sense to me - she said that "back then it was before I'd go out that I'd deny you". She looked at me and said that "now, it's after I come home that I also deny you" and she said she wasn't used to that just yet. But I also reminded her that she used to do it afterwards too. She was quiet for a moment and then said "yes, I know that too" and then she said that "that was when I was wearing panties all the time around you".

I knew I was asking a question that I may not have really wanted to hear the answer for but I asked it anyway. I asked her if that made it easier for her to let herself feel that way? She held my hand and said that she'd been thinking that maybe it was. She said that she thought that maybe it was easier for her mentally to have the panties, in a way, do the talking and that she thought maybe it made it easier. She looked at me and said "maybe knowing you could see them and what they meant - and that you accepted me wearing them" she said that maybe that was what was different. She did say that at times she liked "sharing with me" but at other times she felt uneasy knowing I was seeing her all the time and that she didn't want to always share the experience with me. I asked her "so, me not seeing you made it easier?" restating my question.

And - a second or two later she simply nodded her head and said in a quiet voice "yes". I pulled her to me and she kissed me and even had a little tear in her eye as she asked me if that would be okay for this week - if she went back to wearing panties when she was around me. Before I could answer she got a little tease in her voice and said "just think how much you'll really want me next week then!". I hugged her and told her that I would do anything she wanted to try and she hugged me back and then kissed me and said "okay". As we kissed she pulled me close and said that she loved me. As she did she pulled one of my hands down under her night-shirt and she told me "get a good feel now". And with that she spread her legs and let me feel ALL of her. I was hesitant to push my fingers into her until she put her hand over mine and pushed them in herself. She looked at me and said "go on" and as I started to move she said "just fingers though" and she pulled me in for another kiss.

I felt how relaxed and yes, spread open her pussy was - two fingers easily slid in and arched up to scrape against the upper inside of her pussy - her g-spot. She arched her back and giggled at how easily I found it. I commented to her on how wet she felt and she giggled back and said "that's still from him yesterday". And that comment brought my cock to full hardness - that the wetness I felt in her was from him...... I wasn't sure she wanted me to bring her to orgasm but when I pulled my fingers out and spread her apart and started to rub at her clit - and she let me - that I knew she wanted me to. Normally I'd mix licking away at her to bring her off but she said she didn't want that. So instead we just kissed as she let me pleasure her! I still know my way around her pussy even if it feels a little stretched out - and sure enough, as we kisssed I could feel her responding. It was surprisingly easy to bring her to orgasm. A few moments later I felt her start to shudder and I could feel her pussy clenching on my fingers. She hugged me tight through it and when she finally came down a few minutes later she pulled my hand up away from gently feeling her sexy folds and she said "that's enough till next weekend". She kissed me and said "are you really okay with this? I know it's not what we talked about". I knew what she meant and I said "if it makes you feel better about it, then I'll be okay". I felt she needed to hear one other thought too - I looked at her and I told her "in a way, it turns me on even more, you know ...... knowing what they mean". She giggled and said "you are such a perv" as she went to her dresser and pulled out a pair of panties. She walked over to my side of the bed where she stood naked and said "give it a kiss goodbye". I leaned forward and kissed her pussy - and ran my tongue against her now swollen pussy lips and I swore I got a taste of the sharp flavor of her pussy. She stepped back and said "maybe this IS what's been missing" as she stepped into them.
 
Steve,
Thanks for the updates. Life back to 'normal' now.

A gentle tease after a fairly gentle week for both of you sex wise. Good to see Sue is now back to normal. In a way the health scare will have helped you get through three weeks. I think this weekend would have been tough without it. You can count the days next week. Before then, I wonder how many times Robert will enjoy her before you do though? If Sue continues to update him of your absent status, he might get a sense of your coming turn (!) and try harder to keep her filled next week. How much he tries to spoil her could indicate any hidden intention more than any words.
 
Peak
well said and i do agree if robert try's to get sue every day he just might have a hidden intention's after all.

glad sue is better now and is somewhat back to normal.

keep us posted.
 
SoonToBe said:
Harry - I think maybe you've misinterpreted what Sue's saying - or maybe I just have rose-colored-ears (is there such a thing?). Your point about her concern about losing us - you seem to have viewed as her expressing a concern about herself and her feelings when I've felt it was more of a statement about her concern about my somewhat quiet and simple acceptance of what she's doing. I actually viewed her thoughts about losing-us as some of the motivation behind her "need" to feel that we had good sex together last weekend and her need to feel that we can still achieve that together even if we don't have sex as much.
Click to expand...


Apparently, there is not much that I myself can offer to make you "understand" what I "feel" from the 'energy of her concern' coming even through the words you wrote. That is why I made the example of the actors in a movie saying such words to portray meaning to the audience/viewer.

Perhaps your own words will have more impact:
Next steps Post #01: We talked about what she was looking for and what she wanted, and she really just said that she wanted someone who wanted her as much as she wanted him. She wants that new-relationship sexual desire, she wants a guy who's horny, and who "wants me.”

Did she find what she was looking for?
Trial Denial post #64: The way she described things, he always makes it seem like he wants her. Praising her, complimenting her, staring at her, and a biggie for her, she says, "He listens to me".

It's very clear, from how and what you write, that Sue is not talking about you there!

I hope that explains what I am trying to illuminate better

Cheers, Harry
 
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  • #100
Why so much doom and gloom? We can all lose our wives and husbands for a number of things but the glue that keeps strong couple together is communication. Obviously they have a ton of it. More than most at least. This is a cuckold's dream to have a woman that is willing to let herself go sexually, cater to and push their limits and love them more and more for it. Keep going Stb, don't stop her, give her more cuck rope to play with and love her like never before. You both are going to love the pantied pussy and then when she takes all pussy away you will love her even more as you both are already seeing. She obviously loves you of she wouldn't be conflicted over telling you she doesn't want sex with you anymore but loves you in all other aspects of her life. I am glad to see that you are going to let her be happy and completely deny you for a while. You both will enjoy it!
 
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