I admit it. Everything is all my fault. It was me making all the terrible decisions that ended us like this. No excuses. Or maybe a teeny tiny one. The smoking and the drinking would make any persons decision making a bit suspect. And you mix that with a lifestyle I never even knew existed a couple years ago, but that my boyfriend taught me to enjoy and ultimately love... Well, trouble was bound to happen.

I think I figured out what happened. You can't introduce a girl to her inner slut and then expect her to keep the slut away. Especially when every single night there's role playing and there's sharing me with all his friends and strangers in bars or anywhere, really. Most of it was fantasy, but not all of it. The lines began to blur and I didn't know what was what after a while. All I know is that my boyfriend was loving it and so was I.

We just never really discussed limits. And if there were any anyway? I was new to this. He should have known how to deal with situations better. He should have talked it out and told me what was what. But he didn't. So how was I supposed to know. Like, when he introduced his black best friend into our role playing with a huge black dildo telling me how sexy it would be if T-Dog would pull me into the bathroom at a crowded party and just show me his big black cock. Asking me what I would do if this really happened.

Then, a couple weeks later, it really did happen! Almost exactly as our role playing situation! This couldn't have been a coincidence! Right? Well that event started off almost a whole year of me being quite bad. And mostly being bad with my boyfriend right there... or close by. But a few that happened all by my lonesome. Like the time that my boyfriend Dave had to work out of town for only one night... but that same night, T-Dog stops by with a friend of his. He says he forgot Dave was out of town but since he's already here, maybe we can party for a minute. That minute turned into all night and most of the next day! They barely left minutes before Dave got back home. But the things those two black boys showed me... and did to me... will never be forgotten! Did Dave set this up too?

But that last experience proved to me the difference between black and white sex and how the two are miles apart. I actually considered going only black after that night. But the logistics of it all are just too immense! But from that moment on, I would never pass up or miss a BBC ever again. And some times, I had to go out and get it, instead of it falling in my lap.

The one place that never ever failed me was the porno shop. Any porno shop south of say.....Pico(Los Angeles). A young, pretty as me, white girl enters a place like that.... alone.... and the reactions themselves are enough to make you cum right on the spot. With a clientele of only black guys, it's hot to see which group strikes first. There's one group who don't strike at all. The just north of teen, just outta high schoolers who believe you're too hot for them to even try. So they just blatantly stare at your every move and drool on themselves. Then there's the group that also believe they don't have a shot so they strike halfheartedly with no game, expecting to be rejected anyway. Then there's the confident thug like character who already pictures you sucking on his cock in the parking lot and he will be all over you and wont take no as an answer. A girl doesn't have to do any work and could have as much BBC as she can handle from the porno shops.

And there's something about the black boys that the white boys haven't gotten yet, or tapped into. It must be in their DNA or something but, when you're in a group or alone at the mall, just shopping....when you're into BBC, they all seem to know you are. And it only takes a second of even, half eye contact. They know. And they will pursue you until they get(at least)your phone number. Whether it be at the supermarket, the mall, church, a party... they will size you up and they just know who to try to get into bed and who they're wasting their time with.

My boyfriend and I were in the Home Depot and after a while we split up with me headed to the outdoor garden and flower area and Dave to the Power Tools area. Within a second of being apart, two different black guys were on me. At the same time! They were actually dueling to see who I would pick to go home with. I finally told them, if I could I'd take them both but I was there with my boyfriend and some things are just impossible to do. But I did get each of their phone numbers to call at a later date to play with. I got to the counter and a tall sexy Rasta looking black guy apologized to me for the behavior of his brothas just wanting to fuck a hot white girl.

"What... you wouldn't wanna get with me?" I asked. He instantly tells his co-worker he's taking his break and takes me to some small storage room in back and lets just say, he almost got fired for taking a longer break than authorized and Dave was so angry saying he walked around the whole Home Depot looking for me. Three times!!

I think if you were to ask 100 girls.... Would you rather be a good girl or would you prefer being bad.... if they're being truthful.....100 would say bad.
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